eternity

oh its been so long.
my last post was meant to give glory to God for my exam results. I think I have failed to glorify Him as much as I could have, shortchanging what He's given me in the process. What an ungrateful being I can sometimes be... shouldn't I have been so compelled to just shout for joy and praise God in worship. He deserved so much more.

snippets of thoughts a couple of days of arrival back home:
hi, its me. i'm back in SIN. am I ready for the next phase of life? mentally, I doubt it. There is the little part of my mind, just somehow creating a wild hope, a little spark that does not refuse to carry on. As if I'm still a student, telling my entire self that, i'd still somehow return to melbourne. that part of me is strong... it manifests itself in my habits, like im still refusing to unpack my stuff, as if i'd only be around for a little while, before flying off again.
the silent depression and tears in my heart. only that no one knows how i feel. All the sighs when i'm moving around. no, it doesnt mean that i'm sad to be around family and friends, but i just really miss my previous life. A resident alien? i have grown accustomed to both the lands. Mastery of cross culture. both have become my homegrounds. I have to choose... do i already know my choice?

Goodbye,
SIGH
i look ahead once again towards a new phase in life, and honestly, I feel so afraid and uncertain.... but faith does not go by feelings. and that the important thing is who i am in God, and not what i will become
currently, feelings... overwhelmed
friends... miss them so much
future... bleak
weather... not helping

give me the strength to soldier on...
I know his blessings have been upon me, it always has. I am aware of it all the time... let my expression manifest it

....
its been so many 3 mths already. How time flies.
God is amazing