euphoria

so many hours of study put into this subject.

entrepreneurial finance... over! oh the elation

that's 1/2 the exams gone.

-----

they were going to kill her? oh how could they do that? to someone so beautiful
"how do I get to the courts?" I kept shouting to my friend
I needed to get there, to see her one last time...

thank god, I did. an embrace. a farewell. an exchange of words.
"I love you and goodbye"
she gave me her final possessions before departing forever:
3 $100 dollar notes
1 $10 note
2 handphones
1 note

she is gone, and I will never see her again

studying?

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55% of plepoe can

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but teh wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if y ou can raed tihs forwrad it.

we need people

'are you hot?'
I'll always ask Matt whenever I'm sitting with him, and he'll always give an answer in relation to meteorological factors forgetting that the ques also poses a double meaning along the egoistic side. Well, its good fun and everyone ends up laughing in the end.
other more crude questions include "do you like sax?" [-a-phone] or "where's your g-string?" [when one is playing a guitar]

but tonight, he asked me the same thing, flipping the question around:
Matthew says:
you know how your fav phrase is are you hot? it gets me thinking are you hot for someone...
jem says:
huh? why r u thinking so deep?
jem says:
ok wait. matt = hot...but, -1 for being accountant (nerd), -1 for being pastor's son, -1 for wearing glasses, -1 for not being able to touch toes, -1 for thinking too deep.
jem says:
thus, matt = nerd
...
...
...
jem says:
well, your ques was am i hot for someone?
jem says:
i like to say im hot for God, but assignments and now study seems to just take my mind off him alot and just seem so stuck into it
Matthew says:
what a wise answer

and with that, he continued on and gave me a great deal of encouragement.
...
...
Matthew says:
its easy to get engrossed in other stuff that just crowds God out of it
Matthew says:
me included
Matthew says:
taht's why we need to fellowship with other faithfilled bros and sisters! cause iron sharpens iron

at the moment, I'm at zero passion and my mind is just racing, always worrying about circumstances.
but in the words of Matt "why go it alone when God has given you friends to help you thru"

how true.

defeat

stayed up till 3am to do an assignment- thought I take a quick 1.5hr nap before waking up for the euro finals, but I never heard the alarm go off (must've been too tired). CRAPPPP.
missed the match live ! what kind of fan am I.

so what did I do?
basically shut myself out from the world. covered my ears every time I heard something about the game. didnt go on the internet (only UNI email). didnt touch the tele... till it was time for the 2nd telecast to be screened.

gosh, we lost. I only knew the pain 10hours later.

--
exams are coming up, please pray for me.

the last monday of 7hr non-stop classes

and with that, the last monday of the sem is over. The last time I'll go for a monday packed with 7 hours of classes non-stop (10-5pm) and getting finance bashed. As for meals, managed to squeeze sushi and doughnuts into e 15min lect intervals, so it was pretty good fun, but tiring nonetheless, when the day's finally over.

week 12 already!!!!
gosh... flying.

and 10 more days to official winter. sigh, The weather's just took a turn the past week from beautiful sunny to harsh cold. I don't like winter. Freeze

being Christian

on thurs, I saved this girl on the tram- she was beside me and we were both standing when suddenly the tram just jerked to a halt (wat lousy driver). she lost her balance and fell. As she was falling, I stuck out my arms and she fell right on them! so I caught her and brought her up nicely. Score.

need to RemembeR

downgraded my plan from $33 to $29 (which gives me only $24 call credit)
makes my call fees rise by 0.1cents
got 100 free SMSes
got roll-over
got $8 extra credit (which gives a total call credit of $32)

credits get spent first, then the rollover then the extra credits.
if I need to terminate the plan, I will have to downgrade the number from a plan to a prepaid
or I could transfer ownership to anyone else. RREMEMBERR


was preparing for bible study on Friday until that optus lady barged into my life with a call to address my expiring plan- that stripped off a cool 1/2 an hour.

preparing for bible study is like research. quite fun at times. It makes it easier that my cell follows a biblestudy guide (albeit a crappy one accordin to my boss, ahahaha), that the leader can follow to lead the discussion.
"Who is in control", "Why does God allow suffering", "Why do the wicked prosper". Gosh, the more I delve into the topic, the more insight I get, asking more questions. Anticipating a bible/discussion bashing session. I'm sure of this, cos I Do Not have all the answers...
Look God, at the end of the day, you're DA Man. nothing changes that.

NO sleep

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I couldn't sleep last night! ! !
watched 'the machinist' and it made me toss in bed all night, gripped in fear and thoughts.
oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.
its one of those those disturbing thriller movies, very similar to fight club (or 'the number 23', if you've watched it recently). how one man's insomnia and guilt warps reality... makes everything so creepy
I found it so friggin disturbing!!

thank God I wasn't a goner when I went to church this morning (in the show, the guy didn't sleep for 1 whole year, is that even possible man)

but Christian Bale is seriously da man. He lost soo much weight just for that role in the film (like 62 pound loss to 121 pounds) and had to gain it back in a couple of months to get the part of Batman. what an insane actor.

anyways, its another monday tomorrow and once again, DECLARING it a VICTORIOUS week in God.

machinist... gosh
peace OUT

bashed ;|

3 hours of Entrepreneurial finance = uni bashed, its no wonder i find mondays so hard
(mondays = slam day, understanddd??)

oh man, did i make a mistake?? EntrepFinance is friggin hard.

amazing grace

"My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace"

thank you God!!
for grace and saving one so undeserving
help me to love You more.
I declare another victorious week ahead in your name, striving to just live it for You

Lionel Messi ! ! !

