moonset & sunrise

on Friday and Saturday I saw moonset & sunrise.

so beautiful.

firehouse.down.

"No matter what, be brave in the face of fear, happy when sad, and compassionate always."

- Jon Wright

--------------

“He who loves one woman, loves them all; he who loves many, loves none.”

(Spanish proverb)

out.of.touch.

you know you've become irrelevant to the younger gen when u play their 3D games and find the experience like a dizzying nausea.

"...he [referring to me] went for stitches before! on the lips some more!!!"

"wah, cos he talks too much kok right...?"

dear God

what does it really mean to be Your hands and feet? Does it really entail a lot of suffering? Can I go through this suffering and yet be filled with joy infinite? I would like that...

providence.

He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,

He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;

To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,

To multiplied trials he multiplies peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,

When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,

When we reach the end of our hoarded resources

Our Father’s full giving is only begun.

His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,

His power no boundary known unto men;

For out of His infinite riches in Jesus

He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.

Annie J. Flint (1866-1932)

wonder.

why do You like me, when I don't even like me...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFfN6r53vIY&feature=player_embedded

shine.

I don't think I will get much sleep tonight, after watching thai horror movies at such late hours that will now have my thoughts consumed by unnecessary fears.

I hate being fearful. It truly cripples a person. Nobody should be living under such a tyrannic gripe. We are all meant to shine, everybody stands a chance. There should also never be disparity or injustice amongst people. This all must be fought and destroyed from the face of this earth.

in. worship.

Lord of the Heavens and the earth

My Savior, Redeemer, risen Lord

All honor, glory, power, and strength

To Him upon the throne

Holy, holy, You are worthy

Praises to the Son of God

Jesus, You alone are worthy

Crowned in righteousness and peace

Glory, glory, Hallelujah

Praises to the great I am

Hosanna, join with angels singing

Worthy is the Lamb of God

in His Name

we overcome. For the Lord our God is able.

Let my life be utter worship in everything that I do. Let it all be pleasing to Your sight.

I pray all these during a barren and stormy time, that Jesus, You shine even brighter than everything else cos that's just the way it should be. I just feel so broken at times, but I live because You are Life. worship You.

offer.

up till now, I don't what I'm good at or what I can even offer. I have always doubted myself and counted everything I do as insignificant. While that may be true, at the end of the day, I do know something- that I have a desire within me to simply be on the side of Christ. On the final day, I'd want to meet Him and not be ashamed.

and if I could, I'd want to win some souls for the winning team. I just want to be part of Christ- be it a street cleaner or a ruler, I just want to spill life for that purpose. along the way, I guess I will start to realise what I can offer because of the enabling God provides :)

Jesus.

I was made to praise you

I was made to glorify your name

In every circumstance

To find a chance to thank you

I was made to love you

I was made to worship at your feet

And to obey You Lord

I was made for you

I will always praise you

I will always glorify your name

In every circumstance

To find a chance to thank you

I will always love you

I will always worship at your feet

And I'll obey You Lord

I was made for you

knight.

Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Be brave and upright, that God may love thee. Speak the truth always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong; that is your oath.

different.

sometimes, I feel like I'm totally out of sorts when compared to the norms and ideals of how a normal person should live, act and behave. I mean, there is a huge discrepancy in my thinking- a stark contrast to what society values as great, cool, 'in' or even normal to that extent.

I just feel it. I'm totally different from everyone else.

deep down, I know it. There is something common in the world... an attribute that I cannot put a word on. It's there, I recognize that wordless characteristic... it's in everybody.

but I somehow, I also know that I don't have it and neither are the people of the world deficient of it.

that makes me totally different from everyone... :l

God supersedes

Status, wealth, property, looks, social groups, friends, enemies, words...

I am not defined by anything of this world.

modelling...

lessons learnt

1) its hard to smile

2) ...very hard

like all other tasks, you still do your best for it... because its for the glory of God and not for men.

like all other tasks, at the end of it, you give God back that glory, if there was any derived from it.

like all other tasks, God supersedes them

our.daily.bread.

All God’s testings have a purpose—

Someday you will see the light;

All He asks is that you trust Him,

Walk by faith and not by sight. —Zoller

The Lord your God led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart. —Deuteronomy 8:2

It’s the journey, not just the destination, that’s important.

tooth rants.

my teeth say everything about me...

on the outside, it looks decent, clean and healthy. But deep down, its actually rotten and weak.

:(

hard asks.

can You teach me more each day about You and to truly walk in Your ways.

can You help me to give up anything that is not of use to You, even though it means so much to me and the world.

can You teach me to live a life solely dedicated to You.

thank you model scouts.

today when I was walking on the streets a random guy approached me and asked if I was interested in a modelling stint because of my sharp features.

wow... I didn't realise I had it in me or that my inner beauty shined so much. :D

upon reaching home on a high, a huge chunk of my teeth had to crack and get chipped off. I'm now in a dental crisis. :(

I guess it balances out...

-_-

life.

This is my temporary Home

It's not where I belong

Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through

This was just a stop,on the way To where I'm going

I'm not afraid because I know this was

My temporary home.

I sought the LORD, and he answered me;

he delivered me from all my fears.

The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

The righteous person may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all;
he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.

Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
The LORD will rescue his servants;
no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.

JESUS

very sad.

God...

resolve

rather than chasing a girl based on the standards of the world, I will resolve to choose Jesus above all else, and when He finally provides me with a partner in whatever size or shape, I will be really happy, simply because it is His choice, and He's the only matchmaker that guarantees a true romance.

when the stars refuse to shine

and time is no more

You'll still be faithful

His banner over me is love

I love the fact that I get to move around offices, meet so many different people and interact with them- to see and share in a little bit of their lives. Now can I add Christ into that equation also...

just here...

:(

enough said.

sometimes, I just wish I could hide away

request

I pray for my friend, please grant job security, a bright future and success in wherever.

You are Lord of the circumstances and this is just another one of them

SO HAPPY

DID ABSOLUTELY GREAT, I CANT WIPE THAT STUPID SMILE OFF MY FACE

thanks, I give the glory all back to You

horrible day.

a horrible day at work, I felt like I've failed, all the superiors will now look upon me with some/much disdain. How could I screw up at such a public setting- mouth turns silent, tongue gets mangled and mind goes blank... the entire level will now know this fella is a klutz.

its true though, I'm quite a joke.

I feel like I have lost all favor.

there is a need to go back to the roots and start seeking where my true security and joy really lies.

at the end of the day, none of this will really matter, at the end of the day, Jesus is still Lord.

