anti-christian.

on hope:

“Those who suffer must be sustained by a hope that can never be contradicted by any reality or be disposed by any fulfillment—a hope for the beyond. (Precisely because of its ability to keep the unfortunate in continual suspense, the Greeks considered hope the evil of evils, the truly insidious evil: it remained behind in the barrel of evils.)”

“Hope is the worst of all evils, for it prolongs the torments of Man.”

on love:

“Love is the state in which man sees things most decidedly as they are not. The power of illusion is at its peak here, as is the power to sweeten and transfigure. In love man endures more, man bears everything. A religion had to be invented in which one could love: what is worst in life is thus overcome—it is not even seen any more.”

on Christianity:

“Christianity . . . is the hatred of the spirit, of pride, courage, freedom, liberty of the spirit; Christian is the hatred of the senses, of joy in the senses, of joy itself.”

"The Christian faith from the beginning, is sacrifice: the sacrifice of all freedom, all pride, all self-confidence of spirit; it is at the same time subjection, a self-derision, and self-mutilation.”

"The Christian movement is a degeneracy movement composed of reject and refuse elements of every kind... It is therefore not racially conditioned; it appeals to the disinherited everywhere... It needs a symbol that represents a curse on the well-constituted and dominant... it takes the side of idiots and utters rancor against the gifted, the learned, the independent, for it detects in them the well-constituted and the masterful"

-Fredrich Nietzsche, The Will to Power

gratitude. thanks.

I will give thanks to You, for Your goodness and supplication on my life. No doubt, I feel the pressure (everywhere), yet, this time of my life is also the best and most relaxed period ever. Will there ever be a period like this? [What I worry most actually, is that it will be like that perpetually... can that ever happen?] I do not want to be a shade, living without a reason- it is actually one of my greatest fears. However, if I dig down to the very foundations of myself, my reason surely isn't clear yet. That's actually a very big issue to me, I need revelation.

calling...

again, You have a reason and purpose, a perfect timing for each season. I will fret not, and enjoy the fruits of this time whilst it lasts. Ironically, I feel so much stronger and fitter now (compared to army). Thank you so much for that!! It's amazing how my body has come such a long way, from scrawny to very fat to fat to so much less fat now! Okay that's just a side note. For this I ask that You'll lead me not into any temptation and let me use this gift of fitness for your glory.

also, please let me learn something new each day. Engage my mind.

"To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven... He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end."

let me never lose sight of You, let me never live a mundane and godless life. Instead, in all things I do, there will always be Jesus right in it. I feel scared, at the same time I know You'll come through as You always had.

I like to say this in my mind all the time, but I really mean it: God, if you have called me to be a construction worker, so be it, let me accept it with grace and do its task for glory's sake. I'm sold.

thanks also to all the readers out there who've actually been reading my blog, and encouraged me over the years.

hearts returned. rightful owner.

for you, suffering the pain of unrequited love.

give your heart back to God. Do not put something so valuable such as your heart and serve it on a platter to a human. A mere human being. Your heart is reserved for a one much higher than that. Someone who sympathises and knows how fragile and precious it truly is. Someone who understands it. Someone whom you can entrust it to and will never ever break it. Because he really loves you. Pray. Ask earnestly: Take back my heart Lord, Let my life always be filled with love and affection. Yours. Captivate my heart forever.

in unrequited love, pain is inevitable. Sometimes you play it down thinking that your pain is not worth paying attention to. Perhaps, because you think too lowly of yourself, or when comparing your situation to someone else's- going through what is perceived as a real tragedy, be it death, separation or even illnesses, you wonder if your case is as 'serious'. But pain is pain, do not even disguise or simply try to write it off as being anything else, merely because it seems lesser when compared to the degree of pain others experience. Address it. Bring that sadness to God. He made us, He knows us, He fixes us and He'll father us through it. That is his promise to you.

to you, suffering from unrequited love.

do not let your life be governed by this depression anymore. Do not blame it or go back to it whenever you get knocked down in other circumstances, using it as the reason for being stifled or to amplify the depression. Overcome it by being filled with the love of Christ. And finally, live. Live by the only correct way of feeling alive- chasing after the heart of Christ and being so in love with Him.

wait on His timing. Someday, He will give you a partner and ordain that relationship. When your heart feels alive and is aroused because of him, there will also be a divine sense that the time is right for it too...

"Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart."

“If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.”

peace. the. fullness. of. life.

