I've got NO internet

for now....

currently at ICT bulding (my faculty), leeching off its wireless connection. It's getting late... won't be long now... before the security dude's gonna chase me out.

oh, Hello world, I'm fine!! sorry Sa TAN, I'll overcome.

Weather's been hot, I've got diahorrea and sore throat. I think it was frm yesterday's food at the dodgy footscray road stalls.
It was great though, there was still the feel of CNY festvity at the fair, despite leaving home.

when going down, its the people around you that bring you back up. Thanks so much.

couple more days...

soon, I'll be leaving again...

irrational hopelessness.
some fear.
clinging to the past as one does not dare face the future.

please help me to psych my body up into a proactive mode. I need that push, that extra thrust... my energy levels are far too low.

packing early is never possible. My room's in a state of chaos. Objects everywhere, all waiting to be attended to.

but hey, I've done this so many times already.



CNY was so late this year! Thank God I'm always around for it. It was great. I Love my cousins. Now to get my hands on those family photos...

Are you ready?

1 more week... its almost time
don't worry, I have super healing powers (or not)

the holidays have basically flown by once again, with too much relaxation + too little brain + physical activities. Yes, it's a good time for 1 more year of studies...

that calls for adjustments once again. adaptation. There is a need for stability, after living a nomad's life for far too long. Too many changed venues and relationships. Stop.

it's when you're in-between that tears. Advice was to decide on one and commit to it. I think I never did. But it brought me to this point: that both I love. But in doing so, I became a ghost, never material in one.

I hate the voices in my head. I hate that lethargy. But I'm gonna miss alot too. There was never a need to fight inner demons, when you have the fellowship of people that edify.

am I ready?

relationships

when meeting a Christian, a fellow brother or sister, we Edify.
when meeting a non-believer, one who doesn't know salvation, we Evangelize.
simple.
...
and welcome Faith to my blog!! thanks for agreeing to redesign this boring site. lol
...
oh, and Singapore just beat Thailand 2-1. What a great penalty!!!! I came back in time to see the Thai team protest and sulk at the ref. They were even about to leave the pitch! where's the sportsmanship man

above life

O God, be Thou exalted over my possessions. Nothing of earth's treasures shall seem dear unto me if only Thou art glorified in my life. Be Thou exalted over my friendships. I am determined that Thou shall be above all, though I must stand deserted and alone in the midst of the earth. Be Thou exalted above my comforts. Though it mean the loss of bodily comforts and the carrying of heavy crosses, I shall keep my vow made this day before Thee. Be Thou exalted over my reputation. Make me ambitious to please Thee even if as a result I must sink into obscurity and my name be forgotten as a dream. Rise, O Lord, into Thy proper place of honour, above my ambitions, above my likes and dislikes, above my family, my health and even my life itself. Let me decrease that Thou mayest increase; let me sink that Thou mayest rise above. Ride forth upon me as Thou didst ride into Jerusalem mounted upon the humble little beast, a colt, the foal of an ass, and let me hear the children cry to Thee, 'Hosanna in the highest.' (The Pursuit of God)

same story

reading my blog posts from last year's holidays, I realised that my last summer holiday was no different from this one: I got sick, it rained, and I'm slacking alot.

(excerpt)
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
my summer break is a time of relaxation- of rest and reflection. No work, no hard duties. I get to do whatever I want! I have no obligations- nothing to prove.
isnt it paradise? isn't this a break that many will crave to go through?

Strange, I still feel a sense of discomfort and dissatisfaction. Somtimes happiness will just leave me as I suddenly feel depression approaching. Random thoughts flood my brain as I simply brush the current train of thought[not that they're crucial stuff anyway] aside. Truly, I sometimes find my mind drifting away into randomness. My thoughts sum to nothing- No value added.