The king's heart [is] in the hand of the LORD, [as] the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will.

:l :l :l :l

:l

:l ;( ;( ;( :(

;-(

eternal.

If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.

-Oscar Wilde

redeemed.

He came to my desk with a quivering lip, the lesson was done.

"Have you a new sheet for me, dear teacher?

I've spoiled this one."

I took his sheet, all soiled and blotted,

And gave him a new one all unspotted.

And into his tired heart I cried, "Do better now, my child."

I went to the throne with a trembling heart, the day was done.

"Have you a new day for me, dear Master?

I've spoiled this one."

He took my day, all soiled and blotted,

and gave me a new one all unspotted.

And into my tired heart he cried, "Do better now, my child."

Author Anonymous

don't.give.up.on.me.

you know me, my deepest thoughts, my insecurities, my wretched nature, my sins. You know all that.

I totally hate me, but I know there's always someone in this world who'd be rooting for me, to succeed. your child, jeremy

sometimes i just feel so wronged so alone and a part of me feels that I deserve it.because I am a wretched being.

please...

heal uncle steve.

remove the hopelessness on their faces

restore them

It seems as though they're trying so hard to reach You, for Your power, but to no avail. They look so discouraged, so despondent. It kills to see them so down.

I love them all so much, but I know Your love for them is far greater and unwavering. You'll come through.

if I say that I miss you

you'd probably wouldn't believe me anyway

every time I want to send you a greeting, I withhold because I'm scared... of the rejection, of the silence. Instead, I'd type it out anyway and then imagine sending it, praying that the message would still reach you somehow, through magical wings, via God.

job. aspirations.

it looks like it, the start of the next phase of life. This current period after all, is pure fantasy and a waste of breath anyway. Is it of any value to be a kid forever? My life so far is rockstar. I will miss being the entertainment IC and party coordinator. I guess, it’s time to grow up. But does growing up... entail working? Pursuing a career? Bringing home the cash? Does this define what growing up means?

let this secular task be ministry, and let all my actions be worship. In fact, there will be no divide between what is secular or not, let everything I do be scrutinised by You. Only then will there be meaning and truth in everything I do. Growing up simply just means I'm being used by you in the area of grown up matters.

I will rock in my job, I will rock it so hard

in the drudgery of work I will find passion & worship

in workplace politics I will choose love

in the people and departments I will see ministry

in anger and confict, I will choose Christlikeness

in everything please give me the strength to follow Jesus

give me love so that I can love others

give me wisdom so that I can change the systems

give me open doors and opportunities to shine for you

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

new. shoes.

Hey Jem, hope you like it! May the shoes hold the blessed feet of this blessed man who goes forth to the marketplace in the name of Jesus Christ & unto His glory. God bless you, my dear nephew! Blessings...

-My uncle, who bought me my first pair of working shoes

I'm so pumped on starting work!

the girl's a bit special

"I prayed a lot!!!!! Oh ya, i tell you this! To learn a language, you have to pray A LOT!!! HAHA:)) that's what I learnt when I was learning languages! :'p"

...Park Ye Won, on how to learn a language

wow, she's also quite a genius I must say.

decisions.

well, a second interview had come today- the dream job I had previously wanted so much.

Had you called earlier, it'd have been really tough to choose. Was this meant to be? This whole difference in timing had made my job selection way too easy.

I realize, I actually do have passion(s), whether it was in that job, or the current one I have accepted, both have struck me with a lot of interest. It'll be mental, and I will love it.

big. bang.

돌아보지 말고 떠나가라 또 나를 찾지 말고 살아가라 너를 사랑했기에 후회 없기에 좋았던 기억만 가져가라 그럭저럭 참아 볼만 해 그럭저럭 견뎌 낼만 해 넌 그럴수록 행복해야 돼 하루하루 무뎌져 가네

hope deferred. God fulfilled.

to you, if you are currently feeling that God is not hearing your silent cries, not answering your calls or not having your needs (however immediate) met.

if there's an issue within your family that needs to be resolved, but the fix doesn't seem to come at all. You feel He's not helping. If you are unemployed, and looking for work, but that dream job of yours doesn't seem to be appearing anytime soon. You feel He's not providing. If you're single, hoping (and hoping!) for that dream guy of yours to come along someday... much to no avail. You just feel He's not fair. If you have given your heart to someone but he/she doesn't seem to reciprocate, leaving you totally broken. You feel He doesn't care. If you really desire that someone so much, that the feeling consumes you, reaches to your throat, and you're just overwhelmed and unable to handle it, much to your dismay because there is just no other outlet to pour it out to. You feel God's just not with it.

to you, if you are currently feeling this way, I just want to encourage you:

don't trust feelings- look to a God who hears us, knows exactly how a human feels and ultimately, wants the best for us. period. Believe that a God who is bigger than the universe is also the same God who has promised never to leave you, relating to you personally and intimately. The God who became flesh, who understood how it feels to be human is that same God whom you cried out to for supplication. Believe, that ultimately, He will deliver the goods and satisfy you in His own way- the best way. Do not give up hope that your cries and desires will go unfulfilled. Trust in Him completely and know that if what you truly hoped for and desired is really the best, He'd readily give it to you, whether in the way you wanted it or in His own way. Trust in Him to be the fulfiller of all your hopes and dreams. To you, His beloved, He has withheld nothing that is ultimately good for you.

feelings (sadness, hopelessness...) deceive and shroud us from seeing the eternal, unwavering promises that God has laid out from the very start. We are often quick to forget His steadfastness in the midst of the sad and hopeless times.

"if you nail your hearts to men, it will move.

if u nail your hearts to Christ, he is the same yesterday today and forever.

keep your eyes fixed on him, not on men and women"

-Ravi Zacharias

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.

superman can't fly.

如果超人会飞, 那就让我在空中停一停歇

再次俯瞰这个世界会让我觉得好一些

拯救地球好累虽然有些疲惫但我还是会

不要问我哭过了没因为超人不能流眼泪

-周杰伦, 超人不会飞

singlehood. worries.

as I was going to write, rant and bitch about the issue of one's outer appearances again (i.e, physical attractiveness affecting chances of love and relationships), I am inspired to remember that if our lives are indeed in God's hands, then surely His promise to provide and fulfill all our needs will be upheld- even in the area of love and relationships, an issue some people feel so inadequate about. That aspect will also surely be under the providence of the One who has created and fashioned us, the One who knows us, the One who loves us, for He lavishes His word and promises onto His beloved being... you.

do not get your husband/wife the conventional way, relying on the schemes and devices of the world. Get your partner through God, down on your knees in prayer.

