Saturday, January 14, 2006

am sick Part II

ok, I'm still sick. Recovery hasnt fully arrived yet.
The feeling's horrible. My body has been breaking cold sweat throughout the hours and my mind continues to drift in and out of conciousness. Wearing a pullover in sunny Singapore is just insane. I never thought I'd be dressed the way I am right now in my homeland.
The feeling of a flu is really bad- its just depressing to describe it. Inflammed muscles cause so much suffering just getting from point a to b, and as your mind drifts, so does mood. Unhappiness floods a sick person. I feel so damned.

Then again, only by falling ill will one start appreciating life as a 'healthy' person. By healthy I mean having an able and well body.
Sure, healthy people do have their own 'sicknesses' to combat: Discontent, depression, routines and self-esteem issues. But as I stand here with a broken body, I cannot stop recalling how wonderful it was to be well. The 'sicknesses' of a healthy person suddenly seem insignificant. Human nature- we always wish for one state better than what we are currently at.
Pause.
I'll learn to appreciate life.

Friday, January 13, 2006

am sick

I am sick. Chilli otaks, chilli stringrays and chilli sauces have finally succeeded in taking me out. My body's natural defences have finally succumbed to that powerful chilli onslaught I have allowed to invade my system.

amazing, how i so easily got seduced by the wonderful otak aroma, that I ordered 6 burning hot pieces.
I live to regret my unwise actions.

Sickness made yesterday a trance to me. Everything seemed so blurry. The night was such a restless one. Yet there is no other choice but to endure...

On a brighter note, I feel so much better now.
Renewal has come.
I am amazed at the resilience of the human body.


Liverpool have signed Danish defender Daniel Aggar. The new signing is expected to provide competition for current centre backs Jamie Carragher and Sami Hypia.
Jan Kromkamp has also been signed a few days ago to provide cover for right back Steve Finnan.
We traded Josemi for Kromkamp. Which is really good. I guess any player is better than Josemi.
Well, we've already signed two new players. They seem good enough to provide the cover we need for defence. Our current back four looks pretty compact and solid, though at times we have to forgive Hypia for his occasional concentration lapses and as long as Traore doesnt play we're fine.
I hope the gaffer manages to get acquire a proven right winger within the next few days.
This club is on the rise, whether you like it or not.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

my summer break is a time of relaxation- of rest and reflection. No work, no hard duties. I get to do whatever I want! I have no obligations- nothing to prove.
isnt it paradise? isn't this a break that many will crave to go through?

Strange, I still feel a sense of discomfort and dissatisfaction. Somtimes happiness will just leave me as I suddenly feel depression approaching. Random thoughts flood my brain as I simply brush the current train of thought[not that they're crucial stuff anyway] aside. Truly, I sometimes find my mind drifting away into randomness. My thoughts sum to nothing- No value added.

They say that an idle mind is a devil's workshop. Is that what my mind is going to be?
paradise seems to have its own serpents after all.
aimlessness... gets you lost in the emptiness of the world.

drift drift

wokeupbathedBreakfastfamilythennauseousrestedtook
walkscomputermademeevenmoresicktriedtofindtheCatcycledthen
walkedsomemoremingledwiththecousinswatchedtelevisionanothe

rwalkdinnerfellowshipelizebethtownfeltnumbcomputer

Monday, January 09, 2006

The rain has been falling relentlessly for the past two days already- its scaring me. I don’t know why but downpours always hold such negative vibes.
Thank goodness for cars.

I need a massage.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Second Post

Saturday...
Not even Sunday but I've already engaged in 2 bible discussions @ church.Awesome, the stuff I learnt today:

During music practice we had discussion on 1 Corinthians Chapter 7 of the bible- concerning marriage and celibacy. It was really awesome how the one point just screamed such an impression upon me- that you are complete in Christ, and the notion of a significant other to complete you is utter 'wrongness'. wow! I thought as I inhaled this new found 'revelation'- a simple idea that fired me up. Somehow, throughout my young adult life (20 is old by the way), I've always been trying to reach out to find that special girl of my dreams. The girl that would complete me. My life would be alright, the moment she came into my life. I've always yearned for that someone who would understand me, who would just stick with me through the storms of life.
But today, I reckon, God figuratively stopped me as I was chasing this 'dream girl' conception and told me "Hey now, what makes you think you're complete just because of some chick you fancy?" That utopian idea of 2 humans with full understanding and complete devotion to one another is indeed, quite far-fetched. How often do you see quarrels and struggles even in the most loving of marriages. Men, are still bound by the flesh. We sin. A successful companionship requires a bond that is supernatural. A form of love so strong that it trancends and accepts the imperfections of the other party. That form of love is indeed a gift...
But back to the main point... Truly, I have come to see that he[God] is really all I need for completeness. His way, his will is what's gonna make me feel fulfilled and satisfied, nothing else can. And if he allows that a certain someone to enter your life, then it is a gift... but as you remain single, do not intently search for dream chicks and attend matchmaking sessions, as they may just hinder and distract you from handling the important matters that you are to achieve.

Again, I feel encouraged, although I may still take time to shrug off girl interests (we are but men after all). Now lets talk about the girl of my dreams.... [censored]

Later that evening, I listened to yet another encouraging talk given during youth service. 'Come and Go', shall be the title of that message. Anyhow, that was food for thought from the stuff I have heard today.

Well, it looks as if I have spent the whole of Saturday at church- not trying to appear holy or anything. Looking at the clock, its... Sunday, wow, church again.

1 2 3...
1 2 3...

The almighty Liverpool is taking on some team named Luton. They stand no chance, we will own them.

What else is there to babble about?

oh yes, I aspire to make this blog uber cool (How?),
no no no,
I aspire to be drum master!

now Goodnight...

Friday, January 06, 2006

Test

Test Test Test...

Well Hello World, this blogger stuff is pretty new to me....
Why did I start it?
That I'm not sure, the intentions are blurry. But I shall strive to make this a wonderful page that holds the memories of Jeremy Neo- RESIDENT ALIEN, (me).

Resident Alien, a really cool oxymoron I picked up. It sounds very appropriate in many contexts. For example, being an international student, my life now is based in both Singapore and Melbourne. I am a Resident in those lands but feel like an Alien on either. The path of an international student its seems, makes one's agenda very temporary- as soon as you feel settled at one place, time calls you to pack up and head for the other. A nomad's life. It has been so for the past 4 years and will probably continue so in the next couple or so. Everything seems superficial- the facades, the false fronts you have to put up all the time in order to adapt to the ever changing lifestyles. I am temporary, I am formless. I feel treated so lightly and frivolously by people. I can't blame them, with my agenda being so volatile, there's no way any serious relationships can be easily forged. Anyhow, it is a lifestyle I have to put up with, even if it means shedding a couple of tears here and there. Unfortunately, that void of loneliness will never forsake me...

But in another context, a resident alien also can refer to the many Christians who are currently alive on this earth. Christians I feel, will never be truly happy here on earth- there's a yearning inside us for something more. Again, a void that will never be satisfied. The world and all its riches and splendor will not fill that emptiness. We know that there's something greater installed for us- we need the ultimate fellowship with God. Only then we will feel complete. Thus, being bound to this world as long as our spirits dwell in fleshly bodies, we know that although we reside on earth, we are still aliens. Heaven, as we call it, is truly home and until we reach it, Residents Aliens we will be on this earth...

I guess that's enough talk of Aliens and Residents- two words that are worlds apart. Any further eleboration and this article will suddenly turn into a sermon wannabe.

What do people write for their first article, I do not know. Introductions? Opening statements? intents and visions? That'll probably require a whole load of space I reckon. I dont suppose many people will bother to read those sorta stuff...
But yes, 06/01/06 shall be the day this site is created. Whether this site will be sustained or not, only time will tell. Beautiful date by the way, I just noticed it.

Anyhow, it is now the summer holidays for dudes like me studying down under @ Melbourne. Alas, it looks like my holidays seem to be flying so fast! December has just passed in a blink of an eye. Activities at that period seem to all revolve around church. I look ahead at the one and a half plus more months and seem to have no plans for the future. Short-sighted planning I reckon. Initial plans to try relieve teaching have been scrapped as I didnt take any initiative to follow up on the phone calls.

Its quite sad to say that this year I'll take on the title of a 4th year commerce and info systems student. 4th year! That just sounds wicked! Friends who've been with me in Melbourne are all graduating and enlisting this year into the army- except me! Two more years to go... I'm getting old! God please light my path...

But then again, he's never left my side.
He's always been with me... havent you God?