...from You leaving me this way
---
true strength does not come out of bravado. Until we are broken, our life will be self-centered, self-reliant; our strength will be our own. So long as you think you are really something in and of yourself, what will you need God for?
to do for yourself the best that you have it in you to do—to grit your teeth and clench your fists in order to survive the world at its harshest and worst—is, by that very act, to be unable to let something be done for you and in you that is more wonderful still. The trouble with steeling yourself against the harshness of reality is that the same steel that secures your life against being destroyed secures your life also against being opened up and transformed. (The Sacred Journey)
where a man's wound is that is where his genius will be
-John Eldredge
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
sanctuary
---
last week was super good, I got to go out with dora, uncle anthony and lala to celebrate their birthdays. Even managed to see avonne off thanks to one fast driving john chee in a subaru.
Sunday, September 07, 2008
my soul now to stand
now this blog is starting to become muddled with one liner posts and small chunks of sentences that seem to speak in riddle. maybe that's a reflection of my internal state right now- chaos. The past few days have been super (and that's as good a word I can muster), since I've spammed all of my 'off in-lieus' at one go to create such a blissful weekend.
during this time, I got a chance to see all the people I've known and loved and actually spend time to talk to them, loosen up. Awesome stuff.
miss you Bell, I know you'll read this and I just replied your email so don't scold me the next time we chat online, which will be really soon yah. Final year sux but hey man, look at the past 2 years- you've come so far already :D
miss you Matt (ma-te-uuu accordin to chinese tutor language), glad you 'rediscovered my blog and maybe you'd read this again some time. Singapore flyer was an awesome time together with Sam and Joel. Truly a time off to see Singapore from a perspective again that's beautiful, and i didnt just mean the view...
real Christians, real People [quote learned from Campus Crusade, Metamorphosis 2007]
there's no such thing as a conversation in real life that's like that of the movies and there'll always be the imperfections in relationships. And there are in fact many people or Christians who are trying to live that on-screen style perfect life, where everything is always perfect, the happiness is always high, the mood is always good, the grass is always green, pitch perfect, clean language, non-smoking zones, doing church week in week out. Anything less then that is regarded with disdain. But is that what it really means to live life? Look around you and you'll see so many people who are really, broken. Where do they stand? If you want to keep that perfect life, where will these people get their help from? Be real.
----
Merely to override a human will (as His felt presence in any but the most faint and mitigated degree would certainly do) would be for Him useless. He cannot ravish. He can only woo. ... He is prepared to do a little overriding at the beginning. He will set them off with communications of His presence which, though faint, seem great to them, with emotional sweetness, and easy conquest over temptation. But He never allows this state of affairs to last long. Sooner or later He withdraws, if not in fact, at least from their conscious experience, all those supports and incentives. He leaves the creature to stand up on its own legs - to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. It is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be. Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please Him best. ... He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there, He is pleased even with their stumbles. Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy's will, looks around upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.
- The Screwtape Letters, by C.S Lewis
during this time, I got a chance to see all the people I've known and loved and actually spend time to talk to them, loosen up. Awesome stuff.
miss you Bell, I know you'll read this and I just replied your email so don't scold me the next time we chat online, which will be really soon yah. Final year sux but hey man, look at the past 2 years- you've come so far already :D
miss you Matt (ma-te-uuu accordin to chinese tutor language), glad you 'rediscovered my blog and maybe you'd read this again some time. Singapore flyer was an awesome time together with Sam and Joel. Truly a time off to see Singapore from a perspective again that's beautiful, and i didnt just mean the view...
real Christians, real People [quote learned from Campus Crusade, Metamorphosis 2007]
there's no such thing as a conversation in real life that's like that of the movies and there'll always be the imperfections in relationships. And there are in fact many people or Christians who are trying to live that on-screen style perfect life, where everything is always perfect, the happiness is always high, the mood is always good, the grass is always green, pitch perfect, clean language, non-smoking zones, doing church week in week out. Anything less then that is regarded with disdain. But is that what it really means to live life? Look around you and you'll see so many people who are really, broken. Where do they stand? If you want to keep that perfect life, where will these people get their help from? Be real.
----
Merely to override a human will (as His felt presence in any but the most faint and mitigated degree would certainly do) would be for Him useless. He cannot ravish. He can only woo. ... He is prepared to do a little overriding at the beginning. He will set them off with communications of His presence which, though faint, seem great to them, with emotional sweetness, and easy conquest over temptation. But He never allows this state of affairs to last long. Sooner or later He withdraws, if not in fact, at least from their conscious experience, all those supports and incentives. He leaves the creature to stand up on its own legs - to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. It is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be. Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please Him best. ... He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there, He is pleased even with their stumbles. Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy's will, looks around upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.
- The Screwtape Letters, by C.S Lewis
Sunday, August 10, 2008
numb
I don't know me anymore...
why do I feel so meaningless? what have I become- rewired to fear and submission
no joy, just bleakness.
one deep breath, as I continue the plunge.
descend...
why do I feel nothing anymore
let my honor be upheld through these times
no lies...
why do I feel so meaningless? what have I become- rewired to fear and submission
no joy, just bleakness.
one deep breath, as I continue the plunge.
descend...
why do I feel nothing anymore
let my honor be upheld through these times
no lies...
Monday, June 16, 2008
my best
The time that I have left
is all I have of worth
I lay it at Your feet, Lord
It's less than You deserve
And though I've little strength
And though my days are few,
You gave Your life for me
So, I will live my life for You
I haven't seen her in ages, she took so good care of me before.
but today when I saw her, I couldn't even remember her name. We talked briefly and caught up for awhile.
before she left, her embrace said it all. I felt total warmth and that love she always gives.
is all I have of worth
I lay it at Your feet, Lord
It's less than You deserve
And though I've little strength
And though my days are few,
You gave Your life for me
So, I will live my life for You
I haven't seen her in ages, she took so good care of me before.
but today when I saw her, I couldn't even remember her name. We talked briefly and caught up for awhile.
before she left, her embrace said it all. I felt total warmth and that love she always gives.
Friday, June 13, 2008
on this island I promise to build Your temple...
...was it good enough?
I will learn from this
Regina Spektor - The Call
this song springs up at the last part of Narnia and is also the best part of the movie- why? because it shows the 4 kids having to leave... forsake a life of greatness and kingship, to accept going back into a world where they are lowly, to accept going back into a life of drudgery again- From kings to a mere highschool students. It is a big fall.
yet, they still do it, after talking to the lion. Isn't it what gave them the conviction to go back? The talk with Jesus, as He tells you that it is best to step off that great life that you're living and so comfortable with, where everything is for you... to step off and take the plunge into that unknown passageway that leads into a life that's not very appealing.
I have to plunge into something I dread. But He knows what is best.
walking into a rich house, seeing the sports cars and the many, many other well-priced cars... they could build so many churches with those things! They could've used it for a greater, far more worthwhile cause.
if i can't be a missionary, let me be a martyr
I will become even more undignified than this.
I will learn from this
Regina Spektor - The Call
this song springs up at the last part of Narnia and is also the best part of the movie- why? because it shows the 4 kids having to leave... forsake a life of greatness and kingship, to accept going back into a world where they are lowly, to accept going back into a life of drudgery again- From kings to a mere highschool students. It is a big fall.
yet, they still do it, after talking to the lion. Isn't it what gave them the conviction to go back? The talk with Jesus, as He tells you that it is best to step off that great life that you're living and so comfortable with, where everything is for you... to step off and take the plunge into that unknown passageway that leads into a life that's not very appealing.
I have to plunge into something I dread. But He knows what is best.
walking into a rich house, seeing the sports cars and the many, many other well-priced cars... they could build so many churches with those things! They could've used it for a greater, far more worthwhile cause.
if i can't be a missionary, let me be a martyr
I will become even more undignified than this.
Sunday, June 08, 2008
botak is temporary, handsome is forever...
the saying amongst the bald men who live on the island.
Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God.
no matter what, I want to be able to say this confidently too.
...temple building is hard work.
Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God.
no matter what, I want to be able to say this confidently too.
...temple building is hard work.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
tears
what have i done
they all hate me now...
how did it end up like this
to feel wrath from one is bad enough
but to feel the wrath of so many people
gut wrenching
how now?
how can a rejected person be used?
are You still with me
they all hate me now...
how did it end up like this
to feel wrath from one is bad enough
but to feel the wrath of so many people
gut wrenching
how now?
how can a rejected person be used?
are You still with me
Monday, May 19, 2008
there is pleasure in watching pain
I have survived the jungles!! but this week holds another outfield visit- 3 days, 2 nights (sit test). Please keep this super unsoldier fella in prayer.
help me to to be a 'human being' rather than a 'human doing'- always trying to justify my worth with power and actions. It is only by your enabling that I will be able to do so and rise above it all. I have tried to hard to be a Christian, but have I been trying as hard to pursue and chase Your very heart at this point? Out of the wreckage I will rise. Inspired to live simply knowing that I'm held in Your love and that's all that matters.
will miss you loads...
Saturday, May 10, 2008
struck down, not destroyed
pain. am currently limping. I have sprained my ankle from jumping off the ramp during soc. I need to be well before going outfield.
outfield outfield. this is it... 6 days in the jungles. God, when I go into the jungle, help to to be rambo.
outfield outfield. this is it... 6 days in the jungles. God, when I go into the jungle, help to to be rambo.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
on jacob's ladder I plant a cross
starting small...
I've managed to gather 3 other Christian bros within my platoon to form a lil prayer grp. Please pray that for us, that we'll be able to meet up to share, confide and keep each other strong in prayer as we draw close to God during a time where circumstances and emotions scream against Him.
the next 2 weeks are quite tiring and probably gonna be the toughest time yet- this week is live range (which may not sound that bad) and after that is 6 days out in the jungles (which sounds really bad). Please pray for me, for I am still dealing pretty badly with the HOT weather- My last outfield trip was a disaster cos I actually blacked out and had to be taken to rest. (honestly, that was the scariest moment in my army experience so far) I am going to need His strength and favor.
I know I know He won't fail me.
God will not allow you to go through something greater than what you can handle. My bro told me this, that if He has allowed you to go into the jungles, then surely, He has given you sufficient grace to get through it. I'm clinging onto Him.
now off I go again... If you're a civilian and reading this, please... send encouragements, send updates [on your civilian lives], send hope, send prayers, for I am in need of much uplifting. thanks.
when Jesus was on the cross, He lost everything, but Jesus was not lost.
let it be so, that whilst people scream for success, for the spotlight, for the intent of being seen, I'll do likewise. In everything I do, I stand for Him. I'll follow the Son. It is easy to write this, but how easy it is when one is at total fatigue, when every part of you is destroyed, when your mind and your actual body movements actually show a momentary lag... now then, let actions speak louder than words.
I've managed to gather 3 other Christian bros within my platoon to form a lil prayer grp. Please pray that for us, that we'll be able to meet up to share, confide and keep each other strong in prayer as we draw close to God during a time where circumstances and emotions scream against Him.
the next 2 weeks are quite tiring and probably gonna be the toughest time yet- this week is live range (which may not sound that bad) and after that is 6 days out in the jungles (which sounds really bad). Please pray for me, for I am still dealing pretty badly with the HOT weather- My last outfield trip was a disaster cos I actually blacked out and had to be taken to rest. (honestly, that was the scariest moment in my army experience so far) I am going to need His strength and favor.
I know I know He won't fail me.
God will not allow you to go through something greater than what you can handle. My bro told me this, that if He has allowed you to go into the jungles, then surely, He has given you sufficient grace to get through it. I'm clinging onto Him.
now off I go again... If you're a civilian and reading this, please... send encouragements, send updates [on your civilian lives], send hope, send prayers, for I am in need of much uplifting. thanks.
when Jesus was on the cross, He lost everything, but Jesus was not lost.
let it be so, that whilst people scream for success, for the spotlight, for the intent of being seen, I'll do likewise. In everything I do, I stand for Him. I'll follow the Son. It is easy to write this, but how easy it is when one is at total fatigue, when every part of you is destroyed, when your mind and your actual body movements actually show a momentary lag... now then, let actions speak louder than words.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
don't fail me now my lady
Psalm 34
1 I will extol the LORD at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
2 My soul will boast in the LORD;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
3 Glorify the LORD with me;
let us exalt his name together.
4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
5 Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
6 This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.
7 The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.
8 Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
9 Fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him lack nothing.
10 The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.
11 Come, my children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
12 Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,
13 keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from speaking lies.
14 Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.
15 The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their cry;
16 the face of the LORD is against those who do evil,
to cut off the memory of them from the earth.