(Tang Tang)

right now, I am where I am needed to be. There is no utopia nor is there a greener pasture to settle elsewhere- unless I hear a distinct call to sojourn and move out. So far there hasn't been one but only the cry of my own heart screaming with petty reasons. Do despise it though, because the reasons, no matter how petty they are, have left my heart ravaged and broken. This desire within me now to leave this place and circumstance is merely a weak attempt to flee from a calling or a destiny that is at hand. In short, I am a coward.

or, I am just worried and scared of the upcoming chain of events. All that worrying has made me try so hard to orchestrate the future to fit my own terms and conditions, dictating them to achieve my desires. However, all that tempering and intervention (or whatever futile attempt at it) so far has gotten me nowhere. Instead I feel grounded and resentful, not wanting to move out from the safe rock and going on to experience that which is life...
I do not want to clamp up anymore. Time to step out and live.

it doesn't matter where I am or what I do, as long as I am in the very center of the presence of God, exactly where He has placed me to be.

if Jesus is not the center of your life, then your life is out of focus.

trust me to think of this hymn back in 1994, when I was a little kid, as my baptism song. Now within these lines are stuff that is so real to me. I guess you really are what you choose- having picked this hymn, it now resonates as my lifesong:

I don't know about tomorrow
I just live from day to day
I don't borrow from it's sunshine
For it's skies may turn to gray
I don't worry over the future
For I know what Jesus said
And today I'll walk beside Him
For He knows what is ahead

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand

Every step is getting brighter
As the golden stairs I climb
Every burden's getting lighter
Every cloud is silver-lined
There the sun is always shining
There no tear will dim the eye
At the ending of the rainbow
Where the mountains touch the sky

I don't know about tomorrow
It may bring me poverty
But the one who feeds the sparrow
Is the one who stands by me
And the path that is my portion
May be through the flame or flood
But His presence goes before me
And I'm covered with His blood

Do Not Worry
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes... Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? ...But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

JESUS YOU ARE MY LIFE AND EVERYTHING I WILL LIVE FOR.

love. onward.

the stories of success are always from those with drive, passion and vision for something in life. Even when that vision wasn't what they set out to do, these successful people still had the same resolve in them, translating that resolve onto another vision and going on to achieve a successful life nonetheless.

the stories of successful people in the faith were the same- always from people who had these characteristics. If not in the things of God, then it would be on matters in the secular world (initially), although God would somehow lead them out of it and direct that drive on towards visions pertaining to His. They'd take a 'gamble', put everything into the hands of the Almighty and take the plunge, submitting all their hopes and dreams into His hands, knowing that it'd turn out fine in the end.
usually in those stories, these people did turn out fine, and much more so.

however, the stories of success were always built on these characteristics- plans, dreams and passion. All these words are frequently etched all over that person's life. He had believed in something greater, went on to be bigger than life and achieved... A driven person.
doesn't God always seem to call those kind of people only?

what happens when one doesn't have a drive, passion or vision in his life? what happens to such an individual????
does he live a lukewarm, indifferent life? Merely living between the lines of mediocrity and averages? A specter of a life.
instead of putting every ounce of dream, passion and vision into God's hands, which this particular person is devoid of, He has to do something harder, and that is to put his very life into the Creator's trust- putting life on the line and taking the plunge. He will get down on his knees, pray and ask for himself to be a success, for the Almighty's dreams, passions and visions to be infused into him and for his life, the only thing he has any value of, to be to be sacrificed to His God. He'd have to trust and know that it'll turn out fine in the end, and take that plunge...
what happens? Somehow I believe that such a person will turn out fine, and much more so too... ;)

"O LORD, you have searched me and known me...
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well."

暴风骤雨

抛弃

you won't fail me... all your promises still stand, and I reject anything within me that thinks I am a lesser person or made useless whatsoever. I stand by all the power and authority you have promised to bestow on your sons.

sometimes, I don't even feel any strength or willpower to fight.
sometimes, it feels as though I've got no one backing me up. Actually, I kind of feel that all the time...
but it's alright, I've been there countless times before, and I haven't broken down or died in ANY of those circumstances. In fact, I am the king of gritting my teeth and carrying on despite the load and sadness upon me. I did it, despite all circumstances telling me otherwise.
this time though, I do not want to do this again the same way. I want to do it, with the full knowledge of my God right with me. When no person comes, when there's no form of rescue from anybody for me, I still know that He's got my back always... it will be on his very existence that I live and find mine own. Because His existence is love... and life.
...more than enough for a human being. That's surely the reason to carry on.

--

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?
Hebrews 13:5,6

Night Fury !

I'm not worth it.

period. all around, there are people 100x better to choose from.

the sluggard destroys himself....the ant is hard working, but ULTIMATELY neither the sluggard nor the ant matters, if you don't etch and root your planning and foundation in something meaningful- Christ Jesus!
-Steve

its retarded that we can't watch the world cup without paying $$$ (I'm poor)