"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus"

learn. offering.

when you do something with no strings attached, without any gains expected, for neither fame nor fortune... just purely for the sake of service to God... when you do that, you derive total satisfaction and joy, regardless of the nature and importance of that deed itself.

when you do it not to please anything or anyone on earth, but purely as service to Him, there is a sense of a higher calling, bringing forth a sudden influx of worth, meaning and euphoria. These perks all come as a vessel for God's outpouring. Being used by God is one of the best feelings ever experienced. The deed is secondary. It is the fact that we are being used... calling. love. meaning. direction. everything. He fills you up, you are so full of it. Then, you are able to pour it out to others.

yes, life at many times seems meaningless in all its events- everything under the sun, meaningless. Christ gives it sense and only in His rewards will there be true joy.

HAPPINESS

Do Good to Please God

“Take heed that you do not do your charitable deeds before men, to be seen by them. Otherwise you have no reward from your Father in heaven. Therefore, when you do a charitable deed, do not sound a trumpet before you as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory from men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, that your charitable deed may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly.

response.

(TUESDAY, JUNE 29, 2010

anti-christian.)

some readers have asked why I put up a post with regards to anti-Christianity and quotes from a man who hates Christ. No, its not that I'm bought over by it. It's just that his statements, some aspects of it, if I must say, do make sense: We are gunning on something that cannot be seen in this life- a promise of a better afterlife. We are enduring and holding out for it, trusting and hoping with faith in God. During that time, we live a life of a, Christian. Having traits that are totally unworldly- the fruits of the Spirit. Counter-cultural. Men defines having them as 'weakness'. Having them does bring hardship. But we derive our strength and our will to live in Christ, not on money, cars and expensive clothings. It is only in Him we can dare to live that kind of life on earth, if not, it just wouldn't make sense otherwise.

also, the writer sees us as a bunch of rejects. Somehow, I don't even feel ashamed by it. In fact, it kind of instills a sense of pride in me, to be one of them... these are the people I really care for and have a heart to protect. These are wonderful people. These [if our faith isn't misplaced], are the children of God. I hope I will never forget to protect someone weaker. resist being proud.

if one lives in the ideals of the world, one will probably attain pleasures that are of the world, but is that what you really want?

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."

朋友

(TRIPLE J M WINNERS TEAM)

really hate the army experience.

but thank God for giving me these guys as friends.

everyone's moving on in our lives, but I pray for each one, that we may know You.

-----

scrap notes of events today.

today, I got to go to katong (ceylon rd), to be near tung ling bible college. Such wonderful memories and a total spiritual high when I was there. Just by being back on that street, and rethinking the experiences there was enough to elicit happiness. It was a place with so many expectant hearts, much joy + fellowship and constant teachings of our Faith. What more can we ask for!

happiness....

then I went for an interview, and it was a shamble. I don't think it went well at all.

will I work in a bank?? I totally suck at interviews, I don't know how to sell myself. It's worrying, how will I ever land a good job then? I can't stand selling myself...

"For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

pleasure. unlimited.

“Meaninglessness comes from being weary of pleasure” -G.K. Chesterton

pleasure in itself cannot be a means to an end, nor can it be an end in itself.

you cannot live for pleasure, your life is made for something more than that.

it is in worship, we find complete pleasure.

(inspired by Dr Ravi Zacharias)

HAPPINESS :D

I will turn into sky

watching over you forever.

heart. life. soul. all. Yours.

even without Jesus, can there be salvation and life? Can you live heaven on earth... concur to human leadership or hedonism as God?

there just seems something wrong in this world, something is amiss within the systems... how would we account for the so called 'degenerates' or the slums of the earth. If all human systems were perfect, then in the ideal world, wouldn't there be a form of relief and salvation for these types of people. The problem of pain and poverty was never been solved. Does that mean that not everyone can enjoy heaven? or is this the heaven you want?

not that those who aren't in this category are actually feeling nirvana. Most would still strive to want more, and those at the apex face the vanity of vanities question. They are definitely in a better physical state, but to feel self actualised... that is another question altogether. Is this a heaven worth considering?

Jesus came into this imperfect world, and those who call on His name, and acknowledge Him as God will live an eternal life in heaven, where there is neither sadness nor tears. A place of unlimited joy and something we cannot fathom as of yet. If this world itself is the heaven or paradise for a human being then I'd be utterly gutted- man can never make it right, we need to bring it all back to the Creator. Jesus even made it fair game for everyone, a simple choice of submission. Rich or poor, pain or happy, whoever you are, whether slave or free, all who call on Him are going to heaven. His promise of heaven is perfect and beautiful. The question of choice is, which heaven do you actually want? If its the latter, do you believe His promise of heaven?

I for one am willing to take risk and put my being into Jesus' promise. I'm sold.

anti-christian.

on hope:

“Those who suffer must be sustained by a hope that can never be contradicted by any reality or be disposed by any fulfillment—a hope for the beyond. (Precisely because of its ability to keep the unfortunate in continual suspense, the Greeks considered hope the evil of evils, the truly insidious evil: it remained behind in the barrel of evils.)”

“Hope is the worst of all evils, for it prolongs the torments of Man.”

on love:

“Love is the state in which man sees things most decidedly as they are not. The power of illusion is at its peak here, as is the power to sweeten and transfigure. In love man endures more, man bears everything. A religion had to be invented in which one could love: what is worst in life is thus overcome—it is not even seen any more.”

on Christianity:

“Christianity . . . is the hatred of the spirit, of pride, courage, freedom, liberty of the spirit; Christian is the hatred of the senses, of joy in the senses, of joy itself.”

"The Christian faith from the beginning, is sacrifice: the sacrifice of all freedom, all pride, all self-confidence of spirit; it is at the same time subjection, a self-derision, and self-mutilation.”

"The Christian movement is a degeneracy movement composed of reject and refuse elements of every kind... It is therefore not racially conditioned; it appeals to the disinherited everywhere... It needs a symbol that represents a curse on the well-constituted and dominant... it takes the side of idiots and utters rancor against the gifted, the learned, the independent, for it detects in them the well-constituted and the masterful"

-Fredrich Nietzsche, The Will to Power

gratitude. thanks.