They say that an idle mind is a devil's workshop. Is that what my mind is going to be?
paradise seems to have its own serpents after all.
aimlessness... gets you lost in the emptiness of the world.
(end)

scary man, and prior to that, I was sick too!!!! wow, blog posts do help you recount your life. useful useful :D
(still reading previous blog posts)
woah, I realised that both the summers of '06 and '07 are so similar in experience- sickness + boredom depression + Rainnn, except that this year's version of sicknesses and rain are more intensified that the last.

well, as of now, I should be better (crossing fingers) after taking so much medicine.
and the rain, well I can't control that.

gotta enjoy this break period!!!!!
it's my last summer holiday anyway... one more year of uni life, [urgh] just when I got the hang of it! I really do take longer to adapt than most people, that's why I'm not a very good international student. You MUST be able to adapt because everything around you WILL change. Acceptance just comes too slowly to me... by the time I click into motion, when I'm all ready to deal with a problem, I get unplugged and face another issue. Read my very first post. I'm a resident alien, the world is enemy.

a survey

10 favourites

colour: red

food: bbq stingray

song:

movie:

sport: football

season: post-spring

day: Holi-day

ice cream: ferrero rocher

book: our daily bread

stuff toy: magnetic lion

current mood: happy

clothes: Giordano (budget la!)

desktop: ???

toenail colour: natural

time: 10.14 p.m. (current time?)

annoyance: scaring people

thought:

boyfriend: (s), u mean

book you are reading: Bible

firsts

daddy: stupid question

best friend: dude called tze aung

crush: girl(s) on TV

movie: THAT SHOW I WATCHED WITH MATT, the title’s just eluding me now

piercing: when I fell down I pierced my skin

lie: ??

music: ??

car: ???

handphone: alcatel

last
cigarette: 2002

drink: water

car ride: today

last crush:

movie seen: ju hua bing (Golden Flower)

phone call:

CD played: jars of clay

have i ever..dated my bestfriend: no

broken the law: yes

arrested: no

skinny-dipped: no

been on tv: yes, if camcorder counts

kissed someone you dunno: no

5 things you are wearing:

4 things you have done today:

4 things you can hear now:

3 things you cant live without: water, food, shelter

1 thing i regret:

shit, I give up doing this

post mission trip, (recovered!)

mission trip was great, albeit a little tiring.
in fact, it was so tiring that it drained all the energy and food (don't ask how) out of me.

nonetheless, I will look back at it with fond memories and a remember a Christmas well spent (even though it was my first time spending it away from home).
Lav said that she could feel warmth and love all around, as if one was amongst family. I think she's right
I'll always remember in my mind, a mental picture of all the youths sitting on the hotel lobby (7th floor!!!) spending Christmas by singing carols and exchanging gifts, basically having a blast.

21

When you were born, God said "yes,"
yes to all you are and to all that you can be
by His grace, His mercy and His love.
He loved you at that very moment
without condition or reservation.
There is nothing you can do to earn that love,
and nothing you fail to do will lessen that love.
The coming year is a new opportunity
for you to discover more of the height, the breadth,
the length and the depth of that incredible love.
-Roy Lessin

He saves

a really good friend has told me to write...
[ok]

It's gonna be a letter of thanks and gratitude... He rescued me
----


well, I slept at 4am this morning. It was horrible, I've never done that in such a long time and I'm feeling so terrible now. All that toiling. Its so stressful when you're staring ahead at two really major assignments due at the end of this week. Really really stressful... all these deadlines and overdrives.
this boy just couldn't take it

One of the assignment was an essay worth 50%(!) of the subject, and I was nowhere near completion of that. Although it's safe to say that I've more or less finished the other one (it's due tomorrow so I sure as heck should've finished it).
But this particular assignment... eludes me so badly. I'm totally clueless on that topic. It's just so hard, to me. Issit because it's worth 50%? or issit because I'm just not used to doing freakin arts, reflective, idea, type of essays.
oh, the pressure, the pressure. For this assignment, the words just don't flow. Nothing springs out. Blank. My mind just couldn't do it, and as I keep hitting my head, frustration seeps in, making the situation worse. Just clueless... I was blacking out, quite literally.
this boy just couldn't take it

This was where God came in. the one who's never failed.
he rescued me...

[continuing]
last night was so futile... I went to bed feeling so down. Just sitting on the desk reading articles and trying to come up with a plan is already painstakingly impossible. What more the actual thing? urghh... I shudder to think about it.

waking up wasn't any better. so much to do. I still had to contend with all the work. Deadline's looming. I'm nowhere near completion... [help]

however, by evening today, things just took a turn for good... oh the thrill, his rescue...

I think submitting an essay plan to my lecturer was one of the best decisions made this week. Before yesterday, had a course mate not told me that how she got really good advice from the lecturer by submitting her plan, I wouldn't even have thought of doing that.
Through the toils of last night, I had carved out a plan, a pathetic plan, but a plan nonetheless. Emailing it to my lecturer, I got a reply that very evening.