17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
19 A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all;
20 he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.
21 Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
22 The LORD redeems his servants;
no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.
1 I will extol the LORD at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
2 My soul will boast in the LORD;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
3 Glorify the LORD with me;
let us exalt his name together.
4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
5 Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
6 This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.
7 The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.
8 Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
9 Fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him lack nothing.
10 The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.
11 Come, my children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
12 Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,
13 keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from speaking lies.
14 Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.
15 The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their cry;
16 the face of the LORD is against those who do evil,
to cut off the memory of them from the earth.
17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
19 A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all;
20 he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.
21 Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
22 The LORD redeems his servants;
no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
falling...
Falling is the first thing I feel.
Distant voices echo inside my head.
Their orders are clear,and yet all I can think about is the others.
Remiel
Uriel
Amitiel
Ithuriel
Raphael
Michael
Each one traveled the same path.
What was their fate?
What awaits me on the other side?
They have gone to a place where the light is cursed and darkness blinds the soul.
This is a place where even angels fear to tread.
Forgive me.
Distant voices echo inside my head.
Their orders are clear,and yet all I can think about is the others.
Remiel
Uriel
Amitiel
Ithuriel
Raphael
Michael
Each one traveled the same path.
What was their fate?
What awaits me on the other side?
They have gone to a place where the light is cursed and darkness blinds the soul.
This is a place where even angels fear to tread.
Forgive me.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
close my eyes...
remember no cries, just mental pictures of happy times.
the ascension to a higher plane...
3 months of dwelling there ...
blissfulness…
but it is now time to come down…
to step back into the valleys of life
the last 2 weeks...oh I should’ve already been in the army by then, but what a turnaround- despondency turned to joy as I had been given the chance to complete bible school properly. How I fought so hard just to get those last 14 days. You may ask… was it worthwhile?
most definitely!
I have experienced the 3 months in Full, and now, I go on to the next phase of life knowing God has blessed and built me during that time in preparation to move on. I will be fully equipped and ready for what He'll lead me to next.
------
where I go, no one will follow. I go it alone.
where I go seems all bleak and hazy, and no one will come with me
metaphorically, I feel like I’m plunging into an abyss.
With eyes shut and my entire state being filled with fear and uncertainly, I take the jump, hoping that He’ll catch me when I fall, because at this point, I don’t know how else I will be delivered.
filled with frailties and negativity, I’ll jump, placing trust in strength and optimism that is not from me.
where I go, you don’t follow.
If I be broken, let your prayers engulf me.
the ascension to a higher plane...
3 months of dwelling there ...
blissfulness…
but it is now time to come down…
to step back into the valleys of life
the last 2 weeks...oh I should’ve already been in the army by then, but what a turnaround- despondency turned to joy as I had been given the chance to complete bible school properly. How I fought so hard just to get those last 14 days. You may ask… was it worthwhile?
most definitely!
I have experienced the 3 months in Full, and now, I go on to the next phase of life knowing God has blessed and built me during that time in preparation to move on. I will be fully equipped and ready for what He'll lead me to next.
------
where I go, no one will follow. I go it alone.
where I go seems all bleak and hazy, and no one will come with me
metaphorically, I feel like I’m plunging into an abyss.
With eyes shut and my entire state being filled with fear and uncertainly, I take the jump, hoping that He’ll catch me when I fall, because at this point, I don’t know how else I will be delivered.
filled with frailties and negativity, I’ll jump, placing trust in strength and optimism that is not from me.
where I go, you don’t follow.
If I be broken, let your prayers engulf me.
Saturday, March 08, 2008
eternity
oh its been so long.
my last post was meant to give glory to God for my exam results. I think I have failed to glorify Him as much as I could have, shortchanging what He's given me in the process. What an ungrateful being I can sometimes be... shouldn't I have been so compelled to just shout for joy and praise God in worship. He deserved so much more.
snippets of thoughts a couple of days of arrival back home:
hi, its me. i'm back in SIN. am I ready for the next phase of life? mentally, I doubt it. There is the little part of my mind, just somehow creating a wild hope, a little spark that does not refuse to carry on. As if I'm still a student, telling my entire self that, i'd still somehow return to melbourne. that part of me is strong... it manifests itself in my habits, like im still refusing to unpack my stuff, as if i'd only be around for a little while, before flying off again.
the silent depression and tears in my heart. only that no one knows how i feel. All the sighs when i'm moving around. no, it doesnt mean that i'm sad to be around family and friends, but i just really miss my previous life. A resident alien? i have grown accustomed to both the lands. Mastery of cross culture. both have become my homegrounds. I have to choose... do i already know my choice?
Goodbye,
SIGH
i look ahead once again towards a new phase in life, and honestly, I feel so afraid and uncertain.... but faith does not go by feelings. and that the important thing is who i am in God, and not what i will become
currently, feelings... overwhelmed
friends... miss them so much
future... bleak
weather... not helping
give me the strength to soldier on...
I know his blessings have been upon me, it always has. I am aware of it all the time... let my expression manifest it
....
its been so many 3 mths already. How time flies.
God is amazing
my last post was meant to give glory to God for my exam results. I think I have failed to glorify Him as much as I could have, shortchanging what He's given me in the process. What an ungrateful being I can sometimes be... shouldn't I have been so compelled to just shout for joy and praise God in worship. He deserved so much more.
snippets of thoughts a couple of days of arrival back home:
hi, its me. i'm back in SIN. am I ready for the next phase of life? mentally, I doubt it. There is the little part of my mind, just somehow creating a wild hope, a little spark that does not refuse to carry on. As if I'm still a student, telling my entire self that, i'd still somehow return to melbourne. that part of me is strong... it manifests itself in my habits, like im still refusing to unpack my stuff, as if i'd only be around for a little while, before flying off again.
the silent depression and tears in my heart. only that no one knows how i feel. All the sighs when i'm moving around. no, it doesnt mean that i'm sad to be around family and friends, but i just really miss my previous life. A resident alien? i have grown accustomed to both the lands. Mastery of cross culture. both have become my homegrounds. I have to choose... do i already know my choice?
Goodbye,
SIGH
i look ahead once again towards a new phase in life, and honestly, I feel so afraid and uncertain.... but faith does not go by feelings. and that the important thing is who i am in God, and not what i will become
currently, feelings... overwhelmed
friends... miss them so much
future... bleak
weather... not helping
give me the strength to soldier on...
I know his blessings have been upon me, it always has. I am aware of it all the time... let my expression manifest it
....
its been so many 3 mths already. How time flies.
God is amazing
Friday, December 07, 2007
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
this time Jesus ...
...how can I be sure I will not lose my follow through between the altar and the door
how come the sudden interest? I was never in your group anyway. Where did the kindness come from? You used to scorn people like me. You actually treat people like dirt. I remember my friends, you weren't one of them.
how come the sudden interest? I was never in your group anyway. Where did the kindness come from? You used to scorn people like me. You actually treat people like dirt. I remember my friends, you weren't one of them.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
pain...
“True love is when you have to watch a friend leave, with the knowledge that you might never see him again. But you know he'll be in your mind and heart forever.”
Bell, I miss you
Bell, I miss you
Monday, November 12, 2007
break my heart for what breaks yours...
everything I am for your kingdom's cause
I wish... that time would just stand still, that everything remains as it is, just for now. stay. stay the same and let nothing change.
its ironic isn't it, I'm suffering at this very instance, yet I don't want time to go on.
on a more practical sense, I guess I do need more hours to study.
worries worries worries. 'I guess I'm a worrier, that's why my friends call me whiskers...'
am I alright? what will happen? will it work out? will I pass? success? are my needs met? is there love? and joy? is the best behind me? do I go it alone...?
I'm not feeling it. rise me above the storm, above life, where I can see from a holistic picture. just to know...
but is there any good in knowing?
did I really mean it when I wrote first line...
it all seems so contradictory.
I have professed so much in words, but have my actions backed them up? or is it just a case of not doing what you preach.
exam routines are great: breakfast at lunch and dinner at supper. sleep is weird. breaks are frequent. thoughts go haywire.
Praise Him.
I wish... that time would just stand still, that everything remains as it is, just for now. stay. stay the same and let nothing change.
its ironic isn't it, I'm suffering at this very instance, yet I don't want time to go on.
on a more practical sense, I guess I do need more hours to study.
worries worries worries. 'I guess I'm a worrier, that's why my friends call me whiskers...'
am I alright? what will happen? will it work out? will I pass? success? are my needs met? is there love? and joy? is the best behind me? do I go it alone...?
I'm not feeling it. rise me above the storm, above life, where I can see from a holistic picture. just to know...
but is there any good in knowing?
did I really mean it when I wrote first line...
it all seems so contradictory.
I have professed so much in words, but have my actions backed them up? or is it just a case of not doing what you preach.
exam routines are great: breakfast at lunch and dinner at supper. sleep is weird. breaks are frequent. thoughts go haywire.
Praise Him.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
let this post be an oct one
so ends uni and my final semester.
I wanted to write about what's been happening lately... and the events of october but unfortunately, the exams have arrived and I was too lazy prior to that to update the post. bugger.
Now, I write this in a state of tiredness and my mind refuses to remember anything eventful at all... not that my life hasnt been eventful, its been fantastic so far. Lovin it.
I guess I'm kindda sad at the revelation of a one final departure from Melbourne. I hate to say this, but this place has also become home to me. I mean, I literally grew through my entire youth here, from 16 to 22. Its become familiar, and the future... seems uncertain- What I do not know, I fear. Coming and going as an international student used to be really fearful, as one has to cope with changes and new experiences all the time. I used to be really really scared of that. Now, I'm leaving that stage, and moving on.
ayy. just as I've grown accustomed to taking on the persona of an international student, it is now time to move on. God's bringing me forward once again, to another uncharted chapter of life. But I know deep down, I am so much stronger than I used to be. The battle is all in the mind.
I feel so sad leaving friends here, especially my my brothers and sisters at church. Why God? why did you allow people to come into my life, only to separate and take them out of my life again. I love them God... deep down I already know the solution- He holds the answers.
love the pair of running shoes they bought for me. Its so sentimental now. In it, holds the power of my friends. I see their love. I see their investment in me. The power of my shoe will spur me on when I run. The power of my friends.
as I write this, it is the 11th of Nov. I've got 2 more papers this coming thurs and fri. I am Least prepared for those, as I've put so much effort into the first 2. scared and stressed. Just praying for divine intervention and blessings.
how come I don't feel at all excited about going home? (Lav, I know you're gonna hit me for saying that) How come I see the future and it looks so hazy. How come the outlook is so bleak. That was not what I had in mind when I first set off to study. The mindset has changed: what happened to the plan of just 'hanging in there' and holding out for the nxt couple of years for the sake of education? It's not like that anymore. I saw so much promise in home. where is that promise...
be positive.
I wanted to write about what's been happening lately... and the events of october but unfortunately, the exams have arrived and I was too lazy prior to that to update the post. bugger.
Now, I write this in a state of tiredness and my mind refuses to remember anything eventful at all... not that my life hasnt been eventful, its been fantastic so far. Lovin it.
I guess I'm kindda sad at the revelation of a one final departure from Melbourne. I hate to say this, but this place has also become home to me. I mean, I literally grew through my entire youth here, from 16 to 22. Its become familiar, and the future... seems uncertain- What I do not know, I fear. Coming and going as an international student used to be really fearful, as one has to cope with changes and new experiences all the time. I used to be really really scared of that. Now, I'm leaving that stage, and moving on.
ayy. just as I've grown accustomed to taking on the persona of an international student, it is now time to move on. God's bringing me forward once again, to another uncharted chapter of life. But I know deep down, I am so much stronger than I used to be. The battle is all in the mind.
I feel so sad leaving friends here, especially my my brothers and sisters at church. Why God? why did you allow people to come into my life, only to separate and take them out of my life again. I love them God... deep down I already know the solution- He holds the answers.
love the pair of running shoes they bought for me. Its so sentimental now. In it, holds the power of my friends. I see their love. I see their investment in me. The power of my shoe will spur me on when I run. The power of my friends.
as I write this, it is the 11th of Nov. I've got 2 more papers this coming thurs and fri. I am Least prepared for those, as I've put so much effort into the first 2. scared and stressed. Just praying for divine intervention and blessings.
how come I don't feel at all excited about going home? (Lav, I know you're gonna hit me for saying that) How come I see the future and it looks so hazy. How come the outlook is so bleak. That was not what I had in mind when I first set off to study. The mindset has changed: what happened to the plan of just 'hanging in there' and holding out for the nxt couple of years for the sake of education? It's not like that anymore. I saw so much promise in home. where is that promise...
be positive.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
1
didnt want to see her go
but it had to happen
but it shouldnt even be happening.
