remember no cries, just mental pictures of happy times.
the ascension to a higher plane...
3 months of dwelling there ...
blissfulness…
but it is now time to come down…
to step back into the valleys of life
the last 2 weeks...oh I should’ve already been in the army by then, but what a turnaround- despondency turned to joy as I had been given the chance to complete bible school properly. How I fought so hard just to get those last 14 days. You may ask… was it worthwhile?
most definitely!
I have experienced the 3 months in Full, and now, I go on to the next phase of life knowing God has blessed and built me during that time in preparation to move on. I will be fully equipped and ready for what He'll lead me to next.
------
where I go, no one will follow. I go it alone.
where I go seems all bleak and hazy, and no one will come with me
metaphorically, I feel like I’m plunging into an abyss.
With eyes shut and my entire state being filled with fear and uncertainly, I take the jump, hoping that He’ll catch me when I fall, because at this point, I don’t know how else I will be delivered.
filled with frailties and negativity, I’ll jump, placing trust in strength and optimism that is not from me.
where I go, you don’t follow.
If I be broken, let your prayers engulf me.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Saturday, March 08, 2008
eternity
oh its been so long.
my last post was meant to give glory to God for my exam results. I think I have failed to glorify Him as much as I could have, shortchanging what He's given me in the process. What an ungrateful being I can sometimes be... shouldn't I have been so compelled to just shout for joy and praise God in worship. He deserved so much more.
snippets of thoughts a couple of days of arrival back home:
hi, its me. i'm back in SIN. am I ready for the next phase of life? mentally, I doubt it. There is the little part of my mind, just somehow creating a wild hope, a little spark that does not refuse to carry on. As if I'm still a student, telling my entire self that, i'd still somehow return to melbourne. that part of me is strong... it manifests itself in my habits, like im still refusing to unpack my stuff, as if i'd only be around for a little while, before flying off again.
the silent depression and tears in my heart. only that no one knows how i feel. All the sighs when i'm moving around. no, it doesnt mean that i'm sad to be around family and friends, but i just really miss my previous life. A resident alien? i have grown accustomed to both the lands. Mastery of cross culture. both have become my homegrounds. I have to choose... do i already know my choice?
Goodbye,
SIGH
i look ahead once again towards a new phase in life, and honestly, I feel so afraid and uncertain.... but faith does not go by feelings. and that the important thing is who i am in God, and not what i will become
currently, feelings... overwhelmed
friends... miss them so much
future... bleak
weather... not helping
give me the strength to soldier on...
I know his blessings have been upon me, it always has. I am aware of it all the time... let my expression manifest it
....
its been so many 3 mths already. How time flies.
God is amazing
my last post was meant to give glory to God for my exam results. I think I have failed to glorify Him as much as I could have, shortchanging what He's given me in the process. What an ungrateful being I can sometimes be... shouldn't I have been so compelled to just shout for joy and praise God in worship. He deserved so much more.
snippets of thoughts a couple of days of arrival back home:
hi, its me. i'm back in SIN. am I ready for the next phase of life? mentally, I doubt it. There is the little part of my mind, just somehow creating a wild hope, a little spark that does not refuse to carry on. As if I'm still a student, telling my entire self that, i'd still somehow return to melbourne. that part of me is strong... it manifests itself in my habits, like im still refusing to unpack my stuff, as if i'd only be around for a little while, before flying off again.
the silent depression and tears in my heart. only that no one knows how i feel. All the sighs when i'm moving around. no, it doesnt mean that i'm sad to be around family and friends, but i just really miss my previous life. A resident alien? i have grown accustomed to both the lands. Mastery of cross culture. both have become my homegrounds. I have to choose... do i already know my choice?
Goodbye,
SIGH
i look ahead once again towards a new phase in life, and honestly, I feel so afraid and uncertain.... but faith does not go by feelings. and that the important thing is who i am in God, and not what i will become
currently, feelings... overwhelmed
friends... miss them so much
future... bleak
weather... not helping
give me the strength to soldier on...
I know his blessings have been upon me, it always has. I am aware of it all the time... let my expression manifest it
....
its been so many 3 mths already. How time flies.
God is amazing
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