humiliation

blasted by a bus driver for trying to ask him to change my dollar note for a ticket. What the heck, he gives me a lecture on how the rules have changed and bus drivers are now not allowed to change money for customers. Before I could explain that the machine in the bus station was spoilt + the conductor didnt have enough change (one who cared bollocks) and there wasnt a single person around, he simply cut me off and yelled his rights and my wrongdoings.

he said that the bus was under surveillance and everything that's happening is being recorded and that he'll give it to the head office which'll remember my face and put it on the state registry so that they'll remember me and be able make sure I do not do this again. He also cautioned me about my speech (because everything that is said in the conversation is being recorded) and mind you till that point I hadn't really been chanced to even say a thing:
"sorry about that but..." (no chance for my explainations)
"but I couldnt do anything about it" (he starts implying that I'm now blaming him)
"I'm really not trying...[to do anything criminal here]" (couldnt even finish that sentence)

as he kept rolling about how the entire situation was due to my irresponsibility and he had nothing do do with it, I felt utterly helpless. If there was a time I really needed someone's help so badly, that was it.
Finally, I looked desperately at him and asked what I could do about the situation now (nxt bus is in an hr's time).
he simply gave a look of utter disregard and said that he'd change my note this time. after handing my my ticket, he went on to look at the surveillance camera and started going like 'INCIDENT AT 12.05PM... PASSENGER...', as though my actions were crininal.

at that point I felt like crap. tried to force a smile and show that I was somehow really really thankful that he could transact the $20 note for a ticket and $15 dollars change (oh by the way, he had a little cashier beside him filled with cash, and when I looked at it initially, he goes like 'oh don't you go all big-eyed looking at that cash because it none of your business...'

right, when I finally sat down on the bus I felt like the worse human ever alive. I was utterly humiliated and really just so down.
I just want to say that through this whole incident, I didn't raise my voice nor did a single curse word come out of me. I was standing there getting slaughtered as passengers watched the spectacle unfold.
but since this is my space and my outlet to finally let my feelings out, I'd like to say that I feel the whole treatment I received was unfair, harsh and wasnt justified at all.

I wanted to pay for a ticket.
I had a note and no alternatives to change it.
I couldnt explain my situation.
I got blasted.

I would definitely keep this experience in mind so that I myself would not do this unto someone else.

oh yes, I've also lost my fringe today. (I know, what a sad day. lol)
when I said to keep the front 'over the eyebrows', it doesnt mean like short hair right? I mean, short means' under the eyebrows' isnt it. oh man, what a horrific outcome a single slit can make!
I don't know, but I guess there's always the good ol cap to wear when everything's in a mess.

well, thanks bus driver, I'll definitely learn to treat people better than how you treat them

"I love the Lord, and if Loving the Lord is wrong, then I don't wanna be right!"

assignments and presentation all looming at the corner.
beyond that lies the massive exams (have like 2 papers in a day!)

(oh God, not another pile of bollocks)

Finally.
the hard part was squeezing all the words into the 2 small pages provided. I had it all typed out on the computer but that was wayy over the word count.


lights out!

we did it!

what a comeback!

I made this...

behold :D

...Thanks for everything Mom, love you so much.

time for sleep

I always thought my heartbrokenness was punishment for all I've done to her

Who is Theo Walcott??

sven's England call-up
• Goalkeepers: Robinson (Tottenham), James (Manchester City), Green (Norwich)
• Defenders: G Neville (Manchester United), R Ferdinand (Manchester United), Terry (Chelsea), A Cole (Arsenal), Campbell (Arsenal), Carragher (Liverpool), Bridge (Chelsea)
• Midfielders: Beckham (Real Madrid), Carrick (Tottenham), Lampard (Chelsea), Gerrard (Liverpool), Hargreaves (Bayern Munich), Jenas (Totenham), Downing (Middlesbrough), J Cole (Chelsea), Lennon (Tottenham)
• Forwards: Rooney (Manchester United), Owen (Newcastle), Crouch (Liverpool), Walcott (Arsenal).

oh crap, maybe he's gone too far
-----

well, the weeks leading up to the end of the semester are flying by- the days simply dropping like flies. I can't believe it's coming to week 11 that quickly.

we certainly need to see time from a Godly perspective if we are to make the best out of it: I need to make a stand for Him, and make it all worthwhile here. Cos at the end of the day, there's only worth when you do it all for His glory.

anyhow, I've been in the computer labs all week, camping there till the sky turns dark basically. But oh man, I feel so industrious! Especially knowing that I've singlehandedly done my group's assignment- they will be pleased to know that I've completed the prototype for assignment 3 already.
yes! It sure makes all the 'camping' times worthwhile and rewarding once your efforts get paid off with a beautiful working program. It'll def. make your group members much Happier people too! ahahaha.

then again, it's also really tiring and sometimes bad cos you tend to forget about meals and neglect all other things when focusing on the task at hand. aha. but yea, when you know you've done a good day's work. you sleep so much better.
and it feels soo good too!
oh yes, it's also for Him. and his glory.
cheers.

if sven had the balls...

…carrick would be a starter for the England squad in the world cup and owen should be relegated to the bench (yes, you heard it. NO start for him!).
[oh, this is in the light of rooney’s injury, by the way, if you’re unaware of it]

rio [ferdinand] is DEF behind Carragher in the pecking order at the moment as his performances this season does not warrant him a start when there is a better defender who can play with heart.

