dreams

twice I've chased and desired so much...
each time you've made me forget and even drained out all the infatuating emotions I've stored within.
This time...
Will you score a hattrick?

"I think it's just an infatuation"
"But there're so many other girls, why can't I like any of them?"

wish it was that easy, but its always the hardest things yield the most rewards in the end right?
I know you will supply.

Being sick sucks, when I look around at the other fellas, my natural fitness falls so short.

Jeremy Neo
Humanitarian, Social entrepreneur

no hits, all misses

I really love you guys. Family + you guys = my family

姚. says:
i know!
姚. says:
we seriously need to keep in touch after
姚. says:
i'm having the best time EVER in nsc
jeremy says:
yea, our group was the best
jeremy says:
dont know if working will ever be like that manz
俊礼. says:
let's start a company tgt
俊礼. says:
lol =D
jeremy says:
HAHAHA, with our culture
jeremy says:
we may go
jeremy says:
bust

mark lee, I'm gonna miss you man
and...

I miss you even more-
shouldnt be so gloomy though, at least, I had a chance to meet you. Thank God for the opportunity. It just raw emotion, but I really can't control it. How did you captivate me so very much? You caught me the first time we met.
When you like her, you can't help it. Even if you try to control or withhold, that attraction spills out from your very inner being. I keep scolding myself for having such feelings, but... what else can I do. Is there a ALT F4 button that I can simply press to dispel it all?
*smack smack smack, whack up friend.
"Actually she's not very pretty, you can get better"
"If I can have someone like her, I'll be super contented already"

All those glances, and all those smiles and harmless greetings were... exhilarating.

resolution for the week:

I will guard my mouth, and the words that come out of it.
I will give my speech some thought before lashing out meaningless banter.
I will speak only words to edify, and not harm.
for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.

Matthew 12:34-37
A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things.
But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.

The crux of living one's life:

Ecclesiastes 12:13-14
Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.
For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.

granturismo

I love you.
absolute thing of beauty, I've never felt so much exhilaration going down at top speeds in a sports engine.




jilted. its so painful.

overflow

please come back to me... i miss you so much
this is my cry, that i could just be with you.
stay, right beside me.
I'll keep you safe,
I promise

Phillipians 4:19

All My Needs
"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:19

I believe this verse is one of the most doubted verses in the Bible for Christians today. You show what you believe by what you do. Belief inspires action. If you believe God supplies all your needs, you will depend on him; if you do not believe that God supplies all your needs, then you will seek to supply your own needs. Belief inspires action.

I know that until I leave my fathers home, I can depend on being able to eat here. I know that the need of my stomach will be filled with groceries from this house as long as I live here. My action based on that belief is that I will eat here and not worry about it. If I was worried about it constantly, I would be showing my belief that my father was not sufficient in providing groceries by going out of the way to provide for myself.

I see people on a regular basis acting as though God does not see their needs, when the truth is, their "needs" are not what God sees as needs, but wants. Why does our lack of faith take over a situation that is simply God's job? Why do we act as though the need is not going to be supplied by our heavenly father? If my earthly father is faithful in supplying earthly needs to me, how much more is my heavenly father capable of supplying my needs? Not only does he supply my needs, he has an advanced knowledge of my grocery list! I do not even need to tell him what I need for him to know. He already does. Before I even ask for it, he is preparing to provide it.

Are his riches in glory ever going to be insufficient? Will he bounce the check of heaven on my little problems? There is no way, and it would be mad to suggest it! However, modern Christianity lives in an independent lifestyle that seeks a faithless provision to our needs by seeking to meet them through fleshly means. Do you realize that Satan is waiting for your independence from God's way so he can attack you with vices that you alone cannot handle?
Your self-dependent attitude makes you completely vulnerable to situations that only the power of God can help you through! Do not become self-sufficient and self-dependent, thinking that you can somehow manage this Christian life without the help of Christ, who was the ultimate example. Do not think that you can live a supernatural Christian life, following his steps, without Christ' power. That is simply mad!!

So that brings me to the point of this post.

Let God supply your needs. I am in a situation right now that requires ultimate dependence on God. I have no control, and therefore I am naming and claiming Phillipians 4:19. I need him to supply the need. I could make a knee-jerk decision to try to handle it myself, but that will only make matters worse. I need to depend on God!

