at Home...

but feeling so sick.
so many nights with no sleep... I feel absolute shit.

really really really really hate that man. He is pure evil. I wish he'd just die.
screw this whole week man.

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lament

looking ahead, life seems a blur, an uncertain path, and it leaves me feeling... fearful. well, at times. I'm quite scared, when there's time to sit down and think, I feel fearful, always wondering, always reviewing: whether I'll make it through, whether everything will be ok. Weighing up all the possibilities, I scrutinize the various outcomes and calculate very closely the chances of the the best possible scenario happening. And then, I sweat over it, and pray for SALVATION... over the matter. Sometimes during these points, I wish I had a fast forward option, I could just glance ahead and know, ahhh, it turned out ok didn't it? Now why was I so fearful then. It was ok, all along, its always been fine...
can I just have some audible assurance... tell me right now, that everything will be ok.

if only...

[His ways are not our ways, but His way is always best]

however, there is much beauty in life that can be appreciated, if not for that fear stuck in my throat and guts, its very hampering. It is only when I am fearless once again, can life truly be lived.

hahaha, and YOU, what happened to temple building??

090409

One year on...

don't write me off just yet