peace. the. fullness. of. life.

(Tang Tang)

right now, I am where I am needed to be. There is no utopia nor is there a greener pasture to settle elsewhere- unless I hear a distinct call to sojourn and move out. So far there hasn't been one but only the cry of my own heart screaming with petty reasons. Do despise it though, because the reasons, no matter how petty they are, have left my heart ravaged and broken. This desire within me now to leave this place and circumstance is merely a weak attempt to flee from a calling or a destiny that is at hand. In short, I am a coward.

or, I am just worried and scared of the upcoming chain of events. All that worrying has made me try so hard to orchestrate the future to fit my own terms and conditions, dictating them to achieve my desires. However, all that tempering and intervention (or whatever futile attempt at it) so far has gotten me nowhere. Instead I feel grounded and resentful, not wanting to move out from the safe rock and going on to experience that which is life...
I do not want to clamp up anymore. Time to step out and live.

it doesn't matter where I am or what I do, as long as I am in the very center of the presence of God, exactly where He has placed me to be.

if Jesus is not the center of your life, then your life is out of focus.

trust me to think of this hymn back in 1994, when I was a little kid, as my baptism song. Now within these lines are stuff that is so real to me. I guess you really are what you choose- having picked this hymn, it now resonates as my lifesong:

I don't know about tomorrow
I just live from day to day
I don't borrow from it's sunshine
For it's skies may turn to gray
I don't worry over the future
For I know what Jesus said
And today I'll walk beside Him
For He knows what is ahead

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand

Every step is getting brighter
As the golden stairs I climb
Every burden's getting lighter
Every cloud is silver-lined
There the sun is always shining
There no tear will dim the eye
At the ending of the rainbow
Where the mountains touch the sky

I don't know about tomorrow
It may bring me poverty
But the one who feeds the sparrow
Is the one who stands by me
And the path that is my portion
May be through the flame or flood
But His presence goes before me
And I'm covered with His blood

Do Not Worry
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes... Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? ...But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

JESUS YOU ARE MY LIFE AND EVERYTHING I WILL LIVE FOR.