Barcelona 2-0 Getafe Messi Goal
Uploaded by chalermwech

He wants my all...

how much do you love Me? The answer must be ALL
Love me with ALL of you.
Cleansing me once again- a new creation, the old has gone. Remember this when turning to the old ways. You're a NEW creation, the old is GONE.
Love me with ALL

He speaks.

off color

came home from church today and simply crashed... total blackout!
really, really hoped that I didn't screw up drumming- that we managed to facilitate God's people into worship, cos at the end of the day...

sigh, I pray once again, asking God to draw me closer to Him... always drawing me to Him
found a song:
"here in your courts
where I'm close to your throne
I've found where I belong"
there's no where else I want to be.
I LOVE you God, I LOVE you God, I love you God. teach me to LOVE you even MORE.

...
felt so angry w myself for cutting my hair... its so crap. Talking to Matt about my fuss, he told me to take comfort that he's bald...
Jem: do you wear a cap?
Matt: sometimes. mostly no.. i just wear my confidence.hahaha

booya

....
there's quite a number of assignments due this week. I'm especially worried about our presentation tomorrow... really hope my group does well. urgh, finance, I dread it, yet every year I choose to do it. It's a love-hate relationship
God, please help to in my work.

it's the second half of semester one, and in confidence, I proclaim it to be a GREAT period. He's with me, always.

sigh sigh

just the worst today....

zero love, zero passion just wont get me past a monday.
I need more!!!

why does it have to get dark so early
sigh sigh sigh

To live is Christ....


Never Give Up

God, please help me

No one, or nothing else can

gui ji

zen me yin cang wo de bei shang
shi qu ni de di fang
ni de fa xiang san de cong mang
wo yi jing gen bu shang

bi shang yan jing hai neng kan jian
ni li qu de hen ji
zai yue guang xia yi zhi zhao xun
na xiang nian de shen ying

ru guo shuo fen shou shi ku tong de qi dian
na zai zhong dian zhi qian wo yuan yi zai ai yi bian
xiang yao dui ni shuo de bu gan shuo de ai
hui bu hui you ren ke yi ming bai

wo hui fa zhe dai ran hou wang ji ni
jie zhe jin jin bi shang yan
xiang zhe na yi tian hui you ren dai ti
rang wo bu zai xiang nian ni
wo hui fa zhe dai ran hou wei wei xiao
jie zhe jin jin bi shang yan
you xiang le yi bian ni wen rou de lian
zai wo wang ji zhi qian

xin li de yan lei mo hu le shi xian
ni yi kuai kan bu jian

laugh out loud

I HAVE Internet!!!

no more late nights with my good fren the china man!

it came in a parcel... packaged. A gift from the God! (purposely left out the 's' although it sounds better with it)
yayyyy

I HAVE a landline!

...and soon to have ADSL connected at my home (oooh yea! x2)
its about time man, service in Australia Crawlss.

mondays are horrible- 7 hours of lessons non-stop. I've started lunching in the lecture hall itself. chomping on my sandwich in the midst of younger peers, I've realized how far I've come. Behold, I, an ancient dinosaur year 5 student! [yikes] getting old man...

Man, everyone's so hard working! I need to click into student mode.
... school's barely started and here I am thinking about easter, holidays and the trip to Sydney. urgh, slap. I think I've been in here for too long.

Update

uni's began, which is finally about time. My brain's in total chaos, studying once again will be a task. Well, the only hard subject looks like entrepreneurial finance which seems to have a fair bit of math, formulas, theories and number crunchin, but hey, I've been there, done that... Others like entrepreneurial ventures, product and brand management (a prev NUS lecturer) and HR management seem pretty alright.

I stayed till 12am at my fac on monday just to use the internet, which gives me nerd status already for being a rare breed of student who stays at uni till wee hours on the very first day of school. Other titles and expressions I got about this matter via msn were 'mad' 'crazy person' and 'what da heckkk???'.
a 2nd year dude who helped me setup my wireless connection whilst I was there was going like 'woah, don't worry, when I was in First Year, I was also very blur about this sorta thing, you'll get to know all these things after awhile... what year are you in by the way?' woah lao eh, dude, I'm like 5th year man, super old and veteran already. He must be like "what the heck?!?! this guy's 5th year and still so blur", but no, he's a china man, so that phrase will probably be in chinese: "na ge ren yi jing study 5 nian le, hai shi na me blur, shi zai wu yao ke qiu[fit any cheng yu here]"

sigh, I'll never be accustomed to live in 2 places. Its really really strange how I can leave Singapore feeling so SAD when I was like so keen to come back here in the first place. Leaving Melbourne to Singapore=SAD, leaving Singapore to Melbourne=SAD. arrrrrrrgggghhhh. why why why
only God can make sense of these sort of situations. I mean, as humans, its quite hard to understand why he allows us to disconnect with people at a time when we wish they'd be able to be with us. Be it going overseas, breakups, separation etc. But, He sees the bigger picture of it all. We may feel disheartened and sad about the situation, of course. It's only normal. But he wants us to put our faith on him, knowing that he'd guide us on to a brighter future, even though everything around seems bleak and somewhat impossible. Now this is the extra step we must take, on top of that sadness and separation. As I kept pursuing him in prayer, his assurance to me was found in Jeremiah 29:11. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." It's his promise to me now and I'll cling onto to it forever...

same story once again, I've been SICK and RECOVERING. usual usual usual!!! Always sick, and always in the midst of recovering, before getting into another virus attack yet again.

and I still do not have an internet connection...yet.

LAVINIA, COME TO MELBOURNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!