Do you need money? Does God know that? Of course he does!! What doesn't he know? The answer is not to take matters into your own hands! If you're right with the Lord, pray and ask God to take control, admitting your incapability to handle the situation.

Now, God is not a bell-hop either! God does not watch his children muddle around and mess up a situation, only to run and bail them out when they realize what a mess they've made. If you have not honored God, do not expect him to save you from the consequences of your sin. That is not what is being written about in this post! I am talking about you being in situations that you cannot control and allowing God to do his job as your father.

Do you need a husband or wife? Who would know best when and who you need? Of course, God would!! If God knows best when you need to be married, and he knows best who you need to marry, shouldn't you just claim the promise of Phillipians 4:19 that God will supply that need?
When it's time, God will give you who you need, when you need them. And trust me, he knows best. I believe that. I personally have asked God to pick me out a wife! I'm not smart enough to know how to do that, and so God is in charge of it. He is well able!!

If I believe that promise, why should I try to "help" God out by taking steps outside of his guidance? Why would I flirt with someone, knowing that God has a very special young lady that he has chosen for me? Why would you? Is God not able? If he is able, and he has not given you direction on it, then you should not be meddling; it is obviously not the right time!

The best part is, when God supplies, you know it was God! When my financial situation pans out just fine, I know who to thank! "Thank you, Lord, for your help!"
And when God puts his approval on Miss Wonderful and says, "Psst! She's it!" I'll know it's God's doing. Because, after all, isn't it he that supplies these needs?

It's as simple as this: Let God be God! Let God supply your needs! He's surely worth trusting.
(stolen from some person's blog)

Riddles

Psalm 51
For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.
1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.

4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.

5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts [a] ;
you teach [b] me wisdom in the inmost place.

7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.

14 Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

15 O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.

16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

17 The sacrifices of God are [c] a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.

18 In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;
build up the walls of Jerusalem.

19 Then there will be righteous sacrifices,
whole burnt offerings to delight you;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.


What a sad day.
Leaving.
Midnight football.
Darkness.
It's over

Good job Jeremy

I like bridges... alot alot. I dont know why.

I can run. I did it today!!

thanks

my blog: a place to rant, an outlet for emotional words and unlimited squirming opportunities where I would otherwise not express in the physical world.
I realise whenever I post stuff in a frequent manner, its due to both boredom and being emo charged.

so far, there hasnt been a string of posts, so that's really good.
It's really been that good.
This post isn't about any rants or complaints, nor will I throw anger or sadness in.

Its all about... gratitude
I haven't said told you how thankful I am to You for awhile, haven't I?

For all the joys
For my job and a totally unique experience in the army
For favor
For friends
For giving me the best boss ever
For the 8-5
For the chance to sleep on my own bed every night
For family
For material wealth
for everything

For the weekends
for the chance to freely express Christianity
For ALWAYS coming through for me
Thanks

For all the crap I have done,
for totally shortchanging you,
for sinning,
yet your love and favor still shines upon me.

Thank you so much

Regards
3SG Jeremy Neo
Ops Spec, NSC
HQ Guards
(work e-signature)

new hope community services

new hope? I got no hope, can you give me some hope?
-donator on the street

flag day was really fun, and meaningful. I felt tired, but happy. Really, I didnt expect much from it, just answered the call to help. It's hard not to respond to it, for me, that is.

back to life in mono... here it comes again. I can't wait for another break in june. I hope to be filled up, with meaning.

you fill up my senses, la la la la...

at Home...

but feeling so sick.
so many nights with no sleep... I feel absolute shit.

really really really really hate that man. He is pure evil. I wish he'd just die.
screw this whole week man.

------------



----------

lament

looking ahead, life seems a blur, an uncertain path, and it leaves me feeling... fearful. well, at times. I'm quite scared, when there's time to sit down and think, I feel fearful, always wondering, always reviewing: whether I'll make it through, whether everything will be ok. Weighing up all the possibilities, I scrutinize the various outcomes and calculate very closely the chances of the the best possible scenario happening. And then, I sweat over it, and pray for SALVATION... over the matter. Sometimes during these points, I wish I had a fast forward option, I could just glance ahead and know, ahhh, it turned out ok didn't it? Now why was I so fearful then. It was ok, all along, its always been fine...
can I just have some audible assurance... tell me right now, that everything will be ok.

if only...