I will give thanks to You, for Your goodness and supplication on my life. No doubt, I feel the pressure (everywhere), yet, this time of my life is also the best and most relaxed period ever. Will there ever be a period like this? [What I worry most actually, is that it will be like that perpetually... can that ever happen?] I do not want to be a shade, living without a reason- it is actually one of my greatest fears. However, if I dig down to the very foundations of myself, my reason surely isn't clear yet. That's actually a very big issue to me, I need revelation.

calling...

again, You have a reason and purpose, a perfect timing for each season. I will fret not, and enjoy the fruits of this time whilst it lasts. Ironically, I feel so much stronger and fitter now (compared to army). Thank you so much for that!! It's amazing how my body has come such a long way, from scrawny to very fat to fat to so much less fat now! Okay that's just a side note. For this I ask that You'll lead me not into any temptation and let me use this gift of fitness for your glory.

also, please let me learn something new each day. Engage my mind.

"To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven... He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end."

let me never lose sight of You, let me never live a mundane and godless life. Instead, in all things I do, there will always be Jesus right in it. I feel scared, at the same time I know You'll come through as You always had.

I like to say this in my mind all the time, but I really mean it: God, if you have called me to be a construction worker, so be it, let me accept it with grace and do its task for glory's sake. I'm sold.

thanks also to all the readers out there who've actually been reading my blog, and encouraged me over the years.

hearts returned. rightful owner.

for you, suffering the pain of unrequited love.

give your heart back to God. Do not put something so valuable such as your heart and serve it on a platter to a human. A mere human being. Your heart is reserved for a one much higher than that. Someone who sympathises and knows how fragile and precious it truly is. Someone who understands it. Someone whom you can entrust it to and will never ever break it. Because he really loves you. Pray. Ask earnestly: Take back my heart Lord, Let my life always be filled with love and affection. Yours. Captivate my heart forever.

in unrequited love, pain is inevitable. Sometimes you play it down thinking that your pain is not worth paying attention to. Perhaps, because you think too lowly of yourself, or when comparing your situation to someone else's- going through what is perceived as a real tragedy, be it death, separation or even illnesses, you wonder if your case is as 'serious'. But pain is pain, do not even disguise or simply try to write it off as being anything else, merely because it seems lesser when compared to the degree of pain others experience. Address it. Bring that sadness to God. He made us, He knows us, He fixes us and He'll father us through it. That is his promise to you.

to you, suffering from unrequited love.

do not let your life be governed by this depression anymore. Do not blame it or go back to it whenever you get knocked down in other circumstances, using it as the reason for being stifled or to amplify the depression. Overcome it by being filled with the love of Christ. And finally, live. Live by the only correct way of feeling alive- chasing after the heart of Christ and being so in love with Him.

wait on His timing. Someday, He will give you a partner and ordain that relationship. When your heart feels alive and is aroused because of him, there will also be a divine sense that the time is right for it too...

"Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart."

“If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.”

peace. the. fullness. of. life.

(Tang Tang)

right now, I am where I am needed to be. There is no utopia nor is there a greener pasture to settle elsewhere- unless I hear a distinct call to sojourn and move out. So far there hasn't been one but only the cry of my own heart screaming with petty reasons. Do despise it though, because the reasons, no matter how petty they are, have left my heart ravaged and broken. This desire within me now to leave this place and circumstance is merely a weak attempt to flee from a calling or a destiny that is at hand. In short, I am a coward.

or, I am just worried and scared of the upcoming chain of events. All that worrying has made me try so hard to orchestrate the future to fit my own terms and conditions, dictating them to achieve my desires. However, all that tempering and intervention (or whatever futile attempt at it) so far has gotten me nowhere. Instead I feel grounded and resentful, not wanting to move out from the safe rock and going on to experience that which is life...
I do not want to clamp up anymore. Time to step out and live.

it doesn't matter where I am or what I do, as long as I am in the very center of the presence of God, exactly where He has placed me to be.

if Jesus is not the center of your life, then your life is out of focus.

trust me to think of this hymn back in 1994, when I was a little kid, as my baptism song. Now within these lines are stuff that is so real to me. I guess you really are what you choose- having picked this hymn, it now resonates as my lifesong:

I don't know about tomorrow
I just live from day to day
I don't borrow from it's sunshine
For it's skies may turn to gray
I don't worry over the future
For I know what Jesus said
And today I'll walk beside Him
For He knows what is ahead

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand

Every step is getting brighter
As the golden stairs I climb
Every burden's getting lighter
Every cloud is silver-lined
There the sun is always shining
There no tear will dim the eye
At the ending of the rainbow
Where the mountains touch the sky

I don't know about tomorrow
It may bring me poverty
But the one who feeds the sparrow
Is the one who stands by me
And the path that is my portion
May be through the flame or flood
But His presence goes before me
And I'm covered with His blood

Do Not Worry
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes... Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? ...But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

JESUS YOU ARE MY LIFE AND EVERYTHING I WILL LIVE FOR.

love. onward.

the stories of success are always from those with drive, passion and vision for something in life. Even when that vision wasn't what they set out to do, these successful people still had the same resolve in them, translating that resolve onto another vision and going on to achieve a successful life nonetheless.

the stories of successful people in the faith were the same- always from people who had these characteristics. If not in the things of God, then it would be on matters in the secular world (initially), although God would somehow lead them out of it and direct that drive on towards visions pertaining to His. They'd take a 'gamble', put everything into the hands of the Almighty and take the plunge, submitting all their hopes and dreams into His hands, knowing that it'd turn out fine in the end.
usually in those stories, these people did turn out fine, and much more so.

however, the stories of success were always built on these characteristics- plans, dreams and passion. All these words are frequently etched all over that person's life. He had believed in something greater, went on to be bigger than life and achieved... A driven person.
doesn't God always seem to call those kind of people only?

what happens when one doesn't have a drive, passion or vision in his life? what happens to such an individual????
does he live a lukewarm, indifferent life? Merely living between the lines of mediocrity and averages? A specter of a life.
instead of putting every ounce of dream, passion and vision into God's hands, which this particular person is devoid of, He has to do something harder, and that is to put his very life into the Creator's trust- putting life on the line and taking the plunge. He will get down on his knees, pray and ask for himself to be a success, for the Almighty's dreams, passions and visions to be infused into him and for his life, the only thing he has any value of, to be to be sacrificed to His God. He'd have to trust and know that it'll turn out fine in the end, and take that plunge...
what happens? Somehow I believe that such a person will turn out fine, and much more so too... ;)

"O LORD, you have searched me and known me...
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well."