... fantastic, I just don't know what to say:
Hello jeremy, You've analysed all the terms admirably, but you're still quite far from an essay... blah blah blah... I think you're going to need an extension so I will set 22/9 as your new submession date
[I'm so amazed]
truly, thank you so much God.
you rescued me.

hi

nothing much, just writing for the sake of having contents (in july)
goodbye july, see you next year.

Australia Vs Japan

What a GAME!!

despite the chilly winds of this freezing winter season, we [mai kee, michael, kent and I], (4 crazy boys) were out at the fed. square with a whole aussie mob to catch the world cup clash between japan and the socceroos on the big screen.

and boy did the match NOT disappoint!! it was awesome. The whole atmosphere was great- right from the start when I saw red flares (for the first time) being lit all throughout the crowd and streamers flying everywhere. gosh, I thought this only happens in the san siro.
but the stage was set, it just needed an aussie victory...

as the match went on, with japan going 1-up through a controversial goal, it started to look like the game was going to be a party pooper. you could feel the crowd losing its vibrance and it actually started to get colder...

but no, Aus fought, and they came back!!! in the the final third of the game cahill came on and suddenly, GOAL!!!!
the whole crowd erupted into euphoria and once again, flares were being lit all over the place.

I remember when the goal was scored, all of us were just going absolutely maddddd! especially mai kee and michael, who were jumping like wild boys, and in the process, unknowingly heading towards some dodgy dude who had a broken flare in his hand. He was literally trying to break it open as everyone was celebrating, (and the two mikes were jumping towards him, obviously oblivious to the danger.)

after that goal, aus scored another 2. That really made the experience at fed square amazing. it was awesome to be amongst the mob celebrations, especially when the goals came.

after the match, flinders street became a party ground. The roads were shut off and people took to the streets to celebrate.

what can I say, it was an experience.

Australia Vs Japan

4 boys, 1 big screen, a soccer match, in the freezing winter...

urban lights are fading in my eyes...

...as I've been fighting hard to keep myself awake all day.
it's holland's game in the world cup tonight, but I'm so stuffed now.

last night was a blast. I watched 'the omen' and the world cup matches on tv straight after that. the 5 of us came to church looking all... [I'll use the same word cos I can't think] Stuffed

man, I feel so sorry for the kid who played the mini anti-christ in that omen movie. sad boy, sad boy. Imagine being remembered as the devil's child for the most part of your fledgling life....ouchh

but anyhow, it was really funny (in the movie), seeing kent all wrapped up in his jacket throughout the show (especially the tense scenes!) and michael sutanto curling himself into a ball the during last part of the movie. If you were there you'd be laughing at them too. hilarious man, I just couldn't stop. (made it even funnier as kent was taunting me as a chicken prior to the show)

I wish i could've taken photos!!!!

sadly, I couldn't confirm whether mai kee screams like a girl though.
but after the show, he[mai kee] kept trying to scare us throughout the night with those random 'boos', although none of them seemed to work. oh, he did manage to frighten the nam loong girl (although unintentionally). So that doesnt count mai kee! man, he even resorted to switching off toilet lights when people were peeing.
note to self, mai kee needs retribution for all those nonsensical acts.

the soccer matches were disappointing, in the sense that there were no goals. Again, Kent was all wrapped up [in dunas] but this time it was because he was tired.
I learnt that Stomping a guy who was too lazy to fight back was fun!
I think I was the last to sleep.
mai kee snores.
I got a 'sheet' to cover myself whilst everyone had Warm dunas (thanks guys)
yea, I was the last to sleep.
everyone had nice Warm dunas
I had a sheet
but when I finally did shut down, I slept like a log.
even with a sheet
alarms don't wake me.
I slept the winter night with a Sheet.

everyone woke up claiming that they were sweating under the Warm dunas.
I woke up a frozen skeleton.
I only got a duna when it was 9.30am and time to go.
thanks guys.

And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.

And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.

truck art

really cool, these are in fact 2d inprints made to look 3d

I shouldn't be blogging

monday - Drowning in the information overload and not comprehending a single thing (spent the whole afternoon staring at a financial swaps slide w/o understanding it)

tuesday - On a roll. Alot of things I didn't know suddenly just dawned upon me

wednesday - the roll continued... until dawn came, when I started losing concentration

thursday - plot lost. Spent the whole afternoon attending consultation lectures and couldnt click into the study mode when I got back

friday - tried to get into the swing of things but suddenly everything seems hard again

saturday - today! oh no. Help

sunday - (will suddenly turn genius)

monday - (genius level will be extraordinary)

tuesday - (I blitz the exams)

----
I look to the left of my study and see photos: Pictures of family, friends, happy times and fond memories. It's my wonderwall. Thanks for being my encouragement during this exam period!

you learn something new each day...