I am doing something so wrong.
but it had to happen
but it shouldnt even be happening.
I am doing something so wrong.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
rescue oh Lord, to think less of me, and more of You.
Search my O God and know my heart
Try me, and know my anxieties
And see if there is any wicked way in me
And lead me in the way everlasting
help me to worship and love you God, even if every ounce of my flash refuses to
I offer devotion. restore passion, restore my mind, to be compelled to reach out for you
Search my O God and know my heart
Try me, and know my anxieties
And see if there is any wicked way in me
And lead me in the way everlasting
help me to worship and love you God, even if every ounce of my flash refuses to
I offer devotion. restore passion, restore my mind, to be compelled to reach out for you
Monday, September 03, 2007
stone
sorry for being passionless. please help me in my life.
I'm held by You, only You. Nothing in this world is secure.
I'm held by You, only You. Nothing in this world is secure.
Saturday, September 01, 2007
till I see you face to face and grace amazing takes me home, I'll trust in you
need running shoes!
it might help me remember how to run
I can't run.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
reminiscing great times
I wanna go for another awesome Hillsong conference!!!!
Tuesday (video blog):
Wednesday (video blog):
Friday (whole conference highlight):
Chris Tomlin's 'How great is our God' after Louie Giglio's sermon:
Tuesday (video blog):
Wednesday (video blog):
Friday (whole conference highlight):
Chris Tomlin's 'How great is our God' after Louie Giglio's sermon:
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Sunday, June 17, 2007
All of the Above
Devotion - Hillsong United
I've been running, trying to be one who sees
I've been working, salvation out on my knees
There is nothing better than knowing
That we are redeemed
Unbelieving trusting in creative hands,
I am praying for our world to bow to your plan
And this one thought is unmistakable
I take up my cross and follow you Lord
When you stand the tall trees and mountains bow
When you speak the fiercest of oceans is still
And I see the sinner seek devotion
The lost become chosen, and I fall to my knees
I'm forgiven, my savior who did not deserve death
He was blameless and I was lost in shamefulness
I'm delivered, but it doesn't seem right
Unless I keep my eyes focused on the savior who gave his live
In the middle of a world that denies it believes
It is breaking apart at the very seams
There is one thing to be alive for
And it's to take up my cross and follow you Lord
I will take up my cross and follow Lord where you lead me
And I will take up my cross and follow wherever you go
----
music is so powerful
I've been running, trying to be one who sees
I've been working, salvation out on my knees
There is nothing better than knowing
That we are redeemed
Unbelieving trusting in creative hands,
I am praying for our world to bow to your plan
And this one thought is unmistakable
I take up my cross and follow you Lord
When you stand the tall trees and mountains bow
When you speak the fiercest of oceans is still
And I see the sinner seek devotion
The lost become chosen, and I fall to my knees
I'm forgiven, my savior who did not deserve death
He was blameless and I was lost in shamefulness
I'm delivered, but it doesn't seem right
Unless I keep my eyes focused on the savior who gave his live
In the middle of a world that denies it believes
It is breaking apart at the very seams
There is one thing to be alive for
And it's to take up my cross and follow you Lord
I will take up my cross and follow Lord where you lead me
And I will take up my cross and follow wherever you go
----
music is so powerful
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
euphoria
so many hours of study put into this subject.
entrepreneurial finance... over! oh the elation
that's 1/2 the exams gone.
-----
they were going to kill her? oh how could they do that? to someone so beautiful
"how do I get to the courts?" I kept shouting to my friend
I needed to get there, to see her one last time...
thank god, I did. an embrace. a farewell. an exchange of words.
"I love you and goodbye"
she gave me her final possessions before departing forever:
3 $100 dollar notes
1 $10 note
2 handphones
1 note
she is gone, and I will never see her again
entrepreneurial finance... over! oh the elation
that's 1/2 the exams gone.
-----
they were going to kill her? oh how could they do that? to someone so beautiful
"how do I get to the courts?" I kept shouting to my friend
I needed to get there, to see her one last time...
thank god, I did. an embrace. a farewell. an exchange of words.
"I love you and goodbye"
she gave me her final possessions before departing forever:
3 $100 dollar notes
1 $10 note
2 handphones
1 note
she is gone, and I will never see her again
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
studying?
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55% of plepoe can
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but teh wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if y ou can raed tihs forwrad it.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but teh wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if y ou can raed tihs forwrad it.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
we need people
'are you hot?'
I'll always ask Matt whenever I'm sitting with him, and he'll always give an answer in relation to meteorological factors forgetting that the ques also poses a double meaning along the egoistic side. Well, its good fun and everyone ends up laughing in the end.
other more crude questions include "do you like sax?" [-a-phone] or "where's your g-string?" [when one is playing a guitar]
but tonight, he asked me the same thing, flipping the question around:
Matthew says:
you know how your fav phrase is are you hot? it gets me thinking are you hot for someone...
jem says:
huh? why r u thinking so deep?
jem says:
ok wait. matt = hot...but, -1 for being accountant (nerd), -1 for being pastor's son, -1 for wearing glasses, -1 for not being able to touch toes, -1 for thinking too deep.
jem says:
thus, matt = nerd
...
...
...
jem says:
well, your ques was am i hot for someone?
jem says:
i like to say im hot for God, but assignments and now study seems to just take my mind off him alot and just seem so stuck into it
Matthew says:
what a wise answer
and with that, he continued on and gave me a great deal of encouragement.
...
...
Matthew says:
its easy to get engrossed in other stuff that just crowds God out of it
Matthew says:
me included
Matthew says:
taht's why we need to fellowship with other faithfilled bros and sisters! cause iron sharpens iron
at the moment, I'm at zero passion and my mind is just racing, always worrying about circumstances.
but in the words of Matt "why go it alone when God has given you friends to help you thru"
how true.
I'll always ask Matt whenever I'm sitting with him, and he'll always give an answer in relation to meteorological factors forgetting that the ques also poses a double meaning along the egoistic side. Well, its good fun and everyone ends up laughing in the end.
other more crude questions include "do you like sax?" [-a-phone] or "where's your g-string?" [when one is playing a guitar]
but tonight, he asked me the same thing, flipping the question around:
Matthew says:
you know how your fav phrase is are you hot? it gets me thinking are you hot for someone...
jem says:
huh? why r u thinking so deep?
jem says:
ok wait. matt = hot...but, -1 for being accountant (nerd), -1 for being pastor's son, -1 for wearing glasses, -1 for not being able to touch toes, -1 for thinking too deep.
jem says:
thus, matt = nerd
...
...
...
jem says:
well, your ques was am i hot for someone?
jem says:
i like to say im hot for God, but assignments and now study seems to just take my mind off him alot and just seem so stuck into it
Matthew says:
what a wise answer
and with that, he continued on and gave me a great deal of encouragement.
...
...
Matthew says:
its easy to get engrossed in other stuff that just crowds God out of it
Matthew says:
me included
Matthew says:
taht's why we need to fellowship with other faithfilled bros and sisters! cause iron sharpens iron
at the moment, I'm at zero passion and my mind is just racing, always worrying about circumstances.
but in the words of Matt "why go it alone when God has given you friends to help you thru"
how true.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
defeat
stayed up till 3am to do an assignment- thought I take a quick 1.5hr nap before waking up for the euro finals, but I never heard the alarm go off (must've been too tired). CRAPPPP.
missed the match live ! what kind of fan am I.
so what did I do?
basically shut myself out from the world. covered my ears every time I heard something about the game. didnt go on the internet (only UNI email). didnt touch the tele... till it was time for the 2nd telecast to be screened.
gosh, we lost. I only knew the pain 10hours later.
--
exams are coming up, please pray for me.
missed the match live ! what kind of fan am I.
so what did I do?
basically shut myself out from the world. covered my ears every time I heard something about the game. didnt go on the internet (only UNI email). didnt touch the tele... till it was time for the 2nd telecast to be screened.
gosh, we lost. I only knew the pain 10hours later.
--
exams are coming up, please pray for me.
Monday, May 21, 2007
the last monday of 7hr non-stop classes
and with that, the last monday of the sem is over. The last time I'll go for a monday packed with 7 hours of classes non-stop (10-5pm) and getting finance bashed. As for meals, managed to squeeze sushi and doughnuts into e 15min lect intervals, so it was pretty good fun, but tiring nonetheless, when the day's finally over.
week 12 already!!!!
gosh... flying.
and 10 more days to official winter. sigh, The weather's just took a turn the past week from beautiful sunny to harsh cold. I don't like winter. Freeze
week 12 already!!!!
gosh... flying.
and 10 more days to official winter. sigh, The weather's just took a turn the past week from beautiful sunny to harsh cold. I don't like winter. Freeze
Saturday, May 19, 2007
being Christian
on thurs, I saved this girl on the tram- she was beside me and we were both standing when suddenly the tram just jerked to a halt (wat lousy driver). she lost her balance and fell. As she was falling, I stuck out my arms and she fell right on them! so I caught her and brought her up nicely. Score.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
need to RemembeR
downgraded my plan from $33 to $29 (which gives me only $24 call credit)
makes my call fees rise by 0.1cents
got 100 free SMSes
got roll-over
got $8 extra credit (which gives a total call credit of $32)
credits get spent first, then the rollover then the extra credits.
if I need to terminate the plan, I will have to downgrade the number from a plan to a prepaid
or I could transfer ownership to anyone else. RREMEMBERR
was preparing for bible study on Friday until that optus lady barged into my life with a call to address my expiring plan- that stripped off a cool 1/2 an hour.
preparing for bible study is like research. quite fun at times. It makes it easier that my cell follows a biblestudy guide (albeit a crappy one accordin to my boss, ahahaha), that the leader can follow to lead the discussion.
"Who is in control", "Why does God allow suffering", "Why do the wicked prosper". Gosh, the more I delve into the topic, the more insight I get, asking more questions. Anticipating a bible/discussion bashing session. I'm sure of this, cos I Do Not have all the answers...
Look God, at the end of the day, you're DA Man. nothing changes that.
makes my call fees rise by 0.1cents
got 100 free SMSes
got roll-over
got $8 extra credit (which gives a total call credit of $32)
credits get spent first, then the rollover then the extra credits.
if I need to terminate the plan, I will have to downgrade the number from a plan to a prepaid
or I could transfer ownership to anyone else. RREMEMBERR
was preparing for bible study on Friday until that optus lady barged into my life with a call to address my expiring plan- that stripped off a cool 1/2 an hour.
preparing for bible study is like research. quite fun at times. It makes it easier that my cell follows a biblestudy guide (albeit a crappy one accordin to my boss, ahahaha), that the leader can follow to lead the discussion.
"Who is in control", "Why does God allow suffering", "Why do the wicked prosper". Gosh, the more I delve into the topic, the more insight I get, asking more questions. Anticipating a bible/discussion bashing session. I'm sure of this, cos I Do Not have all the answers...
Look God, at the end of the day, you're DA Man. nothing changes that.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
NO sleep
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I couldn't sleep last night! ! !
watched 'the machinist' and it made me toss in bed all night, gripped in fear and thoughts.
oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.
its one of those those disturbing thriller movies, very similar to fight club (or 'the number 23', if you've watched it recently). how one man's insomnia and guilt warps reality... makes everything so creepy
I found it so friggin disturbing!!
thank God I wasn't a goner when I went to church this morning (in the show, the guy didn't sleep for 1 whole year, is that even possible man)
but Christian Bale is seriously da man. He lost soo much weight just for that role in the film (like 62 pound loss to 121 pounds) and had to gain it back in a couple of months to get the part of Batman. what an insane actor.
anyways, its another monday tomorrow and once again, DECLARING it a VICTORIOUS week in God.
machinist... gosh
peace OUT
watched 'the machinist' and it made me toss in bed all night, gripped in fear and thoughts.
oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.
its one of those those disturbing thriller movies, very similar to fight club (or 'the number 23', if you've watched it recently). how one man's insomnia and guilt warps reality... makes everything so creepy
I found it so friggin disturbing!!
thank God I wasn't a goner when I went to church this morning (in the show, the guy didn't sleep for 1 whole year, is that even possible man)
but Christian Bale is seriously da man. He lost soo much weight just for that role in the film (like 62 pound loss to 121 pounds) and had to gain it back in a couple of months to get the part of Batman. what an insane actor.
anyways, its another monday tomorrow and once again, DECLARING it a VICTORIOUS week in God.
machinist... gosh
peace OUT
Monday, April 23, 2007
bashed ;|
3 hours of Entrepreneurial finance = uni bashed, its no wonder i find mondays so hard
(mondays = slam day, understanddd??)
oh man, did i make a mistake?? EntrepFinance is friggin hard.