暴风骤雨

抛弃

you won't fail me... all your promises still stand, and I reject anything within me that thinks I am a lesser person or made useless whatsoever. I stand by all the power and authority you have promised to bestow on your sons.

sometimes, I don't even feel any strength or willpower to fight.
sometimes, it feels as though I've got no one backing me up. Actually, I kind of feel that all the time...
but it's alright, I've been there countless times before, and I haven't broken down or died in ANY of those circumstances. In fact, I am the king of gritting my teeth and carrying on despite the load and sadness upon me. I did it, despite all circumstances telling me otherwise.
this time though, I do not want to do this again the same way. I want to do it, with the full knowledge of my God right with me. When no person comes, when there's no form of rescue from anybody for me, I still know that He's got my back always... it will be on his very existence that I live and find mine own. Because His existence is love... and life.
...more than enough for a human being. That's surely the reason to carry on.

--

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?
Hebrews 13:5,6

Night Fury !

I'm not worth it.

period. all around, there are people 100x better to choose from.

the sluggard destroys himself....the ant is hard working, but ULTIMATELY neither the sluggard nor the ant matters, if you don't etch and root your planning and foundation in something meaningful- Christ Jesus!
-Steve

its retarded that we can't watch the world cup without paying $$$ (I'm poor)

Bloggin from an iPod at rhode island

all never done before

because you have said so, and because you are in authority of me, I will obey.
your advice I will follow.

rhode island. Brown. Pompus.

my prayers for you- all the best :)

I want to be a traveller but 22hrs is just horrible although I got to see sunrise over the pacific

off again

I'm not looking forward to the flight- 22hrs on the plane. + the time difference.
this time round I'll truly experience what it means to feel jet-lagged. I'm up now because there is NO need to sleep- in Rhode island its 12.29PM so I should be wide awake enjoying the afternoon... just doing my bit to keep my body clock in check. ok whatever, excuses.

sometimes I look around me and I truly feel like a kid. All the strife and competition happening amongst my peers just to earn a good job. All that poise and drive just to push oneself into a good career path. I just think I'm not good enough for that...
or rather, I just do not have the competitive zeal within me to fight. All my life I have always let other people overtake me. I think its bad to be too soft- people call that WEAKness.
also, people fight most for that which they truly desire, or what is closest to the heart. Deep down, I know that a corporate career or the cash is definitely not what drives me forward. Is that why I have such poor fighting spirit when it comes to such things? Excuses aside, at this moment, I really do need a job that can support me, or rather, a job would let my parents worry about me no more.

sometimes I look around me and I truly feel like a kid. How come people always think that my second bro is the older, more mature one. Why do I always seem like the young one to everybody. But they have a point there, I look at him and there are times when he does seem like the leader, and the one who's got everything in check.

God, can you make me more of like an older person? someone who'd have more interest in careers and would relish conflict and competition with other people?
God, it doesnt really sound like what you teach. Maybe, can you truly give me your views, your heart and give me the character of a great servant leader? Yet, at the same time, give me a tenacious heart that would be willing to fight for everything that is within your cause.

I know something I really want to fight for right now, but it seems like a pointless cause, because I am fighting against oceans and continents, just to get to you.

SOS

help....
how do I get all that you have taught, said and promised- EVERYTHING... from my head and into my heart?
I know its good to try and be noble and all, but, it still frigging HURTs so much

how come others have it so much easier.

I still stand by everything I've said, but just somehow, please also provide relief. I want my satisfaction and joys to come only from you, given by you.
no other way.

I need your help
I need repair
I need you now.
please hear me God, this sos goes all out to you. I know I don't matter much, but I'm desperate, and the only solution is in the hands of the my maker.
I feel like a loser
I feel broken
I feel distant

a prayer

I want her to be happy, no matter what that means. I want her to find someone who will treat her with all the love she deserved from me. I want her to meet someone who will see her always as I do now, through Your eyes.

--
http://blogs.straitstimes.com/2010/5/21/10-days-in-china-i-will-never-forget

today's article in the saturday newspaper almost made me cry.
I totally feel for her parents and family.

"It hardly mattered to them that Hong Yan had been a karaoke lounge hostess, or that she had lied to them about her job and life in Singapore. What mattered most was that whatever she did, even though it may not have been right, was because she wanted something better for her family. To her relatives, she was just a filial daughter, a kind and doting sister."

.l .l

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gp31HeN0a6I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUsPy0lvLvc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIqhK6kqmks&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1BwTQwZyB8&feature=related

the pilgram

The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine

The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one's own country as a foreign land - GK Chesterton

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered - Nelson Mandela

When you travel, remember that a foreign country is not designed to make you comfortable. It is designed to make its own people comfortable. - Clifton Fadiman

One's destination is never a place but a new way of seeing things - Henry Miller

Not all who wander are LOST. - Tolkien

XD XD XD XD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ll2kajMH2u0

incheon airport is world's best airport for 5 yrs in a row???

. sometimes, the hardest choice is to sit back and do nothing at all, knowing that at that point in time, you could've done something rash, brash and possibly even succeed. But by not choosing to do so, the agony and doubts will surely eat one's mind.
160510

Back again, after leaving seoul on a rainy morning. sighh.

You've got perfect timing and I just want to follow it, living under Your wing, your comfort and Your sufficiency. When no one understands me, I know You will.

unconditional love

no matter what...
it doesn't need to be that of romance or fairy tales.
I choose to love unconditionally. In this way,I am also learning, for I've never ever thought of loving someone I am emotionally attached to in that way- I will pray for you, and wish the best for you. I want to see you succeed, and be happy even though I cannot be in the picture. I truly do.
isn't that the love of Christ in us? as opposed to being driven to love only on a skin-deep level & by the flesh. Please let love always be pure, because my God is love

its pain to write this... but I will put trust and faith in Him, He is God of my relationships too. Everything.

beauty

today I saw the sun set over the han river, over the border was north korea and the south was lined with rice fields, fences and guardhouses. It was a beautiful sight...


I just want to be with you... its gonna be pain not seeing you again. (But I guess you will never know it)

against all odds

sometimes its not really fair, when I see people who've scorned me before, or have broken my heart go on with much more success (and joy) in their lives.

in situations like these, how should I react? should I feel happiness for them? It feels so hard to.
most of the time when I meet them face to face, I'd just stand and smile... :D and look as though everything was normal. But deep down, I know I'm concealing some hurt and also, my mind just starts thinking me as the biggest dork loser at the current moment.
I don't know if this feeling is abnormal & I might just be overly sensitive. But hopefully, I can find a solution to such a social issue and someday, truly just be happy for both friend or foe, whenever I see good in their lives.