[His ways are not our ways, but His way is always best]

however, there is much beauty in life that can be appreciated, if not for that fear stuck in my throat and guts, its very hampering. It is only when I am fearless once again, can life truly be lived.

hahaha, and YOU, what happened to temple building??

090409

One year on...

don't write me off just yet

1989

...kids... I used to think of them. Just a bunch of pple with such short thinking and narrow mindsets.

all just a bunch of kids I'm with...
yet, I've grown to actually like them- from my lil buddy and bro whom I actually cared and loved so much in bmt, to my fellow colleagues now in my branch. It's even amazing that out of us 4 specs, 3 are Christian... maybe He wanted to get me back on track, it was all going wrong.

for sure, army will bring out the worse in a person's character, and I've seen the worse in some, and they've prob also seen me bad. Christians fall, there aren't any saints. But at the end of the day, I hope I can grow to love the person more, and understand that it's the system that forces one to act in a way they would not usually act.

I've got a great boss.

one of them had asked me before- don't you feel childish being among us? They see the degree as the separation point- you've been there done that. what else is there to achieve?
what else?
relationships.

maybe... just maybe, I may get something very valuable out of this stupid army time.
I may get friends, and people I actually know and love.

and no, I actually don't feel childish being amongst you all.
and, I actually find the wrestles, tussles, tau poks and fights in the office quite... exhilarating
and, finally, it's all good
cos I look your age too :)

But this is a place where I feel so far away. I can't deny that.
I've realised, that I'm not the knight, or zealot that I wished I was, or painted myself to be.
See, I've learnt. ;)

HE Never fails

The Call of Abram

¹ The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you.

² "I will make you into a great nation
and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
and you will be a blessing.

³ I will bless those who bless you,
and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
will be blessed through you."

⁴ So Abram left, as the LORD had told him; and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he set out from Haran. ⁵ He took his wife Sarai, his nephew Lot, all the possessions they had accumulated and the people they had acquired in Haran, and they set out for the land of Canaan, and they arrived there.

⁶ Abram traveled through the land as far as the site of the great tree of Moreh at Shechem. At that time the Canaanites were in the land. ⁷ The LORD appeared to Abram and said, "To your offspring I will give this land." So he built an altar there to the LORD, who had appeared to him.

⁸ From there he went on toward the hills east of Bethel and pitched his tent, with Bethel on the west and Ai on the east. There he built an altar to the LORD and called on the name of the LORD. ⁹ Then Abram set out and continued toward the Negev.

-------------

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things (Philippians 4:6-8 NKJV).

----

pierced by the things that may happen tomorrow, scared of the future.
'Will I make it out alive??'
I am always fearful.

But creator God has never failed me. I look back and see so many promises, desires fulfilled, blessings bestowed... why would He ever fail? He has promised assurance. Yet sometimes this assurance can always be clouded out, when drowned into the circumstances, hassles and worries of the world.

smite

it prob means nothing, how can my pain be compared to many others out there who'er REALLY suffering. mine is nothing compared to theirs, it prob isn't classified as pain on their terms. its really nothing i count for nothing. Laugh it off man, its not even pain. no sweat.

todayIfell

...first sign of fever after 1.5+ yrs
does depression, sadness and negativity cause the physical mind to be sick? question will and resolve.

"You'er... Ho Kua Bo Ho Jia"
-Dad
SO TRUE

what is my point

...and so ensues the ongoing lament

why do I exist

people base their value on their assets, their jobs, their financial muscle, their looks, their charisma, their influence, their popularity, their god...
I know I know, God is my centre and I should find joy and contentment there

maybe its all head knowledge, because my heart is sin, whacked up and full of crap.
I deserve to just die.

sorry.

how can I even be of good, when I don't even believe in myself.

over a year on...

------

I am now updating this blog because a certain aunty says that its growing cobwebs. Well, not literally... so I guess its cyber cobwebs right? But ehhhh, arent all blogs 'webby' since they'er all on the world wide WEB. That means every WEBsite has a SPIDER in it! Oh no that's dangerous man- we should always have (cyber) insect repellents everytime we surf the interNET huh?

A Public Apology

SORRRRRRYYY!!!!!!!!