(mondays = slam day, understanddd??)
oh man, did i make a mistake?? EntrepFinance is friggin hard.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
amazing grace
"My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace"
thank you God!!
for grace and saving one so undeserving
help me to love You more.
I declare another victorious week ahead in your name, striving to just live it for You
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace"
thank you God!!
for grace and saving one so undeserving
help me to love You more.
I declare another victorious week ahead in your name, striving to just live it for You
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
He wants my all...
how much do you love Me? The answer must be ALL
Love me with ALL of you.
Cleansing me once again- a new creation, the old has gone. Remember this when turning to the old ways. You're a NEW creation, the old is GONE.
Love me with ALL
He speaks.
Love me with ALL of you.
Cleansing me once again- a new creation, the old has gone. Remember this when turning to the old ways. You're a NEW creation, the old is GONE.
Love me with ALL
He speaks.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
off color
came home from church today and simply crashed... total blackout!
really, really hoped that I didn't screw up drumming- that we managed to facilitate God's people into worship, cos at the end of the day...
sigh, I pray once again, asking God to draw me closer to Him... always drawing me to Him
found a song:
"here in your courts
where I'm close to your throne
I've found where I belong"
there's no where else I want to be.
I LOVE you God, I LOVE you God, I love you God. teach me to LOVE you even MORE.
...
felt so angry w myself for cutting my hair... its so crap. Talking to Matt about my fuss, he told me to take comfort that he's bald...
Jem: do you wear a cap?
Matt: sometimes. mostly no.. i just wear my confidence.hahaha
booya
....
there's quite a number of assignments due this week. I'm especially worried about our presentation tomorrow... really hope my group does well. urgh, finance, I dread it, yet every year I choose to do it. It's a love-hate relationship
God, please help to in my work.
it's the second half of semester one, and in confidence, I proclaim it to be a GREAT period. He's with me, always.
really, really hoped that I didn't screw up drumming- that we managed to facilitate God's people into worship, cos at the end of the day...
sigh, I pray once again, asking God to draw me closer to Him... always drawing me to Him
found a song:
"here in your courts
where I'm close to your throne
I've found where I belong"
there's no where else I want to be.
I LOVE you God, I LOVE you God, I love you God. teach me to LOVE you even MORE.
...
felt so angry w myself for cutting my hair... its so crap. Talking to Matt about my fuss, he told me to take comfort that he's bald...
Jem: do you wear a cap?
Matt: sometimes. mostly no.. i just wear my confidence.hahaha
booya
....
there's quite a number of assignments due this week. I'm especially worried about our presentation tomorrow... really hope my group does well. urgh, finance, I dread it, yet every year I choose to do it. It's a love-hate relationship
God, please help to in my work.
it's the second half of semester one, and in confidence, I proclaim it to be a GREAT period. He's with me, always.
Monday, April 02, 2007
sigh sigh
just the worst today....
zero love, zero passion just wont get me past a monday.
I need more!!!
why does it have to get dark so early
sigh sigh sigh
To live is Christ....
Never Give Up
zero love, zero passion just wont get me past a monday.
I need more!!!
why does it have to get dark so early
sigh sigh sigh
To live is Christ....
Never Give Up
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Sunday, March 18, 2007
gui ji
zen me yin cang wo de bei shang
shi qu ni de di fang
ni de fa xiang san de cong mang
wo yi jing gen bu shang
bi shang yan jing hai neng kan jian
ni li qu de hen ji
zai yue guang xia yi zhi zhao xun
na xiang nian de shen ying
ru guo shuo fen shou shi ku tong de qi dian
na zai zhong dian zhi qian wo yuan yi zai ai yi bian
xiang yao dui ni shuo de bu gan shuo de ai
hui bu hui you ren ke yi ming bai
wo hui fa zhe dai ran hou wang ji ni
jie zhe jin jin bi shang yan
xiang zhe na yi tian hui you ren dai ti
rang wo bu zai xiang nian ni
wo hui fa zhe dai ran hou wei wei xiao
jie zhe jin jin bi shang yan
you xiang le yi bian ni wen rou de lian
zai wo wang ji zhi qian
xin li de yan lei mo hu le shi xian
ni yi kuai kan bu jian
shi qu ni de di fang
ni de fa xiang san de cong mang
wo yi jing gen bu shang
bi shang yan jing hai neng kan jian
ni li qu de hen ji
zai yue guang xia yi zhi zhao xun
na xiang nian de shen ying
ru guo shuo fen shou shi ku tong de qi dian
na zai zhong dian zhi qian wo yuan yi zai ai yi bian
xiang yao dui ni shuo de bu gan shuo de ai
hui bu hui you ren ke yi ming bai
wo hui fa zhe dai ran hou wang ji ni
jie zhe jin jin bi shang yan
xiang zhe na yi tian hui you ren dai ti
rang wo bu zai xiang nian ni
wo hui fa zhe dai ran hou wei wei xiao
jie zhe jin jin bi shang yan
you xiang le yi bian ni wen rou de lian
zai wo wang ji zhi qian
xin li de yan lei mo hu le shi xian
ni yi kuai kan bu jian
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
I HAVE Internet!!!
no more late nights with my good fren the china man!
it came in a parcel... packaged. A gift from the God! (purposely left out the 's' although it sounds better with it)
yayyyy
it came in a parcel... packaged. A gift from the God! (purposely left out the 's' although it sounds better with it)
yayyyy
Saturday, March 10, 2007
I HAVE a landline!
...and soon to have ADSL connected at my home (oooh yea! x2)
its about time man, service in Australia Crawlss.
mondays are horrible- 7 hours of lessons non-stop. I've started lunching in the lecture hall itself. chomping on my sandwich in the midst of younger peers, I've realized how far I've come. Behold, I, an ancient dinosaur year 5 student! [yikes] getting old man...
Man, everyone's so hard working! I need to click into student mode.
... school's barely started and here I am thinking about easter, holidays and the trip to Sydney. urgh, slap. I think I've been in here for too long.
its about time man, service in Australia Crawlss.
mondays are horrible- 7 hours of lessons non-stop. I've started lunching in the lecture hall itself. chomping on my sandwich in the midst of younger peers, I've realized how far I've come. Behold, I, an ancient dinosaur year 5 student! [yikes] getting old man...
Man, everyone's so hard working! I need to click into student mode.
... school's barely started and here I am thinking about easter, holidays and the trip to Sydney. urgh, slap. I think I've been in here for too long.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Update
uni's began, which is finally about time. My brain's in total chaos, studying once again will be a task. Well, the only hard subject looks like entrepreneurial finance which seems to have a fair bit of math, formulas, theories and number crunchin, but hey, I've been there, done that... Others like entrepreneurial ventures, product and brand management (a prev NUS lecturer) and HR management seem pretty alright.
I stayed till 12am at my fac on monday just to use the internet, which gives me nerd status already for being a rare breed of student who stays at uni till wee hours on the very first day of school. Other titles and expressions I got about this matter via msn were 'mad' 'crazy person' and 'what da heckkk???'.
a 2nd year dude who helped me setup my wireless connection whilst I was there was going like 'woah, don't worry, when I was in First Year, I was also very blur about this sorta thing, you'll get to know all these things after awhile... what year are you in by the way?' woah lao eh, dude, I'm like 5th year man, super old and veteran already. He must be like "what the heck?!?! this guy's 5th year and still so blur", but no, he's a china man, so that phrase will probably be in chinese: "na ge ren yi jing study 5 nian le, hai shi na me blur, shi zai wu yao ke qiu[fit any cheng yu here]"
sigh, I'll never be accustomed to live in 2 places. Its really really strange how I can leave Singapore feeling so SAD when I was like so keen to come back here in the first place. Leaving Melbourne to Singapore=SAD, leaving Singapore to Melbourne=SAD. arrrrrrrgggghhhh. why why why
only God can make sense of these sort of situations. I mean, as humans, its quite hard to understand why he allows us to disconnect with people at a time when we wish they'd be able to be with us. Be it going overseas, breakups, separation etc. But, He sees the bigger picture of it all. We may feel disheartened and sad about the situation, of course. It's only normal. But he wants us to put our faith on him, knowing that he'd guide us on to a brighter future, even though everything around seems bleak and somewhat impossible. Now this is the extra step we must take, on top of that sadness and separation. As I kept pursuing him in prayer, his assurance to me was found in Jeremiah 29:11. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." It's his promise to me now and I'll cling onto to it forever...
same story once again, I've been SICK and RECOVERING. usual usual usual!!! Always sick, and always in the midst of recovering, before getting into another virus attack yet again.
and I still do not have an internet connection...yet.
LAVINIA, COME TO MELBOURNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I stayed till 12am at my fac on monday just to use the internet, which gives me nerd status already for being a rare breed of student who stays at uni till wee hours on the very first day of school. Other titles and expressions I got about this matter via msn were 'mad' 'crazy person' and 'what da heckkk???'.
a 2nd year dude who helped me setup my wireless connection whilst I was there was going like 'woah, don't worry, when I was in First Year, I was also very blur about this sorta thing, you'll get to know all these things after awhile... what year are you in by the way?' woah lao eh, dude, I'm like 5th year man, super old and veteran already. He must be like "what the heck?!?! this guy's 5th year and still so blur", but no, he's a china man, so that phrase will probably be in chinese: "na ge ren yi jing study 5 nian le, hai shi na me blur, shi zai wu yao ke qiu[fit any cheng yu here]"
sigh, I'll never be accustomed to live in 2 places. Its really really strange how I can leave Singapore feeling so SAD when I was like so keen to come back here in the first place. Leaving Melbourne to Singapore=SAD, leaving Singapore to Melbourne=SAD. arrrrrrrgggghhhh. why why why
only God can make sense of these sort of situations. I mean, as humans, its quite hard to understand why he allows us to disconnect with people at a time when we wish they'd be able to be with us. Be it going overseas, breakups, separation etc. But, He sees the bigger picture of it all. We may feel disheartened and sad about the situation, of course. It's only normal. But he wants us to put our faith on him, knowing that he'd guide us on to a brighter future, even though everything around seems bleak and somewhat impossible. Now this is the extra step we must take, on top of that sadness and separation. As I kept pursuing him in prayer, his assurance to me was found in Jeremiah 29:11. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." It's his promise to me now and I'll cling onto to it forever...
same story once again, I've been SICK and RECOVERING. usual usual usual!!! Always sick, and always in the midst of recovering, before getting into another virus attack yet again.
and I still do not have an internet connection...yet.
LAVINIA, COME TO MELBOURNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, February 26, 2007
I've got NO internet
for now....
currently at ICT bulding (my faculty), leeching off its wireless connection. It's getting late... won't be long now... before the security dude's gonna chase me out.
oh, Hello world, I'm fine!! sorry Sa TAN, I'll overcome.
Weather's been hot, I've got diahorrea and sore throat. I think it was frm yesterday's food at the dodgy footscray road stalls.
It was great though, there was still the feel of CNY festvity at the fair, despite leaving home.
when going down, its the people around you that bring you back up. Thanks so much.
currently at ICT bulding (my faculty), leeching off its wireless connection. It's getting late... won't be long now... before the security dude's gonna chase me out.
oh, Hello world, I'm fine!! sorry Sa TAN, I'll overcome.
Weather's been hot, I've got diahorrea and sore throat. I think it was frm yesterday's food at the dodgy footscray road stalls.
It was great though, there was still the feel of CNY festvity at the fair, despite leaving home.
when going down, its the people around you that bring you back up. Thanks so much.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
couple more days...
soon, I'll be leaving again...
irrational hopelessness.
some fear.
clinging to the past as one does not dare face the future.
please help me to psych my body up into a proactive mode. I need that push, that extra thrust... my energy levels are far too low.
packing early is never possible. My room's in a state of chaos. Objects everywhere, all waiting to be attended to.
but hey, I've done this so many times already.
CNY was so late this year! Thank God I'm always around for it. It was great. I Love my cousins. Now to get my hands on those family photos...
irrational hopelessness.
some fear.
clinging to the past as one does not dare face the future.
please help me to psych my body up into a proactive mode. I need that push, that extra thrust... my energy levels are far too low.
packing early is never possible. My room's in a state of chaos. Objects everywhere, all waiting to be attended to.
but hey, I've done this so many times already.
CNY was so late this year! Thank God I'm always around for it. It was great. I Love my cousins. Now to get my hands on those family photos...