Melancholia

The Awakening
By Virginia Marie Swift

A time comes in your life when you finally get it... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening...

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world, there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop manoeuvring through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything; it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.

You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love; and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy.

You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right, to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. You allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his touch and in the process, you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. Just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul; so you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that for the most part in life, you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen, is different from working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time; FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear, is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers; it's just life happening.

You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state; the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted; things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind, and you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

Copyright 2001 Virginia Marie Swift

ok, I know you're definitely gonna be LOL at this post cos its super girly, but I still believe, deep down somewhere within me, I am a girl trapped in a guy's body. omg what'd I just say.

a reminder

please let me not be selfish
I don't want to pursue someone purely because of beauty
*not that I will succeed*
please remind me always your providence is always the best (choice)
please limit my mind and let it only pursue you
please let me never turn proud (ever)
please let these ramblings not just be another night's worth of gibberish
please somehow let me feel your heart
and let me accept and finally surrender to you

please take away all my worries
please be with me even in the mundane
please let me accept truly in my heart that your providence is the best
please distill the doubts within, or, help me to get by them
I hate it when those doubts eat through my mind
please let me accept and know that you're always leading me through
my life doesn't need to be run by a typical script- please be in charge of where I go
please give me peace
and serenity

幸福是什麼

love computer hardware
love repairing computers
love overclocking

rediscovering that it's always been in me, even though I try to shrug it off, with physical activities, with other 'cooler' stuff... guess you can't take the geek out of a person.
its just about being who you really are, only then will one's real passions be revealed.

unexpected

was super encouraged today...
not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:25

The communion of saints is a great help and privilege, and a means of steadfastness and perseverance. We should observe the coming of times of trial, and be thereby quickened to greater diligence. (Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary on the Bible is available in the Public Domain.)

expected nothing but came out with my heart feeling so much more at ease

resilience

I just realized... my blog has stood the test of time-- where so many blogs have risen and died since its inception, this site still stands and receives all my emotional rants, riddles and nonsense till today. SUGOI :D :D :D

its almost 3am at night and in case I look back on this post and wonder why the heck I am up so late, here is something that will clearly refresh the mind:

498 456 568
128
199
419
79
169 159
85

1535


461 530
118
165
419
159
79
85

1486

HAHAHAHA, retarded ain't it. sure looks like another stupid riddle, but its simple recollection- I've spent all these hours simply reading up on computer parts and the potential of overclocking a system....
...sometimes, I can understand why my parents worry for me and my lack of social life and even the fact that I am hopeless with girls. But a very (very) lovely person told me... relax. She meant it and I know it'll all be good in the end.

its approaching 3am, its probably at this time of the night when one actually feels the bliss and lightheaded feeling that signals & says the body is at peace... Peace, don't we all yearn for it? A day, a life without that internal conflict within. Just feeling that fullness and grasping at the realization that sometimes life has to be lived for something greater than oneself for it to be fulfilling. But alas, when we awake and the tide of the world comes sweeping at us again, this ideal becomes forgotten, or rather, we just shelf it at one corner saying that we will entertain it another time.
but really, that period of bliss and that simple idea was actually the most important and meaningful concept that came fleeting into your mind...

stay the same

this is me right now,
but next time we meet
a couple of days...
months...
years...
that me wouldn't be the same anymore
can I just still be me all the way... I know its impossible, everything would be different.
even you wouldn't be the same anymore.
but its all for the better... isn't it?
I am such an emo... why do I have a heart of a girl inside me. weaknesssss

------

i wish
i could understand everyone's culture
and language
it'd be so cool

i guess. but i remember- universal language= love -aggie !

God you're so unfair

why do so many fine young ladies that serve you struggle to find a guy
and those that do aren't the best of characters, though they look physically attractive
does it all just show...that you care not for external beauty?
does the outward appearance really mean NOTHING?
if it means so little to you... then can you teach me also to feel the same way

sometimes I hate myself- if only my mind could think thoughts that were higher and closer to your heart, rather than struggling and contending in the worldly hierarchy of needs.
ok ranting out...

melbourne. japan. down

hero dreams

wish i could just build a boat, where everybody within it... is safe, saved and full of joy.

its not where you want to be, but where God calls you to be that matters.
sometimes, I just wish a audible voice from above would tell me whether I am heading the right way, or perhaps nudge me in the correct direction if I'm straying from it. I wish, I could travel all year long... stress-free

Serenity Prayer:
God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

at the end of the day, even though I feel out of place and lost, wishing I were somewhere else- its where You want me to be that matters

(Pr 6:20-35)

Seven things hateful to God.

If the slothful are to be condemned, who do nothing, much more those that do all the ill they can. Observe how such a man is described. He says and does every thing artfully, and with design. His ruin shall come without warning, and without relief. Here is a list of things hateful to God. Those sins are in a special manner provoking to God, which are hurtful to the comfort of human life. These things which God hates, we must hate in ourselves; it is nothing to hate them in others.

Let us shun all such practices, and watch and pray against them; and avoid, with marked disapproval, all who are guilty of them, whatever may be their rank.

About this commentary:
Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary on the Bible is available in the Public Domain.

很可惜没有祝福...

I guess I have to move on, its actually quite easy in theory, but why cant I put it in practice:

seek You in the morning, learn to walk in Your ways
step by step You'll lead me, follow You all of my days
-Rich Mullins
---

just ended a 2 day filming project where I helped a friend as a celefare for his independent film project. I cant believe I actually: dawned the stupid number 4 + stupid camo cream + SBO!! + go out into the jungles!! Gosh, I am amazing, sometimes I think I am too kind.
During the film shoot I met my BMT friend (which means he also just ord-ed not long) who had gone to pierce to catch prawns. He also said the same thing to me. ha ha ha, ok enough ego tripping...

speaking of ego, honestly, I cant stand youths, their puberty phase and their raging hormones. I hate complimenting them or even conversing with them to feed their stupid egos. Don't you find, that its always the young or matured ones that are always a joy to talk to. The in-betweens are just a horrible bunch.

pure intents - True companionship

everyone does things for love, but is it real love when one does things for another with the idea of pursuing a relationship and getting a partner? Then, that love has to be a little flawed right, because there is an agenda behind it. In the end, a degree of action has been done just for personal satisfaction- to attain a partner/friend for oneself. If so, then that isn't real love after all right?

there are very few people I've met who've cared and loved so much, without any intent of attaining good-will, love, affection or satisfaction back just by doing so. Every other time, people do things with an agenda in mind. That's only natural- I give you a present, I expect to score some friendship points or love votes from the other party. But, is it possible to have love that is just so pure, without any intent or catch?

what do people call that? Agape right?
I guess we can all try, and after reading this, I feel disheartened because the people around me or even I myself do not possess a love such as this.
but take heart: that all of us do have someone with that kind of agape love who loves us, and He lives right in our hearts, if we let Him in. And when He's in you, we can tap on His reservoir of love to give others, because after all, He is love. Maybe someday, He'll give each of us so much more love that we will then finally live as saints. Now I just realised that I used the word love one too many times

ranting out.

the great escape

its all coming together now:
australia, japan, korea, and possibly bali- my travel plans are slowly taking shape. From beautiful autumn, to sakuras, to the beach life, this is one heck of a ride.
I will not look left nor right, only to whatever's ahead. I will stick to to my master plan.

