as uni progresses, I really feel so lost and disconnected. Its funny how I can walk down a roadway packed with so many other students and still feel so alone. There are so many places where the proxmity of people are so close, and yet I feel no intimacy to anybody at all. I walk with a multitude of people, but I'm all alone.
that feeling really sucks
somehow, I truly find it hard to make friends here. Maybe, its just me, being screwed up, anti-social and shy. Sometimes, I feel I'm just not up to it when it comes to networking and finding friends. How else can I explain going to uni without even recognizing a single person.
really discouraging...
But staying alone has definitely taught me to fend for myself. I definitely feel that I have become so much stronger away from home. I learn resilience. I have been made tougher.
sometimes I feel that people do not give you a chance, that you are accepted or rejected based on facades, abilities and even status. If you dont have these qualities then you can expect to sit out and receive no reception. Some people even take you in as a friend yet treat you with such a condescending nature- They're always better, and somehow you're treated like a lower status person. Also, when you pour out your problems and weaknesses to them, they suddenly smile and offer you few words of encouragement. But really, they smile as they gain happiness basking in your misery.
Others, well, they just don't even give a shit.
but I will not let the issue of lonliness nor condescending folks hinder me- Even if there's no one here who cares for me, I WILL still bother to care for people.
I truly hope to be able to show them compassion and be a light.
'I'll touch the world, like you've touch my life'
It's hard work, definitely even more so for someone in my position, but I know I am empowered to be a blessing to people, no matter how flawed I can be.
Anyone can. You just need to decide.
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