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Are you ready?
1 more week... its almost time
don't worry, I have super healing powers (or not)
the holidays have basically flown by once again, with too much relaxation + too little brain + physical activities. Yes, it's a good time for 1 more year of studies...
that calls for adjustments once again. adaptation. There is a need for stability, after living a nomad's life for far too long. Too many changed venues and relationships. Stop.
it's when you're in-between that tears. Advice was to decide on one and commit to it. I think I never did. But it brought me to this point: that both I love. But in doing so, I became a ghost, never material in one.
I hate the voices in my head. I hate that lethargy. But I'm gonna miss alot too. There was never a need to fight inner demons, when you have the fellowship of people that edify.
am I ready?
don't worry, I have super healing powers (or not)
the holidays have basically flown by once again, with too much relaxation + too little brain + physical activities. Yes, it's a good time for 1 more year of studies...
that calls for adjustments once again. adaptation. There is a need for stability, after living a nomad's life for far too long. Too many changed venues and relationships. Stop.
it's when you're in-between that tears. Advice was to decide on one and commit to it. I think I never did. But it brought me to this point: that both I love. But in doing so, I became a ghost, never material in one.
I hate the voices in my head. I hate that lethargy. But I'm gonna miss alot too. There was never a need to fight inner demons, when you have the fellowship of people that edify.
am I ready?
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
relationships
when meeting a Christian, a fellow brother or sister, we Edify.
when meeting a non-believer, one who doesn't know salvation, we Evangelize.
simple.
...
and welcome Faith to my blog!! thanks for agreeing to redesign this boring site. lol
...
oh, and Singapore just beat Thailand 2-1. What a great penalty!!!! I came back in time to see the Thai team protest and sulk at the ref. They were even about to leave the pitch! where's the sportsmanship man
when meeting a non-believer, one who doesn't know salvation, we Evangelize.
simple.
...
and welcome Faith to my blog!! thanks for agreeing to redesign this boring site. lol
...
oh, and Singapore just beat Thailand 2-1. What a great penalty!!!! I came back in time to see the Thai team protest and sulk at the ref. They were even about to leave the pitch! where's the sportsmanship man
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
above life
O God, be Thou exalted over my possessions. Nothing of earth's treasures shall seem dear unto me if only Thou art glorified in my life. Be Thou exalted over my friendships. I am determined that Thou shall be above all, though I must stand deserted and alone in the midst of the earth. Be Thou exalted above my comforts. Though it mean the loss of bodily comforts and the carrying of heavy crosses, I shall keep my vow made this day before Thee. Be Thou exalted over my reputation. Make me ambitious to please Thee even if as a result I must sink into obscurity and my name be forgotten as a dream. Rise, O Lord, into Thy proper place of honour, above my ambitions, above my likes and dislikes, above my family, my health and even my life itself. Let me decrease that Thou mayest increase; let me sink that Thou mayest rise above. Ride forth upon me as Thou didst ride into Jerusalem mounted upon the humble little beast, a colt, the foal of an ass, and let me hear the children cry to Thee, 'Hosanna in the highest.' (The Pursuit of God)
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
same story
reading my blog posts from last year's holidays, I realised that my last summer holiday was no different from this one: I got sick, it rained, and I'm slacking alot.
(excerpt)
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
my summer break is a time of relaxation- of rest and reflection. No work, no hard duties. I get to do whatever I want! I have no obligations- nothing to prove.
isnt it paradise? isn't this a break that many will crave to go through?
Strange, I still feel a sense of discomfort and dissatisfaction. Somtimes happiness will just leave me as I suddenly feel depression approaching. Random thoughts flood my brain as I simply brush the current train of thought[not that they're crucial stuff anyway] aside. Truly, I sometimes find my mind drifting away into randomness. My thoughts sum to nothing- No value added.
They say that an idle mind is a devil's workshop. Is that what my mind is going to be?
paradise seems to have its own serpents after all.
aimlessness... gets you lost in the emptiness of the world.
(end)
scary man, and prior to that, I was sick too!!!! wow, blog posts do help you recount your life. useful useful :D
(still reading previous blog posts)
woah, I realised that both the summers of '06 and '07 are so similar in experience- sickness + boredom depression + Rainnn, except that this year's version of sicknesses and rain are more intensified that the last.
well, as of now, I should be better (crossing fingers) after taking so much medicine.
and the rain, well I can't control that.
gotta enjoy this break period!!!!!
it's my last summer holiday anyway... one more year of uni life, [urgh] just when I got the hang of it! I really do take longer to adapt than most people, that's why I'm not a very good international student. You MUST be able to adapt because everything around you WILL change. Acceptance just comes too slowly to me... by the time I click into motion, when I'm all ready to deal with a problem, I get unplugged and face another issue. Read my very first post. I'm a resident alien, the world is enemy.
(excerpt)
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
my summer break is a time of relaxation- of rest and reflection. No work, no hard duties. I get to do whatever I want! I have no obligations- nothing to prove.
isnt it paradise? isn't this a break that many will crave to go through?
Strange, I still feel a sense of discomfort and dissatisfaction. Somtimes happiness will just leave me as I suddenly feel depression approaching. Random thoughts flood my brain as I simply brush the current train of thought[not that they're crucial stuff anyway] aside. Truly, I sometimes find my mind drifting away into randomness. My thoughts sum to nothing- No value added.
They say that an idle mind is a devil's workshop. Is that what my mind is going to be?
paradise seems to have its own serpents after all.
aimlessness... gets you lost in the emptiness of the world.
(end)
scary man, and prior to that, I was sick too!!!! wow, blog posts do help you recount your life. useful useful :D
(still reading previous blog posts)
woah, I realised that both the summers of '06 and '07 are so similar in experience- sickness + boredom depression + Rainnn, except that this year's version of sicknesses and rain are more intensified that the last.
well, as of now, I should be better (crossing fingers) after taking so much medicine.
and the rain, well I can't control that.
gotta enjoy this break period!!!!!
it's my last summer holiday anyway... one more year of uni life, [urgh] just when I got the hang of it! I really do take longer to adapt than most people, that's why I'm not a very good international student. You MUST be able to adapt because everything around you WILL change. Acceptance just comes too slowly to me... by the time I click into motion, when I'm all ready to deal with a problem, I get unplugged and face another issue. Read my very first post. I'm a resident alien, the world is enemy.
Friday, January 05, 2007
a survey
10 favourites
colour: red
food: bbq stingray
song:
movie:
sport: football
season: post-spring
day: Holi-day
ice cream: ferrero rocher
book: our daily bread
stuff toy: magnetic lion
current mood: happy
clothes: Giordano (budget la!)
desktop: ???
toenail colour: natural
time: 10.14 p.m. (current time?)
annoyance: scaring people
thought:
boyfriend: (s), u mean
book you are reading: Bible
firsts
daddy: stupid question
best friend: dude called tze aung
crush: girl(s) on TV
movie: THAT SHOW I WATCHED WITH MATT, the title’s just eluding me now
piercing: when I fell down I pierced my skin
lie: ??
music: ??
car: ???
handphone: alcatel
last
cigarette: 2002
drink: water
car ride: today
last crush:
movie seen: ju hua bing (Golden Flower)
phone call:
CD played: jars of clay
have i ever..dated my bestfriend: no
broken the law: yes
arrested: no
skinny-dipped: no
been on tv: yes, if camcorder counts
kissed someone you dunno: no
5 things you are wearing:
4 things you have done today:
4 things you can hear now:
3 things you cant live without: water, food, shelter
1 thing i regret:
shit, I give up doing this
Thursday, January 04, 2007
post mission trip, (recovered!)
mission trip was great, albeit a little tiring.
in fact, it was so tiring that it drained all the energy and food (don't ask how) out of me.
nonetheless, I will look back at it with fond memories and a remember a Christmas well spent (even though it was my first time spending it away from home).
Lav said that she could feel warmth and love all around, as if one was amongst family. I think she's right
I'll always remember in my mind, a mental picture of all the youths sitting on the hotel lobby (7th floor!!!) spending Christmas by singing carols and exchanging gifts, basically having a blast.
in fact, it was so tiring that it drained all the energy and food (don't ask how) out of me.
nonetheless, I will look back at it with fond memories and a remember a Christmas well spent (even though it was my first time spending it away from home).
Lav said that she could feel warmth and love all around, as if one was amongst family. I think she's right
I'll always remember in my mind, a mental picture of all the youths sitting on the hotel lobby (7th floor!!!) spending Christmas by singing carols and exchanging gifts, basically having a blast.
Monday, October 16, 2006
21
When you were born, God said "yes,"
yes to all you are and to all that you can be
by His grace, His mercy and His love.
He loved you at that very moment
without condition or reservation.
There is nothing you can do to earn that love,
and nothing you fail to do will lessen that love.
The coming year is a new opportunity
for you to discover more of the height, the breadth,
the length and the depth of that incredible love.
-Roy Lessin
yes to all you are and to all that you can be
by His grace, His mercy and His love.
He loved you at that very moment
without condition or reservation.
There is nothing you can do to earn that love,
and nothing you fail to do will lessen that love.
The coming year is a new opportunity
for you to discover more of the height, the breadth,
the length and the depth of that incredible love.
-Roy Lessin
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
He saves
a really good friend has told me to write...
[ok]
It's gonna be a letter of thanks and gratitude... He rescued me
----
well, I slept at 4am this morning. It was horrible, I've never done that in such a long time and I'm feeling so terrible now. All that toiling. Its so stressful when you're staring ahead at two really major assignments due at the end of this week. Really really stressful... all these deadlines and overdrives.
this boy just couldn't take it
One of the assignment was an essay worth 50%(!) of the subject, and I was nowhere near completion of that. Although it's safe to say that I've more or less finished the other one (it's due tomorrow so I sure as heck should've finished it).
But this particular assignment... eludes me so badly. I'm totally clueless on that topic. It's just so hard, to me. Issit because it's worth 50%? or issit because I'm just not used to doing freakin arts, reflective, idea, type of essays.
oh, the pressure, the pressure. For this assignment, the words just don't flow. Nothing springs out. Blank. My mind just couldn't do it, and as I keep hitting my head, frustration seeps in, making the situation worse. Just clueless... I was blacking out, quite literally.
this boy just couldn't take it
This was where God came in. the one who's never failed.
he rescued me...
[continuing]
last night was so futile... I went to bed feeling so down. Just sitting on the desk reading articles and trying to come up with a plan is already painstakingly impossible. What more the actual thing? urghh... I shudder to think about it.
waking up wasn't any better. so much to do. I still had to contend with all the work. Deadline's looming. I'm nowhere near completion... [help]
however, by evening today, things just took a turn for good... oh the thrill, his rescue...
I think submitting an essay plan to my lecturer was one of the best decisions made this week. Before yesterday, had a course mate not told me that how she got really good advice from the lecturer by submitting her plan, I wouldn't even have thought of doing that.
Through the toils of last night, I had carved out a plan, a pathetic plan, but a plan nonetheless. Emailing it to my lecturer, I got a reply that very evening.
... fantastic, I just don't know what to say:
Hello jeremy, You've analysed all the terms admirably, but you're still quite far from an essay... blah blah blah... I think you're going to need an extension so I will set 22/9 as your new submession date
[I'm so amazed]
truly, thank you so much God.
you rescued me.
[ok]
It's gonna be a letter of thanks and gratitude... He rescued me
----
well, I slept at 4am this morning. It was horrible, I've never done that in such a long time and I'm feeling so terrible now. All that toiling. Its so stressful when you're staring ahead at two really major assignments due at the end of this week. Really really stressful... all these deadlines and overdrives.
this boy just couldn't take it
One of the assignment was an essay worth 50%(!) of the subject, and I was nowhere near completion of that. Although it's safe to say that I've more or less finished the other one (it's due tomorrow so I sure as heck should've finished it).
But this particular assignment... eludes me so badly. I'm totally clueless on that topic. It's just so hard, to me. Issit because it's worth 50%? or issit because I'm just not used to doing freakin arts, reflective, idea, type of essays.
oh, the pressure, the pressure. For this assignment, the words just don't flow. Nothing springs out. Blank. My mind just couldn't do it, and as I keep hitting my head, frustration seeps in, making the situation worse. Just clueless... I was blacking out, quite literally.
this boy just couldn't take it
This was where God came in. the one who's never failed.
he rescued me...