'ni shi na zong shao ye xing xiang, you du su de, bu yao qi zuo ah beng, na zong fa xing bu shi he ni de'
-summarized version of what my hairdresser said to me when I requested to cut lines on the sides.

everton

rocks!!!!!
everton 3 - 1 man utd
totally made me smile.
football rocks, if only I could play with people who were my SIZE, then I can finally use some strength and tenacity when fighting for a ball.

thinking ahead

actually, I'm really scared... that if I do end up attached/married, I won't love my wife enough. We might end up miserable and quarrel all day. We might hate each other after awhile. I'll prob pull on those silent treatments to people I get sick of. I'm really scared that would happen. What if I don't love my partner enough?

sometimes, it might be better not to be married.

waiting for that letter. waiting for that answer

sad.
I hate goodbyes- I never could deal with them. How can someone be so used to setting off or leaving?!? Its really a gift- to be able to easily plug and unplug oneself onto different societies and settings.
stability is better, no need to dream of being that global citizen, that is not who I really am.
anyway, back to the main point, I am sad.

God will show the way
lighting my path
with His ray

please show the solution-
really lost: need conclusion, need resolution

sometimes all my plans and my scheme-
are just so stupid: they're not your means

I don't know what to do-
am just so lost: please pull me through

so...
resolution, conclusion,
that is from your means
as I pull through
Your beautiful scheme

CNY Chu Er

a prayer from one's mouth, man hears
a prayer from one's heart, God hears.

---
talk talk talk talk talk non-stop
is that what its all about?
how about being able to just connect with someone, without the need for words- just being right beside that person, knowing with full comfort, they've got your back.
is there a need to babble so much?

superhero nightmares

yesterday whilst sleeping off in the afternoon, I had a really weird dream: I was walking through a dark alley and upon reaching a bend, I saw an asian girl being tied up with a cloth stuffed up her mouth. She was surrounded by a bunch of ang-moh thugs who were obviously looking to rape and kill her.

as I stood there in shock, one of the thugs sniffed at me and told me to run along as though I didn't see the incident taking place at all. In my mind (within my dream of course), I was at a dillemma because I know something bad is going to take place should no one intervene.

so there I stood, firm on my feet, unwavering, yet taking no action other than gazing in fear and disbelief at the horror before me- because I probably didn't know how to react to those guys. (I think this part was super realistic because in real life, I prob wouldn't be so loud and dashing as how the tv heroes would often react, instead the my indecisive and fearful side of would step in and make me appear dumb and nonreactive on the outside, yet on the inside, my heart is pounding and justice is appealing to the mind for action. So that standing part seems really real to me.)

the thugs, taking the hint that this lone ranger isn't taking the escape route decide to take action, and before I know it, they have sent the whole gang chasing after my head also.

towards the end, I found myself trapped at some house backyard, collapsed on my knees hiding behind a wall with no more energy as I heard the bad guys coming for me. Then, Salvation came. I opened my eyes, and woke up from my dream. My character probably didn't make it, but I guess I did TRY to someone in distress, whether or not I succeeded is another story.

and...
I think I've had one too many afternoon naps

made a difference to that one

u r really a nice guy man
i think u r one of those good ppl that God send in difficult times
haha
esp army

thankssss, at least I know not all is wasted ;)

-------

I'm hurting... somewhere. There is an aspect within me that really needs healing and ministering to.
just can't pin-point it.

it looks like there is a slight CHANCE I will not be working here but overseas. ?Is this right.

ord rambles

I have emerged from this NS experience with some lessons learnt-
for one, it is realizing my limitations. It is to see how useless I really am. It is about realizing that some matters are completely not in your hands. It is also seeing at times how God just takes over and controls those situations, steering me out of the dangers- the miracle unfolding right before me.

army was filled with much worries and problems, and God definitely lets one go through all of it with His mercy- experiencing the downs and pains. But I really believe that this IS true: that God will not let me go through something greater than my threshold. When He knows that you can't take it any further, that hand of mercy will come in and get you out of the struggling pit. I believe this. I have experienced this so many times.
but I guess, its only in the struggle when one truly exercises their muscles. Getting out of a ditch requires a full range of muscles to be used as the person climbs and reaches up for safety. At the end of it, when I look at myself, I see how much God has unconsciously strengthened my entire being through the struggles. Inner strength is forged. True shape reveals. This is who I really am.

"this is the real Jeremy"
wow, profound words there, I was struck when you actually said that.

I don't know about the future, but I do know the One who holds it, and He is someone who loves you and only wants the best for you.

hi!!!

Happy new year, I miss you!
Back to camp, back to duties. 1 more month!!

prayer meeting

when you have Christ in your heart you are a missionary. People whose hearts do not have Christ are the mission field.

I have a passion for the lonely people. The people who are friendless and in the background.

fear

oh crap, I've got a cyst on my left wrist- it's the reason for all the pain and discomfort over this year. The doctor said I gotta go for surgery. Shit man, its the second time I've heard this word. This time though, I think I have to go for it, for the pain is really a hindrance. Surgery... sounds scary right?

in my thoughts every single day.

as time goes by

I feel so confused.
not a day goes by w/o having thought of you.
where do I stand, why do I feel like this?

it feels so liberating, finally to have released this- made known.
yet at the same time, nothing seems to have changed.
the fact is, I really do miss you. period.

hong Kong is beautiful.
(but so are you...)

ok that's about enough.
mind out.
...
it all doesn't make sense anyway
thinking rationally, I'm probably the only one feeling this light-headedness of a yearning desire. mutuality doesn't exist.
I was meant to fail.
WHY- I had probably crafted a fairytale out of nothing.
I am just too thick-skinned and, I do not understand the signs or lack of it.

dreams

twice I've chased and desired so much...
each time you've made me forget and even drained out all the infatuating emotions I've stored within.
This time...
Will you score a hattrick?

