.

wow, once again, I am baffled at the way time can just fly so fast.
a week ago at this time, I was away at easter camp and looking forward to a wonderful week of holiday that was to follow thereafter.
and before that I had just been through such a tough and grueling week at uni (of tests and assignments).
you can imagine the happiness when those tests came to an end as I was immediately ushered into the holidays. (seriously, that was such a high)

holidays contained happiness, joy, lonliness, depression, procrastination, study, fatigue, laziness, prayer, falterings... (the lot)

but today, all of it seems to have come to an end. It is now the weekends, which will be closely followed by school again. The easter break is over [just like that].

how precious is time!! there is no such thing as a pause button in life. time-outs do not literally mean what they say.
the clock ticks... and my youth is being wasted away.
so much of my time has been thrown, and devoted to non-value added stuff. I feel so guilty now.
I really hope I've done something through the week that has somehow pleased God, but it's so hard to tell. I fear that I have wasted this whole week as nothing I've done is worthy enough to be mentioned. nothing I've done may have pleased Him at all.
In fact, I feel I haven't really been worthy enough at all.
I've done nothing.
crap.
I'm useless (the truth hurts)
how come I can have so much ideals and visions, yet somehow do not execute what I think.
what i wanna do I do not do, what I do not wanna do, I end up doing.

I'm wierd. How is it I can have such drastic mood swings. How come I can look normal on the outside yet feel so downcast and hurt on the inside. Why am I always battling internally- and putting out the fires within to troubles that other people do not seem to even know. and sometimes, it's as if I feel that there's no person in the world that would be able to help me. heck, I can't even describe my problems.
how did so much happiness manage to escape from me? Did I not pack enough with me to last through these times?
oh yes, its the idle periods when I fall the most.

anyhow, back to the issue of time- its just amazing how this whole week of holidays seem to just Fly by just like that.

I guess easter camp was something worth mentioning.
I really went there with the intent of seeking God. I guess he gave me the added bonus of fun and I also got to know the people at church better.




oh oh
I saw a video that made me laugh my ass off!
the mighty Steven Gerrard... scratching his b@!!$!!!
it's insane!!!!!!!!!!!!!



he does it in front of kids, and the other players dont seem to care.
I guess he could be doing something else, but heck, it just looks so obscene.