,

its monday again and I feel dread:/
guess I deserve to be reprimanded and scolded at. But in my heart of hearts, I will learn (eventually) that I am not defined by all my weaknesses and shortcomings. I will learn to live justified by God, not because of me, or any wonderful actions that I had done, but because of God's initiating love, and what Jesus had done for me.
it's going to be a tough lesson, especially when its a struggle trying to do activities without being bogged by a loser thought-life. But its time to get out of the corner. I don't really think Jesus wants me there anyway. I should not think of myself as a loser. There are also loads of people that need help, I think I could also be of service.

oh my, look at the time, I need to try to close my eyes, I need to sleep.

Your.Glory.in.my.disparity

I feel like I'm gonna break down. I feel really sad...

I want to be all for Jesus and nothing else. God please remember your son- I stand, live and breath, all for Your glory's sake- even in my down time, even in my anger and even in dissatisfaction,
You are still Lord of this circumstance. Let your glory be known in my life even in such times cos
You are BIGGER than all of this.

Whatever the period, whatever the season, let me just live under your grace, your care and your providence...

Son, out.