[continuing]
last night was so futile... I went to bed feeling so down. Just sitting on the desk reading articles and trying to come up with a plan is already painstakingly impossible. What more the actual thing? urghh... I shudder to think about it.
waking up wasn't any better. so much to do. I still had to contend with all the work. Deadline's looming. I'm nowhere near completion... [help]
however, by evening today, things just took a turn for good... oh the thrill, his rescue...
I think submitting an essay plan to my lecturer was one of the best decisions made this week. Before yesterday, had a course mate not told me that how she got really good advice from the lecturer by submitting her plan, I wouldn't even have thought of doing that.
Through the toils of last night, I had carved out a plan, a pathetic plan, but a plan nonetheless. Emailing it to my lecturer, I got a reply that very evening.
... fantastic, I just don't know what to say:
Hello jeremy, You've analysed all the terms admirably, but you're still quite far from an essay... blah blah blah... I think you're going to need an extension so I will set 22/9 as your new submession date
[I'm so amazed]
truly, thank you so much God.
you rescued me.
Monday, July 31, 2006
hi
nothing much, just writing for the sake of having contents (in july)
goodbye july, see you next year.
goodbye july, see you next year.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Australia Vs Japan
What a GAME!!
despite the chilly winds of this freezing winter season, we [mai kee, michael, kent and I], (4 crazy boys) were out at the fed. square with a whole aussie mob to catch the world cup clash between japan and the socceroos on the big screen.
and boy did the match NOT disappoint!! it was awesome. The whole atmosphere was great- right from the start when I saw red flares (for the first time) being lit all throughout the crowd and streamers flying everywhere. gosh, I thought this only happens in the san siro.
but the stage was set, it just needed an aussie victory...
as the match went on, with japan going 1-up through a controversial goal, it started to look like the game was going to be a party pooper. you could feel the crowd losing its vibrance and it actually started to get colder...
but no, Aus fought, and they came back!!! in the the final third of the game cahill came on and suddenly, GOAL!!!!
the whole crowd erupted into euphoria and once again, flares were being lit all over the place.
I remember when the goal was scored, all of us were just going absolutely maddddd! especially mai kee and michael, who were jumping like wild boys, and in the process, unknowingly heading towards some dodgy dude who had a broken flare in his hand. He was literally trying to break it open as everyone was celebrating, (and the two mikes were jumping towards him, obviously oblivious to the danger.)
after that goal, aus scored another 2. That really made the experience at fed square amazing. it was awesome to be amongst the mob celebrations, especially when the goals came.
after the match, flinders street became a party ground. The roads were shut off and people took to the streets to celebrate.
what can I say, it was an experience.
despite the chilly winds of this freezing winter season, we [mai kee, michael, kent and I], (4 crazy boys) were out at the fed. square with a whole aussie mob to catch the world cup clash between japan and the socceroos on the big screen.
and boy did the match NOT disappoint!! it was awesome. The whole atmosphere was great- right from the start when I saw red flares (for the first time) being lit all throughout the crowd and streamers flying everywhere. gosh, I thought this only happens in the san siro.
but the stage was set, it just needed an aussie victory...
as the match went on, with japan going 1-up through a controversial goal, it started to look like the game was going to be a party pooper. you could feel the crowd losing its vibrance and it actually started to get colder...
but no, Aus fought, and they came back!!! in the the final third of the game cahill came on and suddenly, GOAL!!!!
the whole crowd erupted into euphoria and once again, flares were being lit all over the place.
I remember when the goal was scored, all of us were just going absolutely maddddd! especially mai kee and michael, who were jumping like wild boys, and in the process, unknowingly heading towards some dodgy dude who had a broken flare in his hand. He was literally trying to break it open as everyone was celebrating, (and the two mikes were jumping towards him, obviously oblivious to the danger.)
after that goal, aus scored another 2. That really made the experience at fed square amazing. it was awesome to be amongst the mob celebrations, especially when the goals came.
after the match, flinders street became a party ground. The roads were shut off and people took to the streets to celebrate.
what can I say, it was an experience.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
urban lights are fading in my eyes...
...as I've been fighting hard to keep myself awake all day.
it's holland's game in the world cup tonight, but I'm so stuffed now.
last night was a blast. I watched 'the omen' and the world cup matches on tv straight after that. the 5 of us came to church looking all... [I'll use the same word cos I can't think] Stuffed
man, I feel so sorry for the kid who played the mini anti-christ in that omen movie. sad boy, sad boy. Imagine being remembered as the devil's child for the most part of your fledgling life....ouchh
but anyhow, it was really funny (in the movie), seeing kent all wrapped up in his jacket throughout the show (especially the tense scenes!) and michael sutanto curling himself into a ball the during last part of the movie. If you were there you'd be laughing at them too. hilarious man, I just couldn't stop. (made it even funnier as kent was taunting me as a chicken prior to the show)
I wish i could've taken photos!!!!
sadly, I couldn't confirm whether mai kee screams like a girl though.
but after the show, he[mai kee] kept trying to scare us throughout the night with those random 'boos', although none of them seemed to work. oh, he did manage to frighten the nam loong girl (although unintentionally). So that doesnt count mai kee! man, he even resorted to switching off toilet lights when people were peeing.
note to self, mai kee needs retribution for all those nonsensical acts.
the soccer matches were disappointing, in the sense that there were no goals. Again, Kent was all wrapped up [in dunas] but this time it was because he was tired.
I learnt that Stomping a guy who was too lazy to fight back was fun!
I think I was the last to sleep.
mai kee snores.
I got a 'sheet' to cover myself whilst everyone had Warm dunas (thanks guys)
yea, I was the last to sleep.
everyone had nice Warm dunas
I had a sheet
but when I finally did shut down, I slept like a log.
even with a sheet
alarms don't wake me.
I slept the winter night with a Sheet.
everyone woke up claiming that they were sweating under the Warm dunas.
I woke up a frozen skeleton.
I only got a duna when it was 9.30am and time to go.
thanks guys.
it's holland's game in the world cup tonight, but I'm so stuffed now.
last night was a blast. I watched 'the omen' and the world cup matches on tv straight after that. the 5 of us came to church looking all... [I'll use the same word cos I can't think] Stuffed
man, I feel so sorry for the kid who played the mini anti-christ in that omen movie. sad boy, sad boy. Imagine being remembered as the devil's child for the most part of your fledgling life....ouchh
but anyhow, it was really funny (in the movie), seeing kent all wrapped up in his jacket throughout the show (especially the tense scenes!) and michael sutanto curling himself into a ball the during last part of the movie. If you were there you'd be laughing at them too. hilarious man, I just couldn't stop. (made it even funnier as kent was taunting me as a chicken prior to the show)
I wish i could've taken photos!!!!
sadly, I couldn't confirm whether mai kee screams like a girl though.
but after the show, he[mai kee] kept trying to scare us throughout the night with those random 'boos', although none of them seemed to work. oh, he did manage to frighten the nam loong girl (although unintentionally). So that doesnt count mai kee! man, he even resorted to switching off toilet lights when people were peeing.
note to self, mai kee needs retribution for all those nonsensical acts.
the soccer matches were disappointing, in the sense that there were no goals. Again, Kent was all wrapped up [in dunas] but this time it was because he was tired.
I learnt that Stomping a guy who was too lazy to fight back was fun!
I think I was the last to sleep.
mai kee snores.
I got a 'sheet' to cover myself whilst everyone had Warm dunas (thanks guys)
yea, I was the last to sleep.
everyone had nice Warm dunas
I had a sheet
but when I finally did shut down, I slept like a log.
even with a sheet
alarms don't wake me.
I slept the winter night with a Sheet.
everyone woke up claiming that they were sweating under the Warm dunas.
I woke up a frozen skeleton.
I only got a duna when it was 9.30am and time to go.
thanks guys.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
And the Cry of my heart is to bring you praise.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
I shouldn't be blogging
monday - Drowning in the information overload and not comprehending a single thing (spent the whole afternoon staring at a financial swaps slide w/o understanding it)
tuesday - On a roll. Alot of things I didn't know suddenly just dawned upon me
wednesday - the roll continued... until dawn came, when I started losing concentration
thursday - plot lost. Spent the whole afternoon attending consultation lectures and couldnt click into the study mode when I got back
friday - tried to get into the swing of things but suddenly everything seems hard again
saturday - today! oh no. Help
sunday - (will suddenly turn genius)
monday - (genius level will be extraordinary)
tuesday - (I blitz the exams)
----
I look to the left of my study and see photos: Pictures of family, friends, happy times and fond memories. It's my wonderwall. Thanks for being my encouragement during this exam period!
tuesday - On a roll. Alot of things I didn't know suddenly just dawned upon me
wednesday - the roll continued... until dawn came, when I started losing concentration
thursday - plot lost. Spent the whole afternoon attending consultation lectures and couldnt click into the study mode when I got back
friday - tried to get into the swing of things but suddenly everything seems hard again
saturday - today! oh no. Help
sunday - (will suddenly turn genius)
monday - (genius level will be extraordinary)
tuesday - (I blitz the exams)
----
I look to the left of my study and see photos: Pictures of family, friends, happy times and fond memories. It's my wonderwall. Thanks for being my encouragement during this exam period!
Thursday, June 01, 2006
you learn something new each day...
Recent conversation (with the zheng-master):
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
heeeeeey
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
nani
jem says:
heyy zheng
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
is that u
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
witha a towel
jem says:
yea yea, hahaha.
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
no wait
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
a sleeping bag
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
lol
jem says:
sleeping
jem says:
*peace
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
u sleep like a log
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
lol
jem says:
who's rofl?
jem says:
your dog?
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
acronym
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
lol = laught out loud
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
Rofl = rolling on floor laughing
jem says:
HAHAHAHAHA, oh oh, i thought rofl was like your dog who found plans in the laundry.
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
lmao = laughing my ass off
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
lol
jem says:
*embarrassed
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
Roflmao = rolling on floor laughing my ass off
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
lol
--------------
End of Transcript
wow, now we all know what 'rofl' is....
and as zheng mentioned, you can even add combos to turn 'rofl' into 'roflmao' which gives it the added 'my ass off'.
smarrrrrrt ...
now to learn something about information systems architecture (isa) or international finance (if)
*rofc!!
*roll on the floor crying
loving the acronyms
by the way (btw),
"ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ "
looking at this context, rofl does kindda sound like a dog dont u agree?
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
heeeeeey
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
nani
jem says:
heyy zheng
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
is that u
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
witha a towel
jem says:
yea yea, hahaha.
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
no wait
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
a sleeping bag
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
lol
jem says:
sleeping
jem says:
*peace
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
u sleep like a log
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
lol
jem says:
who's rofl?
jem says:
your dog?
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
acronym
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
lol = laught out loud
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
Rofl = rolling on floor laughing
jem says:
HAHAHAHAHA, oh oh, i thought rofl was like your dog who found plans in the laundry.
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
lmao = laughing my ass off
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
lol
jem says:
*embarrassed
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
Roflmao = rolling on floor laughing my ass off
ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ says:
lol
--------------
End of Transcript
wow, now we all know what 'rofl' is....
and as zheng mentioned, you can even add combos to turn 'rofl' into 'roflmao' which gives it the added 'my ass off'.
smarrrrrrt ...
now to learn something about information systems architecture (isa) or international finance (if)
*rofc!!
*roll on the floor crying
loving the acronyms
by the way (btw),
"ROFL FOUND PLANS IN THE LAUNDRY - but i dont understand em........ "
looking at this context, rofl does kindda sound like a dog dont u agree?
Saturday, May 20, 2006
humiliation
blasted by a bus driver for trying to ask him to change my dollar note for a ticket. What the heck, he gives me a lecture on how the rules have changed and bus drivers are now not allowed to change money for customers. Before I could explain that the machine in the bus station was spoilt + the conductor didnt have enough change (one who cared bollocks) and there wasnt a single person around, he simply cut me off and yelled his rights and my wrongdoings.
he said that the bus was under surveillance and everything that's happening is being recorded and that he'll give it to the head office which'll remember my face and put it on the state registry so that they'll remember me and be able make sure I do not do this again. He also cautioned me about my speech (because everything that is said in the conversation is being recorded) and mind you till that point I hadn't really been chanced to even say a thing:
"sorry about that but..." (no chance for my explainations)
"but I couldnt do anything about it" (he starts implying that I'm now blaming him)
"I'm really not trying...[to do anything criminal here]" (couldnt even finish that sentence)
as he kept rolling about how the entire situation was due to my irresponsibility and he had nothing do do with it, I felt utterly helpless. If there was a time I really needed someone's help so badly, that was it.