"I think it's just an infatuation"
"But there're so many other girls, why can't I like any of them?"

wish it was that easy, but its always the hardest things yield the most rewards in the end right?
I know you will supply.

Being sick sucks, when I look around at the other fellas, my natural fitness falls so short.

Jeremy Neo
Humanitarian, Social entrepreneur

no hits, all misses

I really love you guys. Family + you guys = my family

姚. says:
i know!
姚. says:
we seriously need to keep in touch after
姚. says:
i'm having the best time EVER in nsc
jeremy says:
yea, our group was the best
jeremy says:
dont know if working will ever be like that manz
俊礼. says:
let's start a company tgt
俊礼. says:
lol =D
jeremy says:
HAHAHA, with our culture
jeremy says:
we may go
jeremy says:
bust

mark lee, I'm gonna miss you man
and...

I miss you even more-
shouldnt be so gloomy though, at least, I had a chance to meet you. Thank God for the opportunity. It just raw emotion, but I really can't control it. How did you captivate me so very much? You caught me the first time we met.
When you like her, you can't help it. Even if you try to control or withhold, that attraction spills out from your very inner being. I keep scolding myself for having such feelings, but... what else can I do. Is there a ALT F4 button that I can simply press to dispel it all?
*smack smack smack, whack up friend.
"Actually she's not very pretty, you can get better"
"If I can have someone like her, I'll be super contented already"

All those glances, and all those smiles and harmless greetings were... exhilarating.

resolution for the week:

I will guard my mouth, and the words that come out of it.
I will give my speech some thought before lashing out meaningless banter.
I will speak only words to edify, and not harm.
for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.

Matthew 12:34-37
A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things.
But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.

The crux of living one's life:

Ecclesiastes 12:13-14
Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.
For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.

granturismo

I love you.
absolute thing of beauty, I've never felt so much exhilaration going down at top speeds in a sports engine.




jilted. its so painful.

overflow

please come back to me... i miss you so much
this is my cry, that i could just be with you.
stay, right beside me.
I'll keep you safe,
I promise

Phillipians 4:19

All My Needs
"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:19

I believe this verse is one of the most doubted verses in the Bible for Christians today. You show what you believe by what you do. Belief inspires action. If you believe God supplies all your needs, you will depend on him; if you do not believe that God supplies all your needs, then you will seek to supply your own needs. Belief inspires action.

I know that until I leave my fathers home, I can depend on being able to eat here. I know that the need of my stomach will be filled with groceries from this house as long as I live here. My action based on that belief is that I will eat here and not worry about it. If I was worried about it constantly, I would be showing my belief that my father was not sufficient in providing groceries by going out of the way to provide for myself.

I see people on a regular basis acting as though God does not see their needs, when the truth is, their "needs" are not what God sees as needs, but wants. Why does our lack of faith take over a situation that is simply God's job? Why do we act as though the need is not going to be supplied by our heavenly father? If my earthly father is faithful in supplying earthly needs to me, how much more is my heavenly father capable of supplying my needs? Not only does he supply my needs, he has an advanced knowledge of my grocery list! I do not even need to tell him what I need for him to know. He already does. Before I even ask for it, he is preparing to provide it.

Are his riches in glory ever going to be insufficient? Will he bounce the check of heaven on my little problems? There is no way, and it would be mad to suggest it! However, modern Christianity lives in an independent lifestyle that seeks a faithless provision to our needs by seeking to meet them through fleshly means. Do you realize that Satan is waiting for your independence from God's way so he can attack you with vices that you alone cannot handle?
Your self-dependent attitude makes you completely vulnerable to situations that only the power of God can help you through! Do not become self-sufficient and self-dependent, thinking that you can somehow manage this Christian life without the help of Christ, who was the ultimate example. Do not think that you can live a supernatural Christian life, following his steps, without Christ' power. That is simply mad!!

So that brings me to the point of this post.

Let God supply your needs. I am in a situation right now that requires ultimate dependence on God. I have no control, and therefore I am naming and claiming Phillipians 4:19. I need him to supply the need. I could make a knee-jerk decision to try to handle it myself, but that will only make matters worse. I need to depend on God!

Do you need money? Does God know that? Of course he does!! What doesn't he know? The answer is not to take matters into your own hands! If you're right with the Lord, pray and ask God to take control, admitting your incapability to handle the situation.

Now, God is not a bell-hop either! God does not watch his children muddle around and mess up a situation, only to run and bail them out when they realize what a mess they've made. If you have not honored God, do not expect him to save you from the consequences of your sin. That is not what is being written about in this post! I am talking about you being in situations that you cannot control and allowing God to do his job as your father.

Do you need a husband or wife? Who would know best when and who you need? Of course, God would!! If God knows best when you need to be married, and he knows best who you need to marry, shouldn't you just claim the promise of Phillipians 4:19 that God will supply that need?
When it's time, God will give you who you need, when you need them. And trust me, he knows best. I believe that. I personally have asked God to pick me out a wife! I'm not smart enough to know how to do that, and so God is in charge of it. He is well able!!

If I believe that promise, why should I try to "help" God out by taking steps outside of his guidance? Why would I flirt with someone, knowing that God has a very special young lady that he has chosen for me? Why would you? Is God not able? If he is able, and he has not given you direction on it, then you should not be meddling; it is obviously not the right time!

The best part is, when God supplies, you know it was God! When my financial situation pans out just fine, I know who to thank! "Thank you, Lord, for your help!"
And when God puts his approval on Miss Wonderful and says, "Psst! She's it!" I'll know it's God's doing. Because, after all, isn't it he that supplies these needs?

It's as simple as this: Let God be God! Let God supply your needs! He's surely worth trusting.
(stolen from some person's blog)

Riddles

Psalm 51
For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.
1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.

4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.

5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts [a] ;
you teach [b] me wisdom in the inmost place.

7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.

14 Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

15 O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.

16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

17 The sacrifices of God are [c] a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.

18 In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;
build up the walls of Jerusalem.

19 Then there will be righteous sacrifices,
whole burnt offerings to delight you;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.


What a sad day.
Leaving.
Midnight football.
Darkness.
It's over

Good job Jeremy

I like bridges... alot alot. I dont know why.

I can run. I did it today!!