(my best England line-up)
---------------Robinson------------
Neville-Carragher-Terry-A.Cole
--------------Carrick---------------
Beckham-------------------J.Cole
---------Gerrard-Lampard-------
---------------Crouch-------------

england’s most powerful asset is now their midfield. No question. It is filled with talent and if used well, will dominate the opposition’s. A lone striker in the form of peter crouch will be able to hold the ball and bring the midfield into attack.
With rooney out, gerrard and lampard will now be able to be play in their best positions respectively- roaming midfielders/hole players/behind the striker, everywhere, basically.

this is only possible with the vacated position left by rooney’s injury and if another holding midfielder is introduced to allow both these 2 men the license to attack.

carrick at the back would allow them both to be able to enjoy their best positions without competition. He would unshackle gerrard from defending duties and allow lamps to be always on attack mode.

and why not? Carrick has been excellent and has really excelled this season at Spurs. A deep lying playmaker, he can conjure up the killer balls and guard the back four sufficiently well enough as the midfield to retreats to defend.

england would surely stand a higher chance of triumph utilizing her talented midfielders- joe cole, gerrard and lampard all marauding in attack is definitely be a treat for all watching.

I know many people would say that crouch stinks, but he is more than able to hold-up the ball and link play. If he can do this well, then its game on for him. Also, if the exceptional supply from becks allows crouch to score some goals (think becksàrvn, then Goal!), then it’ll be an added bonus for the team. But even if he doesn’t score, but does a fine job in bringing the midfield into the game, than I’d say again, its mission accomplished for him. I’m sure a midfield with the likes of cole, becks, lampard and gerrard won’t have a problem finding the back of the net if they had good service from a big striker.

others might reckon: owen as a lone striker? Well, he just won’t cut it. Not that I’m criticizing him or anything, but owen is just a different sort of striker- he is built with the qualities of a poacher. A more selfish and direct style of play would mean that the midfield would not benefit much playing off him. And again, england’s most powerful asset is it’s midfield. Depriving their effectiveness means an inferior England. He also doesn’t have enough games in his belt to even deserve a start. A player that hasn’t played a game for more than half a season is nowhere near match sharpness. But, as a super sub, I’d say owen would be perfect. He absolutely fits the bill for this- a speedy hit man on the bench is a luxury any manager would relish. After all, he did bang goals on such a consistent basis when coming off the bench during his time real madrid.

but sadly, come the world cup, england’s midfield will be running at an inefficient state.
owen will start
rio will start
and carrick on the pitch will be a rare sight.
because Sven is in charge.
though all these factors will be to England’s detriment, it will still happen.
because Sven is in charge
with a ball-less boss like sven, he will probably go starting owen with crouch just to appease his stars. He will stifle either gerrard or lampard. He will choose rio (passionless) to carragher (heart). He will be the downfall of England.

so c’mon sven, show us some balls come world cup. Bring on the talents and throw away that boot sucking loyalty that you show to the regulars. When they suck, drop em. When a formation ain’t as effective, change it.

and while you’re at it, bring other talented guys like nolan and lennon [underrated] please!

Information systems architecture
Aspx
InstantOrder.Asmx
Myproxy.vb
Webconfig
IBuySpy
Commerce database
A business logic machine and a database to be created for a client.

well, these are just some of the jargons I have come across (over and over and over and over again) as I have been camping in the computer labs working on the assignments

game On!!

Matt wrote:

On Tuesday May 02 2006...
"What happens when you don't get what you want
Wow, the universal question. The question that often determines how happy our lives are. Different people deal with it differently, and very often, depending on how they deal with it, they lead wonderful or miserable lives all the same.

So what do you do when things don't go your way. It could be your UNI applications not working out the way you planned, or your relationship crumbling, or your simple anxiety on what to do with your life. What do you do when things seem to fall apart, and when stuff you ve hoped in SO much just breaks down after one conversation or after one letter. What happens when your home, as a concept, is desecrated and you find yourself running away. What happens when, overcome by guilt, you wallow in ur predicament and cry yourself to sleep every night for almost half a year. What happens when you feel so insecure, you hide from people. What happens when you cannot go home, but if you don't, you re trapped in a military camp. What happens when you injure yourself, and lose your self esteem. What happens when people tell you you re not good enough. what happens when you tell yourself you re not good enough. what happens when people just let you down. what Happens when there is really really no one left, who cares or knows what you re going through. what happens when you tell yourself no one cares.What happens when you couldnt care to explain stuff to the few people who cared, cos its too complicated. What happens when you feel so ashamed and guilty of something you ve done that you hide from people and convince yourself that you re gonna have to go away to another land. What happens when you ponder suicide, like for real. what happens when u ponder suicide and then acknowledge that you arent brave enough to end it, thereby completely leavin you solutionless. What happens and where do you go?

What would you do, when you ve hurt people so deeply, that they would be scarred for life.
What would you do when you feel theres no way out of the shite thats piling on.
what would you do when you find that nothing you re doing is gonna help you.
what would you do when someone you loved so much doesnt feel the same way, and you just feel like your heart was ripped out and trampled on
what would you do when you decided that you couldnt face the world or move on
what would you do when you realised you are truly a good for nothing
what would you do when you realised you are achievement-less
what would you do when you realised that you have nothing going for you.
what would you do when you realised that you club,smoke, drink and indulge ur lust almost daily.
what would you do when you ve found that you are slave to so many things, including ur prisoning desires.
what would you do when everyone else around you seems to have it better, or IS better than you.
what would you do when everything you apply for rejects you and tells you that you re stupid
what would you do if even the people you thought would believe in you tell you your limits

Well, idunno about you but, about a year ago, Itried this one way after exhuasting every other, and its been amazing.
Ask me about it please, i m dying to tell you!! I REALLY AM DYING TO TELL YOU. like...i m exploding here."