Finally, I looked desperately at him and asked what I could do about the situation now (nxt bus is in an hr's time).
he simply gave a look of utter disregard and said that he'd change my note this time. after handing my my ticket, he went on to look at the surveillance camera and started going like 'INCIDENT AT 12.05PM... PASSENGER...', as though my actions were crininal.
at that point I felt like crap. tried to force a smile and show that I was somehow really really thankful that he could transact the $20 note for a ticket and $15 dollars change (oh by the way, he had a little cashier beside him filled with cash, and when I looked at it initially, he goes like 'oh don't you go all big-eyed looking at that cash because it none of your business...'
right, when I finally sat down on the bus I felt like the worse human ever alive. I was utterly humiliated and really just so down.
I just want to say that through this whole incident, I didn't raise my voice nor did a single curse word come out of me. I was standing there getting slaughtered as passengers watched the spectacle unfold.
but since this is my space and my outlet to finally let my feelings out, I'd like to say that I feel the whole treatment I received was unfair, harsh and wasnt justified at all.
I wanted to pay for a ticket.
I had a note and no alternatives to change it.
I couldnt explain my situation.
I got blasted.
I would definitely keep this experience in mind so that I myself would not do this unto someone else.
oh yes, I've also lost my fringe today. (I know, what a sad day. lol)
when I said to keep the front 'over the eyebrows', it doesnt mean like short hair right? I mean, short means' under the eyebrows' isnt it. oh man, what a horrific outcome a single slit can make!
I don't know, but I guess there's always the good ol cap to wear when everything's in a mess.
well, thanks bus driver, I'll definitely learn to treat people better than how you treat them
he said that the bus was under surveillance and everything that's happening is being recorded and that he'll give it to the head office which'll remember my face and put it on the state registry so that they'll remember me and be able make sure I do not do this again. He also cautioned me about my speech (because everything that is said in the conversation is being recorded) and mind you till that point I hadn't really been chanced to even say a thing:
"sorry about that but..." (no chance for my explainations)
"but I couldnt do anything about it" (he starts implying that I'm now blaming him)
"I'm really not trying...[to do anything criminal here]" (couldnt even finish that sentence)
as he kept rolling about how the entire situation was due to my irresponsibility and he had nothing do do with it, I felt utterly helpless. If there was a time I really needed someone's help so badly, that was it.
Finally, I looked desperately at him and asked what I could do about the situation now (nxt bus is in an hr's time).
he simply gave a look of utter disregard and said that he'd change my note this time. after handing my my ticket, he went on to look at the surveillance camera and started going like 'INCIDENT AT 12.05PM... PASSENGER...', as though my actions were crininal.
at that point I felt like crap. tried to force a smile and show that I was somehow really really thankful that he could transact the $20 note for a ticket and $15 dollars change (oh by the way, he had a little cashier beside him filled with cash, and when I looked at it initially, he goes like 'oh don't you go all big-eyed looking at that cash because it none of your business...'
right, when I finally sat down on the bus I felt like the worse human ever alive. I was utterly humiliated and really just so down.
I just want to say that through this whole incident, I didn't raise my voice nor did a single curse word come out of me. I was standing there getting slaughtered as passengers watched the spectacle unfold.
but since this is my space and my outlet to finally let my feelings out, I'd like to say that I feel the whole treatment I received was unfair, harsh and wasnt justified at all.
I wanted to pay for a ticket.
I had a note and no alternatives to change it.
I couldnt explain my situation.
I got blasted.
I would definitely keep this experience in mind so that I myself would not do this unto someone else.
oh yes, I've also lost my fringe today. (I know, what a sad day. lol)
when I said to keep the front 'over the eyebrows', it doesnt mean like short hair right? I mean, short means' under the eyebrows' isnt it. oh man, what a horrific outcome a single slit can make!
I don't know, but I guess there's always the good ol cap to wear when everything's in a mess.
well, thanks bus driver, I'll definitely learn to treat people better than how you treat them
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
"I love the Lord, and if Loving the Lord is wrong, then I don't wanna be right!"
assignments and presentation all looming at the corner.
beyond that lies the massive exams (have like 2 papers in a day!)
beyond that lies the massive exams (have like 2 papers in a day!)
(oh God, not another pile of bollocks)
Finally.the hard part was squeezing all the words into the 2 small pages provided. I had it all typed out on the computer but that was wayy over the word count.
lights out!
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Who is Theo Walcott??
sven's England call-up
• Goalkeepers: Robinson (Tottenham), James (Manchester City), Green (Norwich)
• Defenders: G Neville (Manchester United), R Ferdinand (Manchester United), Terry (Chelsea), A Cole (Arsenal), Campbell (Arsenal), Carragher (Liverpool), Bridge (Chelsea)
• Midfielders: Beckham (Real Madrid), Carrick (Tottenham), Lampard (Chelsea), Gerrard (Liverpool), Hargreaves (Bayern Munich), Jenas (Totenham), Downing (Middlesbrough), J Cole (Chelsea), Lennon (Tottenham)
• Forwards: Rooney (Manchester United), Owen (Newcastle), Crouch (Liverpool), Walcott (Arsenal).
oh crap, maybe he's gone too far
-----
well, the weeks leading up to the end of the semester are flying by- the days simply dropping like flies. I can't believe it's coming to week 11 that quickly.
we certainly need to see time from a Godly perspective if we are to make the best out of it: I need to make a stand for Him, and make it all worthwhile here. Cos at the end of the day, there's only worth when you do it all for His glory.
anyhow, I've been in the computer labs all week, camping there till the sky turns dark basically. But oh man, I feel so industrious! Especially knowing that I've singlehandedly done my group's assignment- they will be pleased to know that I've completed the prototype for assignment 3 already.
yes! It sure makes all the 'camping' times worthwhile and rewarding once your efforts get paid off with a beautiful working program. It'll def. make your group members much Happier people too! ahahaha.
then again, it's also really tiring and sometimes bad cos you tend to forget about meals and neglect all other things when focusing on the task at hand. aha. but yea, when you know you've done a good day's work. you sleep so much better.
and it feels soo good too!
oh yes, it's also for Him. and his glory.
cheers.
• Goalkeepers: Robinson (Tottenham), James (Manchester City), Green (Norwich)
• Defenders: G Neville (Manchester United), R Ferdinand (Manchester United), Terry (Chelsea), A Cole (Arsenal), Campbell (Arsenal), Carragher (Liverpool), Bridge (Chelsea)
• Midfielders: Beckham (Real Madrid), Carrick (Tottenham), Lampard (Chelsea), Gerrard (Liverpool), Hargreaves (Bayern Munich), Jenas (Totenham), Downing (Middlesbrough), J Cole (Chelsea), Lennon (Tottenham)
• Forwards: Rooney (Manchester United), Owen (Newcastle), Crouch (Liverpool), Walcott (Arsenal).
oh crap, maybe he's gone too far
-----
well, the weeks leading up to the end of the semester are flying by- the days simply dropping like flies. I can't believe it's coming to week 11 that quickly.
we certainly need to see time from a Godly perspective if we are to make the best out of it: I need to make a stand for Him, and make it all worthwhile here. Cos at the end of the day, there's only worth when you do it all for His glory.
anyhow, I've been in the computer labs all week, camping there till the sky turns dark basically. But oh man, I feel so industrious! Especially knowing that I've singlehandedly done my group's assignment- they will be pleased to know that I've completed the prototype for assignment 3 already.
yes! It sure makes all the 'camping' times worthwhile and rewarding once your efforts get paid off with a beautiful working program. It'll def. make your group members much Happier people too! ahahaha.
then again, it's also really tiring and sometimes bad cos you tend to forget about meals and neglect all other things when focusing on the task at hand. aha. but yea, when you know you've done a good day's work. you sleep so much better.
and it feels soo good too!
oh yes, it's also for Him. and his glory.
cheers.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
if sven had the balls...
…carrick would be a starter for the England
[oh, this is in the light of rooney’s injury, by the way, if you’re unaware of it]
rio [ferdinand] is DEF behind Carragher in the pecking order at the moment as his performances this season does not warrant him a start when there is a better defender who can play with heart.
[oh, this is in the light of rooney’s injury, by the way, if you’re unaware of it]
rio [ferdinand] is DEF behind Carragher in the pecking order at the moment as his performances this season does not warrant him a start when there is a better defender who can play with heart.
(my best
---------------Robinson------------
Neville-Carragher-Terry-A.Cole
--------------Carrick---------------
Beckham-------------------J.Cole
---------Gerrard-Lampard-------
---------------Crouch-------------
With rooney out, gerrard and lampard will now be able to be play in their best positions respectively- roaming midfielders/hole players/behind the striker, everywhere, basically.
this is only possible with the vacated position left by rooney’s injury and if another holding midfielder is introduced to allow both these 2 men the license to attack.
carrick at the back would allow them both to be able to enjoy their best positions without competition. He would unshackle gerrard from defending duties and allow lamps to be always on attack mode.
and why not? Carrick has been excellent and has really excelled this season at Spurs. A deep lying playmaker, he can conjure up the killer balls and guard the back four sufficiently well enough as the midfield to retreats to defend.
I know many people would say that crouch stinks, but he is more than able to hold-up the ball and link play. If he can do this well, then its game on for him. Also, if the exceptional supply from becks allows crouch to score some goals (think becksàrvn, then Goal!), then it’ll be an added bonus for the team. But even if he doesn’t score, but does a fine job in bringing the midfield into the game, than I’d say again, its mission accomplished for him. I’m sure a midfield with the likes of cole, becks, lampard and gerrard won’t have a problem finding the back of the net if they had good service from a big striker.
others might reckon: owen as a lone striker? Well, he just won’t cut it. Not that I’m criticizing him or anything, but owen is just a different sort of striker- he is built with the qualities of a poacher. A more selfish and direct style of play would mean that the midfield would not benefit much playing off him. And again,
but sadly, come the world cup,
owen will start
rio will start
and carrick on the pitch will be a rare sight.
because Sven is in charge.
though all these factors will be to
because Sven is in charge
with a ball-less boss like sven, he will probably go starting owen with crouch just to appease his stars. He will stifle either gerrard or lampard. He will choose rio (passionless) to carragher (heart). He will be the downfall of
Aspx
InstantOrder.Asmx
Myproxy.vb
Webconfig
IBuySpy
Commerce database
A business logic machine and a database to be created for a client.
game On!!
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Matt wrote:
On Tuesday May 02 2006...
"What happens when you don't get what you want
Wow, the universal question. The question that often determines how happy our lives are. Different people deal with it differently, and very often, depending on how they deal with it, they lead wonderful or miserable lives all the same.
So what do you do when things don't go your way. It could be your UNI applications not working out the way you planned, or your relationship crumbling, or your simple anxiety on what to do with your life. What do you do when things seem to fall apart, and when stuff you ve hoped in SO much just breaks down after one conversation or after one letter. What happens when your home, as a concept, is desecrated and you find yourself running away. What happens when, overcome by guilt, you wallow in ur predicament and cry yourself to sleep every night for almost half a year. What happens when you feel so insecure, you hide from people. What happens when you cannot go home, but if you don't, you re trapped in a military camp. What happens when you injure yourself, and lose your self esteem. What happens when people tell you you re not good enough. what happens when you tell yourself you re not good enough. what happens when people just let you down. what Happens when there is really really no one left, who cares or knows what you re going through. what happens when you tell yourself no one cares.What happens when you couldnt care to explain stuff to the few people who cared, cos its too complicated. What happens when you feel so ashamed and guilty of something you ve done that you hide from people and convince yourself that you re gonna have to go away to another land. What happens when you ponder suicide, like for real. what happens when u ponder suicide and then acknowledge that you arent brave enough to end it, thereby completely leavin you solutionless. What happens and where do you go?
What would you do, when you ve hurt people so deeply, that they would be scarred for life.
What would you do when you feel theres no way out of the shite thats piling on.
what would you do when you find that nothing you re doing is gonna help you.
what would you do when someone you loved so much doesnt feel the same way, and you just feel like your heart was ripped out and trampled on
what would you do when you decided that you couldnt face the world or move on
what would you do when you realised you are truly a good for nothing
what would you do when you realised you are achievement-less
what would you do when you realised that you have nothing going for you.
what would you do when you realised that you club,smoke, drink and indulge ur lust almost daily.
what would you do when you ve found that you are slave to so many things, including ur prisoning desires.
what would you do when everyone else around you seems to have it better, or IS better than you.
what would you do when everything you apply for rejects you and tells you that you re stupid
what would you do if even the people you thought would believe in you tell you your limits
Well, idunno about you but, about a year ago, Itried this one way after exhuasting every other, and its been amazing.
Ask me about it please, i m dying to tell you!! I REALLY AM DYING TO TELL YOU. like...i m exploding here."