Recent conversation (with the zheng-master):

ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
heeeeeey

ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
nani

jem says:
heyy zheng

ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
is that u

ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
witha a towel

jem says:
yea yea, hahaha.

ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
no wait

ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
a sleeping bag

ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
lol

jem says:
sleeping

jem says:
*peace

ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
u sleep like a log

ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
lol

jem says:
who's rofl?

jem says:
your dog?

ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
acronym

ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
lol = laught out loud

ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
Rofl = rolling on floor laughing

jem says:
HAHAHAHAHA, oh oh, i thought rofl was like your dog who found plans in the laundry.

ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
lmao = laughing my ass off

ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
lol

jem says:
*embarrassed

ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
Roflmao = rolling on floor laughing my ass off

ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
lol

--------------
End of Transcript

wow, now we all know what 'rofl' is....
and as zheng mentioned, you can even add combos to turn 'rofl' into 'roflmao' which gives it the added 'my ass off'.
smarrrrrrt ...

now to learn something about information systems architecture (isa) or international finance (if)
*rofc!!



*roll on the floor crying

loving the acronyms


by the way (btw),
"ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ "
looking at this context, rofl does kindda sound like a dog dont u agree?

humiliation

blasted by a bus driver for trying to ask him to change my dollar note for a ticket. What the heck, he gives me a lecture on how the rules have changed and bus drivers are now not allowed to change money for customers. Before I could explain that the machine in the bus station was spoilt + the conductor didnt have enough change (one who cared bollocks) and there wasnt a single person around, he simply cut me off and yelled his rights and my wrongdoings.

he said that the bus was under surveillance and everything that's happening is being recorded and that he'll give it to the head office which'll remember my face and put it on the state registry so that they'll remember me and be able make sure I do not do this again. He also cautioned me about my speech (because everything that is said in the conversation is being recorded) and mind you till that point I hadn't really been chanced to even say a thing:
"sorry about that but..." (no chance for my explainations)
"but I couldnt do anything about it" (he starts implying that I'm now blaming him)
"I'm really not trying...[to do anything criminal here]" (couldnt even finish that sentence)

as he kept rolling about how the entire situation was due to my irresponsibility and he had nothing do do with it, I felt utterly helpless. If there was a time I really needed someone's help so badly, that was it.
Finally, I looked desperately at him and asked what I could do about the situation now (nxt bus is in an hr's time).
he simply gave a look of utter disregard and said that he'd change my note this time. after handing my my ticket, he went on to look at the surveillance camera and started going like 'INCIDENT AT 12.05PM... PASSENGER...', as though my actions were crininal.

at that point I felt like crap. tried to force a smile and show that I was somehow really really thankful that he could transact the $20 note for a ticket and $15 dollars change (oh by the way, he had a little cashier beside him filled with cash, and when I looked at it initially, he goes like 'oh don't you go all big-eyed looking at that cash because it none of your business...'

right, when I finally sat down on the bus I felt like the worse human ever alive. I was utterly humiliated and really just so down.
I just want to say that through this whole incident, I didn't raise my voice nor did a single curse word come out of me. I was standing there getting slaughtered as passengers watched the spectacle unfold.
but since this is my space and my outlet to finally let my feelings out, I'd like to say that I feel the whole treatment I received was unfair, harsh and wasnt justified at all.

I wanted to pay for a ticket.
I had a note and no alternatives to change it.
I couldnt explain my situation.
I got blasted.

I would definitely keep this experience in mind so that I myself would not do this unto someone else.

oh yes, I've also lost my fringe today. (I know, what a sad day. lol)
when I said to keep the front 'over the eyebrows', it doesnt mean like short hair right? I mean, short means' under the eyebrows' isnt it. oh man, what a horrific outcome a single slit can make!
I don't know, but I guess there's always the good ol cap to wear when everything's in a mess.

well, thanks bus driver, I'll definitely learn to treat people better than how you treat them

"I love the Lord, and if Loving the Lord is wrong, then I don't wanna be right!"

assignments and presentation all looming at the corner.
beyond that lies the massive exams (have like 2 papers in a day!)