"What happens when you don't get what you want
Wow, the universal question. The question that often determines how happy our lives are. Different people deal with it differently, and very often, depending on how they deal with it, they lead wonderful or miserable lives all the same.
So what do you do when things don't go your way. It could be your UNI applications not working out the way you planned, or your relationship crumbling, or your simple anxiety on what to do with your life. What do you do when things seem to fall apart, and when stuff you ve hoped in SO much just breaks down after one conversation or after one letter. What happens when your home, as a concept, is desecrated and you find yourself running away. What happens when, overcome by guilt, you wallow in ur predicament and cry yourself to sleep every night for almost half a year. What happens when you feel so insecure, you hide from people. What happens when you cannot go home, but if you don't, you re trapped in a military camp. What happens when you injure yourself, and lose your self esteem. What happens when people tell you you re not good enough. what happens when you tell yourself you re not good enough. what happens when people just let you down. what Happens when there is really really no one left, who cares or knows what you re going through. what happens when you tell yourself no one cares.What happens when you couldnt care to explain stuff to the few people who cared, cos its too complicated. What happens when you feel so ashamed and guilty of something you ve done that you hide from people and convince yourself that you re gonna have to go away to another land. What happens when you ponder suicide, like for real. what happens when u ponder suicide and then acknowledge that you arent brave enough to end it, thereby completely leavin you solutionless. What happens and where do you go?
What would you do, when you ve hurt people so deeply, that they would be scarred for life.
What would you do when you feel theres no way out of the shite thats piling on.
what would you do when you find that nothing you re doing is gonna help you.
what would you do when someone you loved so much doesnt feel the same way, and you just feel like your heart was ripped out and trampled on
what would you do when you decided that you couldnt face the world or move on
what would you do when you realised you are truly a good for nothing
what would you do when you realised you are achievement-less
what would you do when you realised that you have nothing going for you.
what would you do when you realised that you club,smoke, drink and indulge ur lust almost daily.
what would you do when you ve found that you are slave to so many things, including ur prisoning desires.
what would you do when everyone else around you seems to have it better, or IS better than you.
what would you do when everything you apply for rejects you and tells you that you re stupid
what would you do if even the people you thought would believe in you tell you your limits
Well, idunno about you but, about a year ago, Itried this one way after exhuasting every other, and its been amazing.
Ask me about it please, i m dying to tell you!! I REALLY AM DYING TO TELL YOU. like...i m exploding here."
Saturday, April 22, 2006
tonight's all soccer
"We have not seen a player like Shearer for years - a player who could almost guarantee you 30 goals a season at his peak. Scoring goals consistently is the hardest job on a football pitch and that explains why strikers get all the glory and more of the money. You just cannot put a value on someone who can bang in goals at such a rate. Sir Alex Ferguson paid tribute to him this week when he said that he says to his scouts every week 'find me a Shearer'. He says he gets people offered who can play 'in the hole' or just behind two strikers, or who can drop wide, and all he can say is 'why don't you find me another bloody Shearer?'
That tells you everything you need to know about whether there's a place for an 'English-style' centre-forward in the modern game. Every team in the Premiership would fall over themselves to sign another Shearer. If Liverpool could find one, they might well win the title."
-Andy Gray on the legend that is Alan Shearer (whose footballing career is finally over)
"My dream as a kid was to play for Newcastle United and to score goals at St James' Park. It doesn't matter that I didn't win a trophy because I did it my way and I lived the dream.
Unless you come from the area you wouldn't understand that mentality. Playing for the club is everything. I broke Jackie's record and no-one can take that away from me. I've never had any regrets."
just came from the tele room after watching the match between Spurs and Arse.
exciting stuff, even though it was from a neutral's point of view (with the added bonus of being able to witness the fans from both sides in the tv area taunting each other- more specifically, 2 pommie rivals)
gosh, Spurs... you guys were so close to victory. (Spurs, Spurs, always faltering at the last moment.) Basically, to sum up the downfall: the minute the team went ahead to a Robbie Keane goal, they just couldnt hold back the Arse onslaught led by Henry and essentially lost too much of their shape. come on, anyone who plays man behind ball against Arse will be severely punished.
and Edgar Davids being sent off... added woe
what a ripper...
yet, I reckon Michael Carrick...
an awesome player man. He really had quite a game (before the falterings). excellent solo run, ball control and especially great passing from the Spurs pivot. truly a very cool deep-lying playmaker who's a star in the making.
...and as for the match later, the almighty Liverpool will lock horns once again with money rich, zero-culture Chelski. They look unstoppable at the moment, but sometimes, you never know.
seriously, if the red machine clicks into play, then we'll def be able to bang their stupid team out of another cup competition like we did last year [Liverpool, Euro Champions 2005).
strongest line-up for us [I reckon]:
-------------Reina------------
Finnan-Carragher-Hypia-Riise
Gerrard-Alonso-Sissoko-Kewell
---------Cisse-Crouch--------
cisse being the most worrying factor. the dude's fast, but sometimes he's just too fast for his own good that he can't stop to make better decisions with the ball.
all those wasted chances, misses and ball losses. please cisse, if you ever step onto the pitch tonight, give us red fans a performance that we'd marvel at.
a pity that the man Robbie is ineligable for the tie tonight. He'd be a def starter.
however, knowing boss Rafa, he'd probably adopt 'flexible' 4-5-1 to give us more... options. and prob also because other than Fowler, there aren't any prolific strikers that we can call upon in such massive games.
Crouch will be doing what he does best: being a pivotal target man to hold all the balls for the midfield to enter into attacks. After all, that's what the gangly striker has been doing for us all season.
gosh, it's times like these [in the absence of Fowler] when we surely need a Shearer.
but anyhow, a holding man up front gives players like Gerrard, Garcia and Kewell the chance to break forward and attack.
the match won't just be Pool vs Chelski. It's also Liverpool vs robben and drogba theatrics and mourinho's trash talk.
but at the end of the day:
Good guys win
Bad guys lose
and Liverpool prevails
(last line was meant to be london and it was stolen off V for Vendetta from the 'voice of London'.)
4-5-1:
------------Reina------------
Finnan-Carragher-Hypia-Riise (the legendary back four will always be there)
Gerrard-Alonso-Sissoko-Kewell
------------Garcia------------
------------Crouch-----------
well, I know Garcia aint such a good choice: another frustrating player who always tries crazy stuff and loses possesion too cheaply.
but look, the man does score those spectacular goals and always somehow revels in the limelight that big matches provide.
(Liverpool to win 1-0)
a cheers [with my milo] to that.
Planet Shakers - Majesty is DE SONG
'All majesty, to the Lord of creation
All majesty, God of all generations
This anthem we'll sing
To the God of all nations
All majesty we sing'
.
wow, once again, I am baffled at the way time can just fly so fast.
a week ago at this time, I was away at easter camp and looking forward to a wonderful week of holiday that was to follow thereafter.
and before that I had just been through such a tough and grueling week at uni (of tests and assignments).
you can imagine the happiness when those tests came to an end as I was immediately ushered into the holidays. (seriously, that was such a high)
holidays contained happiness, joy, lonliness, depression, procrastination, study, fatigue, laziness, prayer, falterings... (the lot)
but today, all of it seems to have come to an end. It is now the weekends, which will be closely followed by school again. The easter break is over [just like that].
how precious is time!! there is no such thing as a pause button in life. time-outs do not literally mean what they say.
the clock ticks... and my youth is being wasted away.
so much of my time has been thrown, and devoted to non-value added stuff. I feel so guilty now.
I really hope I've done something through the week that has somehow pleased God, but it's so hard to tell. I fear that I have wasted this whole week as nothing I've done is worthy enough to be mentioned. nothing I've done may have pleased Him at all.
In fact, I feel I haven't really been worthy enough at all.
I've done nothing.
crap.
I'm useless (the truth hurts)
how come I can have so much ideals and visions, yet somehow do not execute what I think.
what i wanna do I do not do, what I do not wanna do, I end up doing.
I'm wierd. How is it I can have such drastic mood swings. How come I can look normal on the outside yet feel so downcast and hurt on the inside. Why am I always battling internally- and putting out the fires within to troubles that other people do not seem to even know. and sometimes, it's as if I feel that there's no person in the world that would be able to help me. heck, I can't even describe my problems.
how did so much happiness manage to escape from me? Did I not pack enough with me to last through these times?
oh yes, its the idle periods when I fall the most.
anyhow, back to the issue of time- its just amazing how this whole week of holidays seem to just Fly by just like that.
I guess easter camp was something worth mentioning.
I really went there with the intent of seeking God. I guess he gave me the added bonus of fun and I also got to know the people at church better.
oh oh
I saw a video that made me laugh my ass off!
the mighty Steven Gerrard... scratching his b@!!$!!!
it's insane!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he does it in front of kids, and the other players dont seem to care.
I guess he could be doing something else, but heck, it just looks so obscene.
a week ago at this time, I was away at easter camp and looking forward to a wonderful week of holiday that was to follow thereafter.
and before that I had just been through such a tough and grueling week at uni (of tests and assignments).
you can imagine the happiness when those tests came to an end as I was immediately ushered into the holidays. (seriously, that was such a high)
holidays contained happiness, joy, lonliness, depression, procrastination, study, fatigue, laziness, prayer, falterings... (the lot)
but today, all of it seems to have come to an end. It is now the weekends, which will be closely followed by school again. The easter break is over [just like that].
how precious is time!! there is no such thing as a pause button in life. time-outs do not literally mean what they say.
the clock ticks... and my youth is being wasted away.
so much of my time has been thrown, and devoted to non-value added stuff. I feel so guilty now.
I really hope I've done something through the week that has somehow pleased God, but it's so hard to tell. I fear that I have wasted this whole week as nothing I've done is worthy enough to be mentioned. nothing I've done may have pleased Him at all.
In fact, I feel I haven't really been worthy enough at all.
I've done nothing.
crap.
I'm useless (the truth hurts)
how come I can have so much ideals and visions, yet somehow do not execute what I think.
what i wanna do I do not do, what I do not wanna do, I end up doing.
I'm wierd. How is it I can have such drastic mood swings. How come I can look normal on the outside yet feel so downcast and hurt on the inside. Why am I always battling internally- and putting out the fires within to troubles that other people do not seem to even know. and sometimes, it's as if I feel that there's no person in the world that would be able to help me. heck, I can't even describe my problems.
how did so much happiness manage to escape from me? Did I not pack enough with me to last through these times?
oh yes, its the idle periods when I fall the most.
anyhow, back to the issue of time- its just amazing how this whole week of holidays seem to just Fly by just like that.
I guess easter camp was something worth mentioning.
I really went there with the intent of seeking God. I guess he gave me the added bonus of fun and I also got to know the people at church better.
oh oh
I saw a video that made me laugh my ass off!
the mighty Steven Gerrard... scratching his b@!!$!!!
it's insane!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he does it in front of kids, and the other players dont seem to care.
I guess he could be doing something else, but heck, it just looks so obscene.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
The test looms ahead
what a difference today made for me.
having had to upload my previous thoughts a day late, I had a chance to re-read my post.
I realised how scared and desperate I was that night, when Failure seemed so imminent.
it was as if all my efforts looked to add to nothing. my whole study period = a disasterpiece
stress and tension.
down and out
K.O....
I was beaten
and with that, I went into slumber... defeated.
but no, that was not the case today.
for today, I was aided...
just wanted to say:
Thank you.
keep the blessings coming.
having had to upload my previous thoughts a day late, I had a chance to re-read my post.
I realised how scared and desperate I was that night, when Failure seemed so imminent.
it was as if all my efforts looked to add to nothing. my whole study period = a disasterpiece
stress and tension.
down and out
K.O....
I was beaten
and with that, I went into slumber... defeated.
but no, that was not the case today.
for today, I was aided...
just wanted to say:
Thank you.
keep the blessings coming.
this was supposed to be up yesterday, but my internet connection had failed:
the problem with finance: studying long hours does not equal understanding.
look, an essay may require lots of hours, labor and thought. But at the end of the toil, you generally have a finished product.
well, my friend, finance is nowhere like this.
long hours and time spent slogging in front of the lecture notes and textbook does not guarantee a finished product.
I’ve read and read and read but to no avail.
the bottom line: I’m just not smart enough
useless output,
utter inefficiency
even passing it seems like such a hurdle.
help people, I’m stumbling.
so washed out at the moment…
God please shine some light into this.
please bless please bless please bless please bless please bless please bless please bless please bless please bless please bless please bless please bless please bless
and intervene
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